[browneyz1968]

Glad to have found this site. Seems to be a realistic approach to dating in today’s world. Sooo here’s my sitch:
I met a girl through a mutual friend this past week. We are about the same age. I am divorced, she has never married. We spent this past Saturday evening doing a variety of activities together which she is ranting and raving about to me and many of my friends. (we live in a small town so lots of mutual friends) Sunday she came over and watched a movie with me. That’s really the extent of our time together so far. She told one of my firemen that I will hopefully be her man now.

Here’s the twist- she has told me several times how much she wants to be around me, talk to me, etc… but then she says she will call me or that I can call her and she either does not call or if I am calling, she does not answer. She has come back a couple of times and said oh, I am sorry my mom needed me to blah blah blah. She is not lying about that part as far as I can tell. She does live with her mom. She moved in with her last year to take care of her since her dad passed away. Her mom is blind and has some other health problems.

Being that I have not dated in nearly 10 years, is this something that’s normal? It makes me feel like she is hiding something or that her intentions may not be what she says. Should I be running for the hills? I have a “date” with her to go to the rodeo for next Tuesday but I am thinking if she keeps standing me up just for phone conversations there is no way in you know what that I will be going out next week at least with her.

Thanks y’all for any ideas and advice. I’ll learn the ropes again……..just gotta get back on the bull and ride.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

My suggestion is to call her one more time (two days before your date) to confirm your plans. If she does not answer, leave a message and ask her to call you back to confirm the details (date/time, etc.).

If she does not call you back, you have your answer. Do not call her again.

If she does call you back and confirms your date you also have your answer… she was either busy (as she mentioned) or she was playing hard to get.

[browneyz1968]

Update-
She called me on Saturday more than once and text me a few times. Apparently she was testing the waters to see what my reaction would be and to see if I am “the same all the time”. When she called on Saturday I was very laid back-she asked were we still going to the rodeo and I said well it depends on if she wants to or not. If not, I’d take my daughter-thank you very much!! She said oh yes she is looking so forward to it. Told her I would be too. Then Sunday she text and said-call you later….looking forward to being with my man. Then no phone call. Geez-is it THAT hard for people to do what they say they will do? Oh well, I am gonna go and have a good time Tuesday and see where it goes from there. I hae a couple of other women wanting me to ask them out anyway…..I just like this one more.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let me know how things are going for you…. 😀

[Natalie Noah]

His mixture of excitement and confusion, which is completely understandable. He’s coming back into dating after a long break, and suddenly navigating the nuances of someone who is enthusiastic in words but inconsistent in action can feel baffling. From what he describes, this woman clearly likes him and enjoys spending time with him, but her caregiving responsibilities and the occasional miscommunication seem to be impacting her availability. It’s not unusual for people with family obligations, especially ones as serious as caring for a blind parent, to have their plans disrupted. That doesn’t necessarily mean her intentions are anything less than genuine, but it does create a layer of unpredictability in her responsiveness.

At the same time, her behavior saying she’ll call or meet and then not following through can understandably trigger doubt. Your approach of confirming plans a day or two ahead is smart; it sets a boundary without being controlling, giving him clarity on whether she’s committed to seeing him. Her test of “seeing if you’re the same all the time” also reflects that she’s gauging his patience and consistency, which can actually be a good sign it means she’s interested enough to want to know he’s dependable.

The key here is balance. you needs to continue enjoying the process and not overanalyze every missed call or text, while still protecting his time and emotional energy. By taking a laid-back approach, as he did with the rodeo plan, he maintains his own sense of control and self-respect. If she continues to show genuine interest through her actions and effort, there’s potential for a meaningful connection, but if the inconsistencies persist, he should trust his instincts and be ready to move on without guilt. It’s all about gauging whether her actions match her words over time.

[Member]

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