[nickle_3536]

I don’t understand why you think men and women can’t be friends or why a friend can’t be a love interest at the same time. I’ve had a lot of friends that were women. In fact, most of my friends have always been women. My best friend, who I’ve known for 13 years, is a woman. And even though being with her, even thinking about her, does cause me heartbreak, doesn’t mean she’s not an amazing friend. She’s been a great friend to me, maybe that’s why I’ve fallen for her. It’s not like she’s doing it intentionally. I’m not trying to take the easy way out, believe me I want to ask her out. I just don’t understand your logic. It’s not that you don’t make some good points, but some just seem crazy to me. I’ve never heard of asking someone out when they already have boyfriend/girlfriend. That’s basically asking them to cheat on someone they’re supposed to be being faithful to. That doesn’t seem right to me at all.

[nickle_3536]

Can’t someone be both a friend and a love interest? Afterall, they say the best relationships begin as friendships. They also say when you get married you marry your best friend. Yes I care about her a lot as more than a friend, but I’m also happy for her that she’s happy. Her friendship means the world to me and I would do anything for her. Of course I want her to be happy and I’m happy for her that she’s happy, I just wish the guy she was happy with was me. I have accepted the fact I want to date her, the second I started liking her as more than a friend. You say to ask her out, but isn’t that wrong given that she has a boyfriend? Also, if she says no I risk losing not only a love interest but an amazing friend. It’s a two part problem.

[nickle_3536]

I have a very good friend who I love to death but I also care about her very much as more than a friend. She’s beautiful, kind, caring, funny, very smart, sarcastic (in a good way), has similar interests, and is an amazing friend. She’s literally everything I’m looking for, and could ever want in a girl. Unfortunately she has a boyfriend and every time I’m around her I love being with her but it hurts so much at the same time. We’re both volunteers at a local museum and have fallen into the same group of friends there and we all went out to dinner last week and she started talking about her boyfriend, who I have met before. She said they just celebrated their six month anniversary and are in love. Is the only thing I can do is suffer through a broken heart? I’d love to be able to be honest with her and tell her how I feel but I know that I would be risking pushing her away and losing her friendship, which would break my heart even more. What should I do? How do I know if she has the same kind of feelings for me? Thank you.

[nickle_3536]

That’s just it, I feel like the nice guy is who I am. I don’t know what it means to not be nice. I don’t even know why women don’t like nice guys. What’s wrong with being a nice guy? Don’t women want guys that are gonna treat them right?

I’m perpetually available and extremely desperate. I try not to let it show but it’s not easy. I don’t feel like I’m attractive to women. I feel like I’m the guy they take one look at and turn away. I’ve been told that I’m good looking, but I don’t feel like it. I’m not tall, 5’6″, I’m average so I’m not fat but I’m not “ripped” and of course have no self confidence whatsoever. It’s so hard for me to have self confidence when every time I turn around women are making a big deal over people like Ryan Reynolds, Bradley Cooper, Johnny Depp, James Franco, etc. and every time I turn around they’re going out with people just like them, the pretty boys, which there’s no way in hell I can compete with. Sorry if that seems like a ridiculous statement but that’s just my observation.

As far as the things you suggested, I’m in no way athletic at all, so I’m not good at sports. I have my bachelor’s in history and master’s in American History and haven’t been able to find a job in my field. I’m going on 29 and I’m a security guard, I don’t think that qualifies as being successful in work. I’ve only had one girlfriend, and we broke up 7 1/2 years ago, and that wasn’t even a real relationship (long story). So I’m not successful in relationships. What am I successful in? What do I have to be confident about? The one thing I have, besides moderate good looks, is my intelligence, but if I can’t get a woman to talk to me long enough to see that, then what good is it?

I’m not bad looking, but I’m no pretty boy, I’m not “tall, dark, and handsome,” so how do I get a girl to take a damn second look at me, to give me a chance and realize how smart I am and how much potential I have? So many women complain about guys being shallow but it seems like so many women are shallow themselves. It seems to me like they’re hypocritical.

This might be a challenge for you, but again any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

[Member]

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