[harley_quinnx]

I may need some more of your wisdom!
So we had a bit of a bump on the weekend.
I went a bit girl crazy (by that i mean i went silent and told him i was going home) and seen a message on his phone that made me believe he was sleeping with someone else.
at first i said i had only seen the name but then minutes later admitting i skimmed a message where i knew they had hung out and he has never mentioned X (call her x)
She is a girl he went to school with who has two kids.

he said ” she is just a friend. there isn’t anything happening between her and me or me and anyone else. heres my phone look at my messages. i haven’t been with anyone else since we got together, i’m not interested in anyone else and i wouldn’t do that to you. i’m not that arsehole you where with before i wont treat you the way he did. we’ve been together 10 months and last week when you said about a relationship and i hadn’t thought about it well i have why would i want to mess things up with us?” (at this point i made a joke about this not being off to a great start me acting crazy like this if hes thinking about a relationship)
The whole time he wasn’t even being angry he was being so nice about it.

He told me I wasn’t being crazy, he even understood why did what i did even if i didnt. that this had changed nothing. the whole time he was holding me and wiping my make up and asking do i trust him. at first i felt confused and said i didnt know and he kept saying “after 10 months you know me” kissing my forehead and i pushed his phone towards him saying yes i do and i didnt want to look at his messages.

Me feeling like a big idiot and a horrible person said i was going home because what i done was unfair. but he told me not to be silly and he wanted me to spend the day with him. He dragged me into the town where a big event was happening and infont of his friends he said to me about staying over at his again that night. at first i said i’d think about it when i saw his face he look so taken back i pointed at my clothes and told him i was feeling smelly and had no others. he laughed and said it wasnt a problem he’d give me some. the whole time he was being sweet and in the back of my head i was trying to shake it all. when we got back to his that night after he made us walk back through a park he was so affectionate. when we went to bed and i couldnt sleep he just kept kissing my shoulders or my head and even suggested while he went to work at 8am i could sleep in and he would come back with the keys at lunch for me to go home.

am i crazy to trust him? i feel like he was going above and beyond to make sure i was okay after but as my friend put it i’ve had a very unlucky streak with very bad partners in the past. I want to trust him and i know without the trust it wont work. Just some outside perspective would help.

Also i’m currently waiting on a call back to get my anxiety under control with CBT.

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