[carinefernando]

Hi Miss April,

christmas gift

Few months back i got a with a new friend, one of my clients at work. A smart engineer, in his fourties. He gives you a serious first impression but as you get to know him, you soon realise he is a fun, social seeetheart. He’s preety cool and i am crazy about his friend this young amazing guy.

so recently we met after holidays and he gives me a gift, “just a christmas gift” (he describes) actually a misunderstanding because my colleague/best friend at work got him a present and he thought it was me when i cleared things… was too late, he had given me the gift already… A beautiful fluffy red heart with arms which he bought back home and very well packed.

heartwarming, i hardly get gifts 🙁

Now afcourse i have to give something in return… no surprise here, i dont know what to give.

so i remembered i have this really cool electronic cigar with nice flavours to go along.(no tobacco!)

and i went to ask him. our convo

Do you smoke? he replied no.
me: Because you can’t or you dont want to? He says: just never been curious, i smoke yes but not tobacco,why?He asks. I said: Because i have something really nice i want you to try. That def made him curious. he kept asking about it all day long 😀 but i never gave him in time because he travelled.

He is coming back soon and now i have to choose, i either give him the electronic cigar or a pen (that might be expensive)

my friends say an electronic cigar is not an appropriate gift for a non smoker but i keep on insisting with this because it will save me less i dont have to buy it 🙂 and I dont think the electronic cigar will hook him up but i also dont want to look like someone who offers things that can be addictive. electronic cigarette is safe for me atleast. Oh and I also want to make an awesome impression in his friend.

Ok my dear miss salvation, will you help me decide please ? whats your view with the electronic cigar ? if its a no then any other ideas …

regards,

yournumberonefan xoxo

[carinefernando]

tough… thanks 🙂

[carinefernando]

Dearest Miss April,

Hi again, Its not exactly heart breaking, but it just wont get off my mind and i thought i need some advice im certain i will follow

Back to my friend… i have to admit we both felt attracted to each other kissed once but never dated. he never told me he was getting married when they where about to get married his girlfriend “now his wife” asked me to stay away from her husband or she would quit this wedding and asked me not to tell him she spoke to me. i did what i learned from you, treat her the way i expect to be treated in a situation like that. I didnt think we could actually stay together so i kept my distance and never mentioned anything to him.

So they got married and now he is back, i couldnt speak to him about his wife, i was afraid it would get them into more problemas,he figured things out about his wife calling me and apologised for his wife’s behaviour, explaining to me they where not supposed to get married, it was a last minute decision and a very complicated one.

since then things have been strange, our relationship changed its not like how it was before, i miss talking to him everyday, i miss going out with him and hug him when ever i feel like. He still insists on seeing me but i always come up with an excuse because i know its not easy for him to have a friend like me and i don’t want to do something we regret later on.
But i honestly cant say away from him. I feel this urgent need to make him jealous with any friend i have and to get his attention at all times, i feel lonely and sad maybe because i am not dating anyone at the moment.

I think we can continue being friends like old times but its not going to be easy because:
– His wife is very manipulative and will do anything to keep us apart, like telling him i said things that i never actually said, and so far he preety much has a wrong idea about how i dealt with her, and i never had a chance to explain to him what exacty happened between me and his wife.
– we both feel attracted to each other, that calls for problems.
– its not a friendly honest relationship and it hurts more than i thought it would.

He says he is not happy yet they have been together for 6 years, part of this unhappiness i am guessing is because of me. as he once told me after meeting me, he fell in love with me and things changed with them.

He was very dishonest to me and her and so was i because i didnt tell him about his wife speaking to me, i was afraid it would make things worst but once again as you once wrote, friends should be honest with each other. i guess i forgive him for not telling me about how serious it was and later on his marriage, because i know deep down he did what a guy in love would do. he knew as soon as i found out things would change and they did.

I feel like he was the one who put an end through things by getting married. I know i’m not the victim in this story and all the while aware he had a girlfriend fooling myself by believing we are just friends. after all he was in love with me, i wasnt and he had to move on.

So why do i feel like i was dumped? Oh miss april, should i be friends with him or move on even though i’m not ready for that? if i have to move on any advice in how i should do it without hurting ?

Eager to hear from you

Friendswithtrouble

[carinefernando]

thank you

i will do as you say, tell her that i’m sorry for her problems, but i am
not comfortable talking to her and i wish both of them the best of luck.

i think that is something she has to talk to her boyfriend and not me, dont you agree ?

as for telling him the truth about his girlfriend, i honestly feel like doing that because if i have to move on that means i will have to distance myself from him and i would want to give him a good reason for doing that, i dont want to ignore him just like that but she asked me alot not to tell him about her and that might get them into problems. should i talk to him?

i like him… and after your kind reply, i realised i like him more than just a friend but i am not willing to risk breaking up a possible happy future they might have just for a fling between us.

hmm any more advises … please 🙂

[Member]

Posts