[Ask April Masini]

Well, Luna, with the title comes commitment. When men reject the title, it’s their way of telling their partner, He loves the fun, but he wants the freedom to do whatever he damn well pleases, .

Men like this always have the same script. Ask them about holidays, and they slip into that soft, careful tone

“Oh, I promised myself I’d keep my relationship low-key this year.”

Meaning, he’s keeping his options open and you’re not the one he’s planning the holidays around.

[Ask April Masini]

It’s interesting you asked that.

Because, to be sincere, this isn’t a “second chance.

The second chance was when she forgave him after he tore her down, attacked her insecurities, called her worthless, and rattled her so hard she bombed an exam she absolutely could’ve aced.

So, the correct term here is Third Chance, and that’s being generous, because we’re not even counting all the mess she didn’t bother listing.

I mean, within a month, this man managed to ruin her Thanksgiving and her Christmas

So yes, giving this man-child a third chance is basically her signing up for season 3 of Torn and Confused.

[Ask April Masini]

Luna, that depends on what you mean by months. Do you mean 2 months, 4 months as in the case of Ms. NotSoHappyInLove, or 10 months?

Because my answer changes based on that.

You can choose to take a girl you met yesterday to Christmas with your family today, if you so wish 😁

People drag strangers to holiday dinners every year, and families survive worse.

But inviting a partner to Christmas with one’s family should be a huge milestone in a relationship.

You should be past the getting-to-know-you stage. And I’m not talking about the stuff you share on a first date. I’m talking about what you learn by actually dating someone over time. That usually takes around 6 months.

But if they’ve been dating for over 6 months and they didn’t invite their partner to the family holiday party, chances are it’s because they are not committed to the relationship.

[Ask April Masini]

Nothing you said shows there’s a REAL potential here.

That doesn’t mean the door is slammed shut, but let’s be honest about what you’re dealing with.

She’s probably still tangled up with that abusive ex and you’re the guy she leans on when her life gets chaotic.

You don’t have to step back. Keep checking in on her if you want. Plan meetups. Show your interest. Be supportive when she needs to talk about her past relationship stuff.

But …… and this is important….. do not put your entire life on hold while she decides whether she wants to date you or not.

Keep playing the field until you two are official and have talked about being exclusive.

Wasting your time isn’t staying in touch with her. Wasting your time is cutting off other women, sitting around thinking you already have something real with this one when you don’t. Not yet, anyway.

That doesn’t mean you should date someone you have no interest in.

[Ask April Masini]

If you mean before sex, then stop overthinking it. He lost interest Period.

Sometimes it’s because he learned something about you that turned him off. But most of the time? The butterflies just died.

Don’t sit around trying to figure out what happened or how to get him back. He’s moved on, and you need to do the same.

[Ask April Masini]

Oh please! Sparks didn’t keep your marriage alive for 18 years. There has to be more. 😂

I would like to know what kept your relationship alive for 18 years, and don’t you dare say sparks. 😂

Yes, attraction is super important for getting a relationship started and keeping the fire going. But what keeps a relationship going for the long time is mutual understanding, sacrifice, mutual respect, and a willingness from both of you to make things work.

What I mean by that is:

A mutual understanding of each other’s personalities, weaknesses, and emotional needs.

Being willing to sacrifice what you want sometimes for the good of the relationship.

Respecting each other’s opinions, dreams, boundaries, and who you are as individuals.

And most importantly, choosing each other over and over again, even when things get hard.

Those are the things that make a relationship last.

And something else you should know is, the success of a relationship isn’t measured by how long it lasts. It’s measured by its quality. By the difference between who you were when you got into the relationship and who you are now.

[Ask April Masini]

The moment you realize this is not the type of relationship you want, and he won’t give it, you need to walk away.

[Ask April Masini]

You should never shrink yourself to boost someone else’s ego.

Since you’ve got no admiration left for this man, just call it quits,

Admiration can’t be taught 😂

[Ask April Masini]

A 38 years old woman with a 31 years old man isn’t robbing the cradle. Whoever said that is dumb.

Put all the noise aside and focus on just you. Whether you should stay or go depends on your answers to these questions.

Are you happy in this relationship?

Is he as committed to this relationship as you are?

Do you both want the same thing out of this relationship?

If he never changed a single thing about his lifestyle, his pace, or his priorities, could you live with that?

Do you trust him with your kids?

If you answered yes to all of those questions, then there’s absolutely no reason for you to leave. Block out the damn noise! 😂

But if your answer is “No” to any of those questions, you already know what you need to do.

[Ask April Masini]

Serena, that’s right.

[Ask April Masini]

How few is the few months? Give me an actual number.

While waiting for you to give me an actual figure, I can tell you this, “You don’t owe anyone exclusivity when your relationship isn’t defined.” Period. ‘

You have every right to explore your options, and if they don’t like that? Well, they better step up and make it official.

That said, I don’t advise going exclusive until you’ve been dating for at least 6 months.

Anytime before that is too soon because the relationship is not clear. After six months of dating, you’ll know someone better and they’ll know you better,

You can then decide if you want to be monogamous and committed to each other.

[Ask April Masini]

You can’t build a healthy relationship when one person is holding back on purpose. And never get into a relationship hoping things will get better later.

If they didn’t value you in the pursuit, they won’t value you in the relationship.

Why would they? You already accepted being treated that way.

[Ask April Masini]

We currently live in a competitive world.

From the time you’re a kid, you’re competing, in school, in sports, everywhere.

All our lives we’re thought rankings matters.

So yeah, everyone’s competing with everyone else. their friends, their families, even strangers online.

But the truth is love starts where the ego ends.

When you fall in love with someone, the sparks knock your ego right out of you.

But the less those sparks burn, the more your ego creeps back in.

And this is my main point, No one would be jealous of someone they truly love.

Sure, you might not be happy if your partner gets a job offer that means moving across the country, but that’s not jealousy, that’s insecurity. That’s you worried about what it means for your relationship.

Where there is jealousy, there is no love.

[Ask April Masini]

Your memories of your wife won’t just vanish into thin air. What did you think?

You spent a chunk of your life with this person every single day, so of course you’re going to remember her when you do the things you did together, even something as simple as waking up, because you woke up beside this person every morning for years.

But you need to always remind yourself that no two people are the same. Expecting some new woman to be like your ex is not realistic, it’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to you either.

And guess what? You’re not even the same guy your ex met anymore.

We all change. Life happens to us and it changes us, and that’s the beautiful part of life and love.

So open your heart to a new experience and stop comparing everyone to what you had before.

[Ask April Masini]

If you feel you aren’t ready, then you aren’t ready. Simple as that. You don’t have to force yourself into anything.

Nothing is going to click until you feel it from deep inside. And you’re going to meet the person who’s going to unlock that part of you when you least expect it. 😉

Take your time, dear.

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