[AskApril Masini]

Should I keep waiting or let her go?

How exactly did you, as a teenager, end up in a “relationship” with a woman twice your age?

Your profile says you’re 18. She’s somewhere between 33 and 40.

You say this started three years ago.

Do the math.

You were 15!

What kind of future were you planning as a 15-year-old kid with a grown woman in her thirties? Did you two discuss retirement plans? College funds? Come on.

You were a teenager. A kid. She was a grown woman.

I’m not blaming you here, but this was NOT a normal relationship. You were a kid who got sexually and emotionally exploited for three years, and when she was done with you, she moved on.

You want proof? Here it is…….she didn’t say goodbye. People who care don’t disappear.

What you’re feeling right now, the pull, the doubt, the “maybe it was real”, that’s how victims feel about abusers. Every time!

They make you feel special. Older. Smarter. Chosen. Like you’re winning some secret game.

But you were the game. You were being played.

[AskApril Masini]

The worst thing you can do in a relationship is deny your pain.

That said, I need to ask some questions to gain a better understanding of your situation.

What’s the age gap between you two?

How long have you been together?

What exactly do you mean by a long term relationship? Are you married?

How long have you been feeling this way?

No big dramas? Okay tell me about the small dramas. Those “small” things are often the silent killers in relationships.

You asked “Is it possible to be in a “good” relationship that’s actually wrong for you?”

That leads me to my final question. If you had to paint a picture of your ideal relationship, what would be different?

Your answers are gonna tell me everything I need to know if this is a normal relationship slump or a deeper sign that something is fundamentally missing?

[AskApril Masini]

If I’m gonna take time out of my day to help you, you better spare 30 seconds of yours to fill out the application form.

They help me understand your situation.

Right now, I would like to know your age and your professor’s but your form says you’re both 19-25. Both of you? You AND your professor? I doubt that.

I would also like to know if you or your professor has kids. You filled in “None” but how do I know that’s true if you can’t even fill the age correctly?

Okay, you want him to divorce his wife.Have you actually asked him about it? What does HE want?

Is this relationship even allowed at your school? Last I checked, most universities frown upon professors dating students

Has he introduced you to any of his friends or colleagues as his girlfriend?

Does he complain about his wife to you? Are you STILL his student?

You’ve got a lot of questions to answer before I give you any advice.

But spoiler alert: you’re probably not gonna like it.

[AskApril Masini]

1.⁠ ⁠Is it safe to text a nude to your new BF, exclusive boyfriend or relationship partner ?

Whenever you transmit something — and it leaves your hands — there is risk involved. The risk of texting a nude photo to your partner has to do with human error and with privacy issues that are part of using the internet. For instance, human error means you accidentally hit “reply all” when you only meant to reply with a nude to your partner. Now, your private image has gone public. With the internet, it’s hard to know who will wind up seeing something that you’re texting as private. Typically, someone other than you owns the system you’re using to transmit — whether it’s an app, an email server or a your office network server. Whether or not those companies and business can gain access to your private photos of your private parts, is hard to say. What is not hard to say is that risk is involved.

The other safety issue has to do with what your partner, who receives that nude text, does with it. An innocent problem might involve your partner leaving his or her phone open and his or her kids, parents, colleagues and friends seeing your private image. A less innocent problem is called revenge porn, and it’s what a partner does with your nude texts, after you break up and your partner is angry, vindictive and looking for revenge, so they post your nude images for the public. While this is illegal in many states, the law doesn’t prevent it from happening. It just punishes the perpetrator, so you may still find yourself with a dilemma.

Lastly, you may send a nude image to a partner — and shock them. They may not be ready for this behavior or this type of gesture. Not everyone is into sharing nude images — or sharing them too soon in a relationship. If you’re sharing the image to move things along, understand that risk. You may be pushing too much too soon. So, try to to figure out if your partner is the right audience for this type of nude image text.

2.⁠ ⁠Is it safe to text a nude to someone you’re seeing casually?

Texting nudes to someone you’re seeing casually is risky because you don’t have the same loyalty and commitment that you have with someone you’re in a monogamous, committed relationship. Therefore, you don’t have the same security of knowing that they’ll protect your privacy as you’d like it to be protected. When you’re dating someone for longer, you know them better, and you know that you can trust them — or not. Casual dates, you just don’t have the history and knowledge to trust them as much.

Also, when you text nudes to someone you’re seeing casually, you may be sending them a message that is misconstrued. Sending nudes after one or two dates doesn’t really imply you’re in this for the long run — and that’s fine, if that’s what you intend to convey.

Everyone likes to be liked.
Follow me on Instagram @AprilMasini2024 and Twitter X @AprilMasini

[AskApril Masini]

Should I keep waiting or let her go?

Hi Daniel!

Please clarify for me. Your profile says you are currently 18. Is that correct?

Please tell me how old you were when your relationship first began and how old she was (her approximate age is fine).

And, when you say “we were in a relationship for three years,” Please also clarify for me: Were you both living in Miami during those three years — or — was it a long distance relationship?

[AskApril Masini]

“Something doesn’t feel right”, “I want us to feel close again”, “we don’t talk about sex no more”

What do you mean by those?

Hi!

I’m glad to know my tips and advice have been helpful to you.

But before I can answer your question you need to answer mine.

Starting with the form you didn’t fill

becauses I’d like to know how old the both of you are,

[AskApril Masini]

Don’t waste my time!

