[Danneskjold]

OK April, I think I understand you now!

Thank you for your advice. I guess I should just value a great employee, and a great friendship. Meantime, I’ll look into getting a proper divorce, and then set about creating a wider social circle to meet more people.

Thanks again.

[Danneskjold]

Hi April,

thanks for your advice, I appreciate it.

I would just say that when I say my wife and I are separated, I mean a legal separation. We have one son, age 25, who lives overseas.

I have considered the possibility that I am attracted to this woman just because she is “there” every day. I have waited a year to see if it was just an infatuation, or a whim. But I have found the attraction getting stronger, to the point where I am aware of her faults, blemishes and weaknesses, but love her all the more for them. I am not attracted in a sexual way, (although she does look fabulous); I am mostly attracted by her mental strength, her integrity, her sense of humor. I feel a strong desire to want to care for her, to look after her.

I would never put myself in a situation which could be seen as “sexual harassment”. But I would like to feel that I could invite her out for an evening meal, and see where that goes. However, I would only do that if I felt confident that she was attracted to ME first. That’s why I was asking about this change in behaviour. Surely, if she wanted to maintain a purely business relationship, she wouldn’t be touching me, and wouldn’t be asking me if I had time for a drink after work? These 2 things in particular seem to be at odds with keeping me at arm’s length? Or am I just a romantic dreamer?
Would an invitation out to dinner be an appropriate next step?

Thanks for your help and advice!

[Danneskjold]

Heck, I’m no expert, but I think the message you sent after she told you that she couldn’t make the football game was bit brutal.

If you really feel you guys made a connection on that date, then I would try to see her again; If you can get a quiet 2 minutes with her in the bar, in a corner, or if not, ask her out for a coffee. Either way, make it obvious (without actually saying it!) that you only want 3 minutes of her time. Then apologise for that message, say you felt bad about it, and you would really like for her to consider going out again for a meal. Ask her to text or call you when she’s got time, and then leave the ball in her court. Wait for her to call. But you’d better make that apology a good one, and be sincere about it.

Remember, people always remember how you make them [i]feel[/i], not necessarily the things you do or say. Ya gotta make her feel [i]good[/i] about herself, and about you.

Good luck!

[Member]

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