[SilverC6]

Thank You April as you’re truly a blessing. Your advice is taken and I am gone. It’s time to move on & invest in someone whom is right for me. However, I need to take time for me first. Then when I am ready, I will get back out there and try it again. Thank You as always for your keen advice on Love.

[SilverC6]

Dear April, ** UPDATE***

Against your wonderful advice, I stayed for two more months & broke things off two days ago. Sometimes I am a glutton of punishment & wanting to make an effort. Seeing if things do work for the best. 🙂

During this time, there were times were the relationship was great. We would have wonderful times then, other times the relationship was rocky. We are both of two different cultures. He is Persian, was not born in the U.S. and I am very Westernized being born in the U.S. ( Culture differences too.) When we first met, I asked of him to allow me my Independence.

Just two weeks ago, I had reconstructive knee surgery and he couldn’t even show up to support. Instead work was more important. As is always the case. I’ve spoken to him as, I don’t fault a man for working but some things in life, are more important. I was hurt. I would’ve been there from him had this been his surgery. Instead 4 days later he picked me up and we stayed together for 3 days. Expecting him to help; I was in crutches, brace and sometimes a wheelchair he would sleep 85% of the time. The other 10% he stayed working. If I asked for help, I felt like I was a burden.

Let’s fast forward to the past 5 days. Last Saturday, he had promised to pick me up, take me out spend time with me. Instead, wouldn’t you know.. he tm’d myself, 1 hr prior to saying, ‘ He is still working. It is too late to go out.’ That was at 8pm. Once again, I was hurt. I haven’t seen him for days nor, could drive. It was about spending quality time with each other. I had Cabin Fever as well. Plus, He hasn’t taken me out in many weeks which, he hasn’t in months due to financial hardships. (The way I look at it, if he can afford to spend his money frivolously then, you can take me out. ) Angered as I was already one foot out of the door just needing strength & instead of showing him my anger I tm’d him staying I was taking a road trip. Maybe I will come that way. It was the very first time I had driven in two weeks due to knee surgery. I arrived only to find him working and with his friends there..again. Always friends around. I am all for having company but, sometimes I want to be alone with him. Well.. he stated, ‘ he need to work on a truck.’ Mechanic he is. Again, I waited and waited and waited until 3.5 hours later he was finished. Then ALL 3 of us went to a 24 hr place for a quick bite to eat. Fuming inside, as I felt if he can afford to pay for all 3 of us to eat then, he could’ve picked me up for a date. Instead, I made it a point to spend time with him..not he.

Well, things went sour that night. We had a verbal argument over him not putting forth effort into picking me up and it turned nasty. He began screaming at me to LEAVE..I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE! He’s been alone for days prior and wanted to be alone. I kept telling & trying to validate that I loved him. Asking ‘why are you pushing me away?’ That is when in his anger, he picked up a tire iron that was close to him as I was standing across from him and he raised it. Seeing this, I yelled at him ..’ Put it down! Don’t EVER pick that up at me again.’ I could see that, it finally clicked inside of his head that, he needed to put it down and that he did. I left and we continued to argue via tm for hours later. I asked him to never pick up a Tire Iron at me again, wrong move and that his actions concern me. He stated, ‘ It was all made up in my head again.’ Typical answer for someone whom maybe has an anger or problem with abuse.

I did contact him the next day stating, We can take this as a lesson learned and learn to respect each other. Love each other. We said our apologies and Monday night I went to his place. I know.. April, glutton for punishment. I hate quitters & want to know that I’ve done everything in my power to make things right.

Well April, when we first saw each other, we kissed and his friends were there ..again. After he finished working, we went to bed. April, there hasn’t been any intimacy or Love making in over a week. None of that occurred on this night either. Which he states, ‘ he can’t think about making love now due to stress at work.’ The next day, we kissed and said our goodbyes, talk to you later.

Later on that night, I wanted to stop by. I called and he said..’ come on but, I am TIRED!” Well, an hr later while getting dressed I received a TM stating, ‘ I have to go do something be back at XX time.’ Which was 4 hrs later. I was angry but, replied, ‘ Cool, go do your thing. Maybe some other time I will come by. Be careful.’

Hmm, I recalled he was very adamant about being tired so, I called. He answered the phone, we conversed normally then I stated, ‘ You were very adamant about being tired what happened?’ HE SCREAMS AT ME..” I AM GOING TO BAIL MY EX WIFE OUT OKAY!” AND SLAMMED THE PHONE IN MY FACE! 👿

This is the last straw! Slamming the phone in someone’s face is complete disrespect. I just asked as something told me this was funny. To me, Respect is not given..it is earned. I am a woman whom knows her self value, worth and standards. Therefore, I only will allow people to treat me a certain way. I am selling myself short if, I continue to stay. I could’ve cared less if, he is going to help her out. *IT’S* his actions. This isn’t the first time he has slammed a phone in my face. The third time. Three strikes you’re out! So, with this I have officially called things off and gone my way. I am feeling empowered as I am taking back my self worth and not selling myself short. It is just difficult for me as, ‘ old habits die hard.’ I am having to sit on my hands, find something else to do in order NOT to call him!

So April, this is the end result. I knew that, I should’ve taken your advice but, I am a hard head sometimes. 😉 Any thoughts on this are always greatly appreciated. Take care!

[SilverC6]

Thank You April very much for your wisdom and always for your great advice.

[SilverC6]

Dear April,

I wanted to Thank You for taking the time to give your advice. You’ve validated what I was thinking and I’m going to take heed of your advice. For me, I guess it was ‘ false hope.’ I was hoping to find Mr.Right from someone who knows me. Instead of combing through the ‘ Nays’ trying to find the one ‘ Yay!’

You’re correct with your advice. I am looking for a Love Interest, not.. friendsip. Once again, thank you for replying and giving honest straight forward advice.

[SilverC6]

Dear April,

I wanted to Thank You personally for taking time out to reply. You’ve validated the thought in the back of my mind and I am going to take your advice. Friendship with him will end as, I am looking for a man whom will enjoy me for dating material. Not friendship. Thank You very kindly for your response as it is greatly appreciated.

[Member]

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