How can you tell me in your profile that you have no child when your entire question is based on your husband changing since you had your child?

If you have a real question, I am willing to help but don’t fabricate situations like this.

I have people I need to help. People with real problem.


[AskApril Masini]

Hi Allen

Before I can help you, I need you to clarify a few things.

You said “One minute they’re invested” What’s YOUR definition of “invested”? How many dates does it take before you consider someone invested? Two? Five? Twenty?

Then you said, “Is it just enjoying the benefits without wanting the responsibility?” What do you see as the benefits they’re enjoying, and how do you think they’re dodging the “responsibility” part?

And lastly, you said “They pull away like commitment is dangerous.” How many dates equal commitment for YOU?

Your answers will give me the insight I need to help you

[AskApril Masini]

Hi Belle!

How long have you two been dating? By private, what do you mean? Do you only have private meetups? If yes, what do these private meetups consist of? Is he just not showing you off to his friends and family, and everything else is fine?

The fact that you are asking the question leads me to believe you are not happy about the situation: is he aware of how you feel? Has he asked you to be exclusive?

If you can answer these questions, I’ll be able to give you a clear and more personalized response.

[AskApril Masini]

TIMEOUT!

Alright, babe, are you confused, or am I?

And just so you know, I’m almost never confused.

Your profile says you’re a straight man. But this reads like a woman’s question. So which is it?
Are you asking for someone else, or are you asking for yourself?

This matters. A lot.

Straight dating and gay dating do not run on the same rules. Same planet, different games. If I don’t know the game, I can’t tell you how to win.

Now, if this is about you, let me be very clear. You have zero reason to feel uncomfortable here.

This is an anonymous space. No one knows you. No one is judging you. And even if they were, who cares? There is nothing wrong with being gay.

So feel free to be straight with me, no pun intended. Tell me what’s really going on so I can give you advice that actually works for your situation.❤️

[AskApril Masini]

It’s normal to be anxious prior to your first date, but the rule is simple. Don’t try too hard. Be present in the moment.

Then, my big no-no: sex on the first date. One, if you have sex with him on the first date, he thinks you’re like that with everyone. Secondly, sex clouds your thinking. When you have sex with someone, the date shifts focus and becomes about if the sex was great or not. Any clarity about this person being a future partner goes out the window.

And to answer your question, “Should a first date feel exciting, or just comfortable?” Being comfortable is what matters most.

Lastly, how would you know if you want to go on a second date? Well, that’s why you are on the date, ask questions that help you understand if they are someone you want to see again. Focus on “why” questions; it helps get clarity.

[AskApril Masini]

Hi Hania,

I’m glad my advice helped you.

When I say don’t chase a man, I don’t mean play games or act like you don’t care. I mean don’t make him the prize.

You can start a conversation. “Oh, Nice shoes.” That’s fine. That’s a way to show you’re interested without looking desperate.

Where is the real line between showing interest and chasing?

That is the moment you ask him on a clear, romantic date. Now you’re chasing him, not the other way around. And men are pursuers. They want that rush of winning
you over. That’s how their brains work.

When something is easy, men think it’s cheap. And cheap isn’t valued. That may sound cruel, many women get angry when I say it, but it’s the reality.

Also, how a relationship starts is how it runs.

If you pursue at the start, you will pursue forever.

If you plan dates now, you’ll plan them later.

If you’re fine making him the Prize, great. Go for it. But most women aren’t, and that’s why you hear the same story again and again:

“Does he like me?”

“He never takes me out.”

“He never plans anything.”

“He never steps up.”

In many cases, that pattern started on day one, when she chased and he got used to it.

So here’s the rule, Show interest. Do not pursue,. Do not ask him on a date.

Let him step up or step aside.

That’s how you sort men who are interested from those who aren’t.

[AskApril Masini]

You asked me not to judge you, so I won’t.

You clearly don’t love any of these guys enough to date them exclusively

Why hide it?

Stop sneaking around. Tell each of them the same basic truth “I like you. I enjoy seeing you. But I’m not sure about us enough to promise exclusivity”

If they’re good with that, great. If not, also great, but they deserve to know what they’re signing up for so they can make their own choice and you stop feeling bad about yourself.

What you do not need to do is tell them about each other. That helps no one and only creates drama.

For New Year’s Eve, tell the guys you’re not picking that you’re busy and you’ll make it up to them another day, maybe New Year’s Day. That’s all

I hope that helps.

[AskApril Masini]

Well, Luna, with the title comes commitment. When men reject the title, it’s their way of telling their partner, He loves the fun, but he wants the freedom to do whatever he damn well pleases, .

Men like this always have the same script. Ask them about holidays, and they slip into that soft, careful tone

“Oh, I promised myself I’d keep my relationship low-key this year.”

Meaning, he’s keeping his options open and you’re not the one he’s planning the holidays around.

[AskApril Masini]

It’s interesting you asked that.

Because, to be sincere, this isn’t a “second chance.

The second chance was when she forgave him after he tore her down, attacked her insecurities, called her worthless, and rattled her so hard she bombed an exam she absolutely could’ve aced.

So, the correct term here is Third Chance, and that’s being generous, because we’re not even counting all the mess she didn’t bother listing.

I mean, within a month, this man managed to ruin her Thanksgiving and her Christmas

So yes, giving this man-child a third chance is basically her signing up for season 3 of Torn and Confused.

[Member]

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