[AJ1984]

These are the best advice I’ve received in my life because I can truly see myself following it. Thank you so much.

Just a small update, I’ve already made the first step of separating with him. Again this came with violence but I feel that it will be the last… I know it’s unhealthy and I must work on identifying why it happened that way and why I stayed. He on the other hand should work on the problems himself.

I’ve already decided to figure out how things will be with the loan that we took, I just have to communicate this with him and have a final closure on the things we were involved in together before moving out far. I have decided to go somewhere far and have made accommodation arrangements.

You’re right. Now I have all the time to figure out how my life should be after this and deciding things for myself. Mr.Right can come later if it is fated and after I learn to control my behaviors and seeking treatments accordingly. I hope things will work out for the better.

Thanks for the time you’ve spent replying to me and showing me some light….

[AJ1984]

Thank you for your clear reply. I understand that it’s important to leave so tat more people don’t get hurt in the relationship. I will do it accordingly.

Just another question. What happens after I have left the relationship? What are the behaviors I should look into changing and how can I get help on this. Will I be alone for the rest of my life after leaving this relationship?

[AJ1984]

Dear April,

Thanks for getting back to me. I really appreciate the time you took to read and advice me on my situation.

I probably must get out of the relationship, however, I feel it’s very hard to do this. How can i leave?

As for a recent update, he actually came back, we had arguments again, but after that we went to church and all was back to normal. At night, he said sorry and we were intimate again. I feel lots of love towards him when i know it shouldn’t be like that.
I have no idea why i’m stuck in this relationship. I had been lonely before after a break up from another major relationship. This current one is my second major involvement and I am scared to be lonely again.

On the physical abuse aspect, it is actually on both sides. I too sometimes throw things to him, slap, punch and kick him when we’re having the arguments. The physical abuse starter with me about a year back in the relationship. Soon, he started responding by physical inflicts towards me back. When i read signs of abusive relationship, sometimes i feel the problem is also me probably due to the high stress i have to be the sole money provider. Eg: I constantly check his phone, constantly question his whereabouts, and i do not like him spending time with his friends as I suspect them for seeing other women/prostitutes etc.

Lately, he accused me of taking away his life(family & friends) and that he can no longer communicate with them because he’s been giving all his attention on me. Another problem is that his family keeps calling him for everything that needs to be done like fixing, physical work, etc which i hate and argue about it with him and it soon becomes a big issue. Is it normal to let a guy to help his sisters each time they call or should i draw a line somewhere and how do i do it?

[Member]

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