[cantthinkofaname]

Thanks for everything, im talking to her now. She told me shes simply confused and doesnt want a relationship with anyone at the moment, but does have feelings for me. The uniqueness I love so much about her makes it hard to understand her, I guess. Thank you so much for helping, I probably would have waited like an idiot and lost her forever if not for you.

And yes, im looking for a second job so I can get there quicker

[cantthinkofaname]

Her eating habits are based on her depression. We share everything, I want really comfortable sharing some details about her with a stranger but I guess it’s nevessary for you to see the whole picture.

Deep down, im nocturnal and a bit of a hermit by choice, my work schedule simply makes the alerting pattern harder to break away from. She is as much a hermit as me, and I believe her when she assured me theres no other guy.

Trust me, theres nothing I would love more than to jump on a plane and be there tomorrow, but december was set aside because that’s the earliest I could have enough money for tickets and accommodation. So is there anything else I can do? I want to pick up the phone right now and tall to her is there anything I can say? Or just wing it? I was hoping this break would let her miss me, I guess. That’s what I get for taking advice from men, my number one rule is usually to avoid games like that

[cantthinkofaname]

First off, thanks for the reply.

She has had borderline eating disorders for as long as I have known her, despite being absolutely beautiful, she always wishes to be thinner.

I know her family, and we have mutual friends, because we are all gamers. Thats how we met, with large groups in voice chat playing xbox. Probabky sounds stupid to someone who doesn’t do it, but it works. In my job I only really get to socialize with drunks, and am forced into a nocturnal sleeping pattern. I live in a relatively small town with not much to do at night time, so I spend a lot of timing playing games with her father (a paramedic) or older sister. Her whole family are night people. And her older sister met her own boyfriend the same way. He now lives with them.

Thank you for opening my eyes to the dating thing. Thats why I planned the holiday to meet her in december, but I know I should have visited sooner. Australias a big place and its a 4 day drive to see her. I was having troubles with work last year, and was also kind of afraid of going down there just to see her if she didnt have feelings for me, and losing the friendship as well if I messed up.

Do you think there’s a way I can fix this? To bring up the dating thing somehow despite her already having told me we’re just friends now? Is the break a good idea? I’m terrified that while I’m here talking she’s off realizing she doesn’t care that I’m gone. I know thats just paranoia, which im not usually prone to, but I guess its easy to be paranoid in situations like this.

[cantthinkofaname]

I know the usual response people give to a situation like this, with both the age and the distance that separates us, would be “Give up, its impossible”. I have spent my whole life proving people wrong when they say something cant be done, so giving up on the most important thing of all is not an option. And challenges make it so much more meaningful in the long run if it does work, in my opinion.

[cantthinkofaname]

We have never actually met each other in real life, I think that may be one of the main reasons for everything. I was really looking forward to visiting her in december.

I didn’t want to say our our ages, im 26 and she’s 18. I guess people are judgemental and there’s nothing I can say to stop that, but know im not some kind of predator. I have never been interested in someone more than two years younger than me before, and it is one of the reasons I was determined to put aside my feelings for so long, until she admitted she had them as well just a month ago. We had discussed the age difference before and both said we were fine with it. Frankly, im not here to be judged and I felt that anyone who does so probably won’t try helping me.

I guess my main questions are:
– Was I right to suggest a break? I know she was crying and emotional last time we spoke, and it tears me in half to know she’s in pain, even if I am too.
– Should I just give her space?
– How can I know whether she has lost her feelings for me or is just letting her issues hold her back? I don’t want to pressure her of course, as pressuring someone into a relationship seems scummy and doomed to fail.
– Is it wise, for now, to just continue to be her friend and support her, and hope she changes her mind again later?

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