[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you already know the answer to your question. My question to you is why are you second-guessing yourself? Something is telling you things aren

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Well, that’s a great question — so great I’ve written a book on the topic!

However, first things first. You say you’re terrible at dating… If this is true and you haven’t already done so, I strongly recommend that you pick up my book [b]Think & Date Like A Man [/b](you can get it right here on AskApril.com or in any local book store or online bookseller.) — then read it and live it! You will never feel like you are bad at dating again!

In the meantime, I will address your question about First Dates.

#1 – Everyone, and especially men, love to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Use the first date to find out as much as you can about him… his accomplishments, his family, sports he likes, etc. Try to [b]focus in on traits and qualities that make him unique. [/b]

NOTE: Anything unique you can compliment him on will be greatly appreciated as men rarely receive compliments.

In short, ask him about him and he will think you’re the most interesting, most charming and best conversationalist he’s ever met. (There will be plenty of time for him to learn about you on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th dates.)

#2 – Never speak badly about your ex. While few will admit it this is a red flag… Most guys will assume that you’ll say bad things about them should it “not work out”. If he asks you about your ex, try to think of something nice to say. If you can’t, tell him you’ll discuss you ex later… you’re more interested in getting to know him.

#3 – No sex on the first date. Why not? Because if you have sex on the first date (or before there

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You sound like a terrific guy! And terrific guys are worth something. It’s time to bite the bullet and ask her out

[April Masini, your AskApril]

My first question is, was it suspicion or intuition?

My next question is, why are you second-guessing yourself? Something is telling you things aren

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I know this isn’t going to be what you want to hear, however I’m going to say it anyway…

You are both very, very young — too young for a serious relationship, and especially one with lots of fighting. In my opinion it’s in your best interests to expand your horizons and look for some one you don’t fight with all of the time. It is going to take you a little while to get over him, but as soon as you meet some one else who is of interest to you things will get much easier.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Based upon what you’ve described, it appears he’s interested. However, that does not mean you should pursue him or a relationship with him. Just continue to be your very friendly self… There is nothing wrong with you smiling and saying “Hi” etc., but do not ask him for his number or his email address or anything or the sort.

If he likes you (for more than a friend) he will figure out a way to get to know you better and he will work up the courage to ask you for your number or for a date.

Remember

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you intend to continue this relationship, you need to bite the bullet and tell him the truth. Relationships based upon lies are living on borrowed time — sooner or later the truth comes out. Based upon the fact that you told him you were 18 a year and a half ago (when you were 17), I assume you are now 18… going on 19?

I have no idea how old this guy is, but assuming he’s within a few years of your age I suggest that perhaps you make a joke about turning 19 this year, and fess up. If he loves you, I doubt one year is going to make that much of a difference to him — unless there’s a big age gap.

Frankly, lots of women lie about their age, albeit it’s typically when they are a lot older… claiming to be younger.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Honestly, I don’t think you should do a thing, not one thing (related to this guy). He has told you he is not ready for a relationship and you should take him at his word. More, you need to start dating other men! If he likes you for more than a friend he will ask you out — especially if he thinks there’s a chance he’s going to lose you to someone else.

Men are competitive by nature, and they want to compete to win. They’re hunters. It’s in their DNA. To deny that fact is to deny who men really are. If you take away the opportunity for this guy to hunt you and win you – by initiating a relationship with him in anyway – be that by asking him out, by calling him or by pursuing him – you are also taking away the opportunity for him to be the hunter he is. [b]When women make themselves too available by calling, e-mailing, showing up everywhere she knows he’ll be — it’s too easy.
[/b]
Remember

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you’ve asked for an honest opinion so here it is…

If he refers to her as his “significant other” then, yes, you are the other woman and frankly he has told you as much when he says he considers her his “significant other”.

My advice to you would be to stop pursuing this guy and to look for someone who is prepared to make [b]you[/b] their significant other.

More, chances are that if this guy is cheating on his current significant other with you, he’ll cheat on his next significant other too.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You mention that, “He said he’d call back in a couple days since he was going to be traveling today.” If you’ve read any of my columns on this topic, or my book “Think & Date Like A Man”, you already know that I strongly recommend that you let him pursue you. So, no… don’t call him and don’t text him.

Why? I call it

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s VERY IMPORTANT NOT TO FEEL PRESSURED INTO HAVING SEX when you don’t really want to. Just because someone else wants you to doesn

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The truth of the matter is that if someone is going to cheat you simply cannot build a wall tall enough to keep them in. One way or another they are going to find a way to do it.

As hard as it is to hear, the only real solution to this type of situation is to ask yourself if you can trust this person or not. If the answer is no, then you’ve got to ask yourself this next question: why would you want to be with someone you can’t trust?

I am a firm believer that you cannot expect someone — anyone — to show any more respect for you than you show for yourself. If you don’t trust this guy because of his lies and dishonest behavior, then you need to demonstrate that the behavior is unacceptable to you and that you deserve better in the only way that matters… by giving yourself the opportunity to meet and date someone you can trust.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

My suggestion is to call her one more time (two days before your date) to confirm your plans. If she does not answer, leave a message and ask her to call you back to confirm the details (date/time, etc.).

If she does not call you back, you have your answer. Do not call her again.

If she does call you back and confirms your date you also have your answer… she was either busy (as she mentioned) or she was playing hard to get.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Well, I think that there are two big issues here…

First, is this statement: “she feels that she really has not done a lot of dating and she wants to see whats out there.”

And the second is: “Our relationship is long distance which means I only see her like every 3 months.”

Based upon your email, you both sound very, very young to me. That said, honestly, I agree with your former girlfriend that she needs to date other people and see what’s out there. What’s more is, I believe you should be doing the same thing too.

Regarding the second issue… Quite frankly, I am not sure why either of you would elect to be in a relationship whereby you can only see each other once every three months (unless one or both of you are in the military)? Long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain and (generally speaking) only work out when one of the parties plans to move to where the other is.

My suggestion would be for you to find someone to date closer to home.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Assuming things have unfolded as you portrayed, his actions lead me to believe he is interested in you as more than a friend. And, assuming you two had the conversations you conveyed, specifically, ” I had told him before that when I like a guy I always tell him and he told me that he never makes the first move because he almost always reads girls wrong, so if anything is going to happen I will need to make the first move.” I suggest that you (briefly) tell him how you feel, but do not ask him on a date and do not pursue him any further.

If he feels the same way, that is all he’ll need to hear…

[Member]

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