[Jenbug20]

Hey April.
So there’s this guy we met on a project we were both hired for and we immediately hit it off we exchanged numbers for business purposes and one day he texted me and asked me to go out with him. I said yes. We went out it was great amazing conversation, etc. we had been texting back in forth for almost a moth now we see each other sporadically. He is always flirtatious and fun even throws down sexual innuendos an all that tells me he’s attracted to me whatever and Friday morning he sent me his normal good morning text and ever since then NOTHING haven’t heard from him at all. Normally, that wouldn’t be weird except he’s contacted me everyday day for like I said almost a month. I don’t get it. He only asked me out that once and now nothing. What am I to take from all of this? We have a mutual “friend” who told me he is going through a divorce which he has not mentioned at all. What should I do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If he’s married and divorcing, expect him to be preoccupied. It sounds like although you’ve been texting regularly, you’ve only had one date in a month. Don’t invest too much in something that is really just text-based. He may like the attention you give him and the fact that you’re always there when he wants you — whether it’s by text or that one date. 😳 If you’re not so available, and he misses you, he may want you more. 😉

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[Jenbug20]

Thats actually brilliant. I dont know why I get so invested and totally space these things. Its common sense. AHH! So thankful for you April!!! Thank you. xoxo

[Jenbug20]

One more question, which I think I know the answer too – would I be out of line asking him out again?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Yes. Don’t ask him out. Instead, give him something to chase — flirt with him and let him know you’re interested, with your behavior and your charms — but don’t take away what men love most: the chase! 😉

[Jenbug20]

You’re brilliant. I did just that. I got slightly distant didnt answer his texts right away – now he literally wants to see me every weekend. He even asked me to go to a football game with him. Im pretty excited. BUT – I think I may have messed up. He stopped by this morning and we were snuggling one thing lead to another and then we were rolling around and things were REALLY —- REALLY good and I got this weird tinge of insecurity and I seriously was enjoying myself and we almost – you know what – but we didn’t. And now I cant decide if I regret not, or if I should have. Im so torn. Ive never felt like this about someone before and I read the book so I know I am NOT suppose to tell him that but I feel like I cannot do anything right. Ive never had so much trouble before. Should I have slept with him? I just dont know where to go from here.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Should I have slept with him?[/quote]

No. Wait and see if there’s really a relationship there, and if he actually gets divorced. If you get invested in a man who is married, before you know much about him and about his marriage and his divorce proceedings, you may be stepping into something you never would have, had you known more before doing so. Use the dating process to see if this is someone who is compatible with you and who is actually available for you. 😉

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