[Forever Zero]

[quote=”April Masini”]There is only so much you can do to help people. Most times the problems, like the one you’re encountering in this woman, aren’t yours to solve. You can be empathetic, but she has to be responsible for make changes in her own life in order to get on a healthy track. When you start taking on other peoples’ problems — especially those problems you can’t solve because they’re not yours to solve — you become part of the problem. 😳

I’m sorry this is hard for you, but you know what you have to do — when you’re ready to do it. 🙂

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I didn’t mean to imply I was going to directly “solve” her problems for her.. I meant more of a supportive way.. Someone she could talk to, or just be around to help take her mind off things. I know I can’t solve problems I haven’t created.. But I can still be a pillar that she can lean on should she need it..

Oddly enough after I posted here for your advice, she texts me out of nowhere yesterday telling me she was at the hospital and “things have been going on.” But now I got the whole “I have a new number, I’ll text you from it.” reply.. It’s been about two days and no message from this number. I thank you for the advice as you have helped me see there just is no interest to any kind of commitment, friendship or otherwise with this girl. Thank you very much.

[Forever Zero]

[quote=”Lstdrgn”]Abandonment issues can cause behaviuor like what you have discribed here. I personaly have had women with these issues get “freaked out” when they start to have strong feelings for people. It isn’t that you did anything wrong.

Well other then maybe, and this is just a maybe, you pushed to see her agian too soon. Women with these type of issues need time to get involved with. Hanging out to much makes them feel closer to you which brings in the fear that you will leave to the surface.

Men who abuse and beat women tend make all sorts of promisses and treat them very well in the first few weeks or months of the relationship. If you are to get close to another women with these isesue it is best to take it slow and prove to her that your not that kind of guy. Women like that take a lot of time to get in to a relationship with because you are the healing process.

At this point I’m sorry but she will not be a possibility anymore.[/quote]

Regrettably this is what I didn’t want to hear.. But in a way you are helping me heal as it is tearing me up inside with confusion that I don’t know what it is I’ve done wrong. I can understand her past being one of pain and how she feels she isn’t worth anything.. And I was and am willing to be there for her to help her heal..

I would like to remain optimistic a bit longer and give her a few more days. If I don’t hear from her by the end of the new week, I’ll begin the process of moving on. Thanks everyone for the advice.

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