[jakesum]

thanks for the quick response

i should have mentioned this in the previous post, but she mentioned that she wants to just stay single for the summer since she just got out of a long relationship and is trying to figure out what she wants for herself. i definitely want to take her on a date, but i’m not sure how she would react to it right now. i don’t want to scare her or come across too strong too early, that’s killed me in the past with relationships. but at the same time, i don’t know what’s going to happen with her and her ex because they’re hanging out regularly. i want her to know how i stand without making a bad move. we’ve talked about definitely hanging out more over the summer and possibly going to a concert or two, do you think asking for a simple date could scare her?

[jakesum]

This girl and situation is completely unrelated to the girl mentioned above… I just don’t know what move to make.

i just finished my freshman year in college, and a girl that i was pretty good friends with in high school that i had a big crush on just broke up with her long-term boyfriend about a month and a half ago. they’re still friends, they’re hanging out regularly still i guess. she knows i had a crush on her and she even told me that before she was with her (at the time) boyfriend, she liked me as well. last night, her and i were hanging out for a long time, just walking around town and talking for hours on end. it was great! it was the first time i’d really hung out with her and talked to her since high school ended. she broke up with her boyfriend because the relationship stopped exciting her and she wasn’t sure what she wanted. she just didn’t enjoy the relationship anymore. i asked her last night if it’s a possibility they might get back together, and she said it’s probably unlikely even though they’re still friends.

she goes to the university that i’ll be transferring to in about a year, so until then we won’t be able to hang out much other than when she’s here or when i drive down there. i really like her and i could definitely imagine being with her. we gel so well. of course, i don’t want to rush into anything or try to pressure her since she just got out of a serious relationship and i can wait. i want her to know that i still like her, but i’m not sure if right now is the right time to tell her. but if i wait too long then it could end up being too late. should i just casually tell her that i’m in no rush but i still like her? i really want her to know!

[jakesum]

I know what I’m going to do…

I have a problem with getting my heart wrapped around girls way too soon. This is what happened with this girl. And even though I kind of got my heart broken, I don’t believe she did anything wrong, it was just a bad situation and mixed signals. I like her, but I also really like being her friend and talking to her. Since I need to learn to not get wrapped around girls before it becomes serious, I think it would actually do me good to still talk to her and try to teach myself about my feelings a little more.

Both of us agree that we do not want a relationship now, but who knows what will happen in the future. This is a really nice girl, probably one of the more down-to-earth girls I’ve ever met. She respects herself and wants actual relationships (that’s why she doesn’t want anything with me, we live far from eachother) and I really respect that about her. I don’t want to just throw a girl like that to the curb just because she doesn’t want what I do right now, a fling when she is in town.

I do think that a relationship may develop in the future. But of course I’m in no way going to let that handicap me from seeking a relationship with someone here. Anything that would happen between us would be pretty far down the road. I’m not going to assume anything, I just want to play it how it goes and see what happens. And I mean, I love being her friend and that’s important to me.

[jakesum]

I definitely want to try to meet more people at school! thanks for the advice, it’s highly appreciated. I just need to build up the courage to walk up to these girls and talk!

As for this girl.. it would be for the best if I just try to cut her out of my life. If I talk to her again, every circumstance that can happen ends with me getting hurt once again. I’m not going to talk to her — I may just delete her number off of my phone. I guess if she texts me, I’ll just tell her the truth… that I’m just going to end up getting hurt no matter what, so I don’t want to go further.

[jakesum]

and I go to a community college, so it’s much more difficult to meet people here. I’ve barely met any girls — none that I want to date.

[jakesum]

Thanks for the reply!

I would definitely rather find someone that goes to my school, I’ve just kind of dug myself in a hole and I’m trying to get out and move on. The hardest part of the situation is trying to figure out if I want to still be friends with her or just move on and not talk to her again. If she texted me a couple months down the road asking how I am, I don’t know if I’d let myself tell her I don’t want to talk. It just all sucks. I shouldn’t have gotten myself in this situation…

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