[Jenbug20]

Hi April,

Back so soon you ask? Yeah. Im that silly.
Anyway, we spent all weekend together. We did sleep together but I mean literally that – sleep. we did not have sex. Anyway He stayed the night Friday, Saturday and Sunday night at my place and we just hung out watched movies, went on a walk, hung out, nothing extravagant. But it was fun. He met my daughter not in a serious manner just casual which he seemed to take to her very well and she to him. My question here is, I would presume he likes me…yeah? His birthday is in 2 weeks and I have no idea what to do. He had mentioned wanting to go to the beach before school starts (he is in school for his masters so he will be busy when that starts) so I was thinking maybe asking him if he wanted to go away for a night for his birthday? Would that be weird? I don’t have any other ideas. Also, in your opinion what classifies a “committed” relationship? I am just not sure where to go from here. I dont know why I make things more difficult than they are.

Thanks in advance for your help, as always 🙂

[Jenbug20]

Thank you. I will get it out of my head and just let it be. I know better than this…. ❗

[Jenbug20]

YAY! I was praying you would say that haha

At what time would it be appropriate to ask him out or to hang out with my friends at a BBQ or some other similar type of event?

[Jenbug20]

You are always right.

I didnt ask him out he actually offered to come over and help me with a couple things, so I said yes. Hes coming over tonight and bringing dinner 🙂 I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH HIM hahaha Things are super casual between us but really good. I guess I just need to stop second guessing myself so much and go with the flow. He called me last night for no reason at all and we ended up talking on the phone for a couple hours. Men don’t normally talk on the phone right? Is there any chance he could just be acting nice to get in my pants? See there I go, second guessing my gut again but I am notorious for reading signs the wrong way and jumping in too quickly.

[Jenbug20]

Hi April, seriously – you are the best!
I talked with him last night over coffee. We are totally on the same page, there is no guarantee that he is moving and we both decided that if this (whatever this is) goes anywhere that will be a bridge we have to cross, if it happens, when we get there.
We had really great conversation last night we ended up talking for 3 hours. Anyway…I know his funds are tight right now because he is in school full time and doesnt start working again until late August. So my question is, he has not asked me out technically yet. I mean he brought up going to that spot up north but nothing is set in stone yet. My family is in from another country and they’re having a barbecue Saturday and I was tempted to ask if he wanted to come with me and hang out, swim, etc. with my family. Should I ask him this or just wait until he asks me out?

[Jenbug20]

Okay I did it 🙂

Thank you.

[Jenbug20]

Hi April, new guy new question.

So again, I am back. I met this guy (literally a week ago) he was introduced to me by my friend Ive known for about 3 years. It is her brother whom is 37 and I am going to be 26 (all too quickly). Anyway, he was in a long term relationship from what I have heard she broke it off with him. Anyway we hung out one night just casual playing dice at his sister (my friends) house. We stayed up until easily 1am just chatting and spending time together, we were laughing the entire time – great chemistry. The next morning we all decided to go hang out again ended up back at her house and we all watched a movie then I went home. He got my number. He text me Sunday and we were flirty back and forth. I responded to his text message he sent me late Sunday this morning and we began chatting again later today he basically asked me out again and when I say basically what he said was “I found this awesome spot above (insert name of city near where we live here) and I think we should go check it out” I said “Sounds great, Im down.” then we chatted a little back and forth and we both had to go because I had dinner plans and he was studying. He is a firefighter and also teaches at the local college. Anyway so I call his sister today because I have some stuff I wanted to drop off for her (clothes I borrowed) and we were arranging a time to meet up Friday to do that and she brought up the fact that she talked to her brother about me today and I asked oh what did he say and she said he told her that he was afraid to get into a serious relationship because there is a probability he might be moving out of the area and he did not want to hurt anyone. What do I do with this information? I dont want a screw buddy, not that he has at all implied that because he hasnt. I just dont know where to go from here….any advice? Do I ditch him or do I talk to him about this, I mean I am at a total loss?

[Jenbug20]

You’re brilliant. I did just that. I got slightly distant didnt answer his texts right away – now he literally wants to see me every weekend. He even asked me to go to a football game with him. Im pretty excited. BUT – I think I may have messed up. He stopped by this morning and we were snuggling one thing lead to another and then we were rolling around and things were REALLY —- REALLY good and I got this weird tinge of insecurity and I seriously was enjoying myself and we almost – you know what – but we didn’t. And now I cant decide if I regret not, or if I should have. Im so torn. Ive never felt like this about someone before and I read the book so I know I am NOT suppose to tell him that but I feel like I cannot do anything right. Ive never had so much trouble before. Should I have slept with him? I just dont know where to go from here.

[Jenbug20]

One more question, which I think I know the answer too – would I be out of line asking him out again?

[Jenbug20]

Thats actually brilliant. I dont know why I get so invested and totally space these things. Its common sense. AHH! So thankful for you April!!! Thank you. xoxo

[Jenbug20]

We went to dinner tonight he made some eye contact nothing serious and didn’t really even talk directly to me that much. What the heck?!

[Jenbug20]

PS – I read your book Think and Date Like a Man. I simply love you. lol 🙂

Love,
Your nerdy fan

[Jenbug20]

HI APRIL! I feel so lucky to have your advice. Thank you 😀

He has NEVER asked for my phone number. Ever. We email. His current girlfriend has not met his kids either, yet I have….it strikes me as odd.

For instance today I emailed and said “who’s comging tonight?”
He replied “me, u and “our mutual friend…” (for privacy)
And I said “Oh okay…” (because usually he invites our other mutual friend)
and he replied “Should we invite someone else? I mean, were pretty damn awesome!!”
and i said “I was about to write you back and be like “with that attitude maybe I WONT come”
You dont want me, you want “our mutual friend” LOL
He wrote back “Lmao!!”
and I wrote back “See cant even deny it.
Maybe Ill go drink alone then.”
Then he said “Your coming, END OF STORY!!”
and I said “We’ll see.
Maybe Ill surprise you and be defiant just because I can. lol 😉“
then he said : “Save it…. See u there! 😉“

Its like I dont get it at all. Why does he act like this? Its like he wants to hang out with me in his words, but I just dont feel it. Am I being too female/irrational/over-thinking it?

I dont know what to do…sit around and wait for him to ask me out? (I do not mean stop dating other people – but I mean just see) or do I do something different?

[Jenbug20]

I think I should also mention that, I am 99% positive he knows I am attracted to him since our big mouthed friend (the one he keeps inviting to lunch with us) basically told him in a not so direct way but he cant be that stupid. Not that, that fact really matters that much. But anyway It was just a thought.

[Member]

Posts