Thanks for your advice, April and maelene87.
I agree with both of you – given the current situation the only thing that would probably warrant a contact from me again would be should my visa situation get sorted. I am thinking if he really is someone who would want to take initiative or do something about us then he might react. Or perhaps I have to accept he has chickened out without goodbye realizing the ‘responsibility’ of relationship and that I will probably never hear back from him again.
What you say April, absolutely makes sense and I had given it some thought in the initial phase. His persuasion was strong so I gave in and strayed from being objective 🙁
But we did have open communication and some days later I highlighted to him that not paying on first date, not taking initiative were things that weren’t going to go down with me. He suggested he was willing to make a change but you never change a man, as you say, so I had thought with time I’ll be able to evaluate better. But then he came back proposing and that is when I made the mistake giving in.
I completely agree with his readiness for a relationship but I personally also feel that readiness is a state of mind. I don’t know if time away from me might give him a better perspective on things and make him review what went wrong. If his willingness is strong and if he intends to come back then I would like to hope there will be some radical changes. Should that happen, I’d like to keep my fingers from burning again and take all my time.
But all this only if he changes his mind and comes back. If he is self centred enough to chicken out without explanations and if I can become nobody from his ‘the one’ overnight, then suffices to say I want to be selfish too and re-evaluate the situ, and see if he fits the bill. And as you say, April, it’s not been very impressive so far although I have been giving him the benefit of doubt of being utterly genuine and that has been rare find for me. I have therefore refrained from judging him too much on dating ethics but they do have a good weight.
I will definitely grab hold of the book you mention, it should make an interesting read. Meanwhile, I need to focus on myself, I think, and keep my doors open for other potential (only after I sort my visa, this time!). If I am thinking on the wrong lines, please advise! 🙂
