[Km2014]

Re: Confused
Postby Km2014 » Mon Jul 13, 2015 5:28 am

Ok April so I asked here for a second date I picked a place day and time. Her response was “Yes but dont make it entirely set in stone i have to check my planner just in case.” Do you think I’m wasting my time here? Or is there actually a chance? I know shes been going through a lot this week losing the custody of her kid tuesday and she said she went to a funeral this weekend… I like her but the whole vibe is way different now. I feel like she’s no longer interested. What’s the best way to proceed in a situation like this? I mean she’s had it rough lately. I don’t want to be pushy or annoying i.e texting and messaging her but I’m concerned about her but at the same time. We went from speaking daily to hardly at all With all this stuff going on in her life. I just don’t know how to proceed…
Km2014

Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2014 6:46 pm

[Km2014]

Re: Confused
Postby April Masini » Sun Jul 12, 2015 1:45 am

Ask her out on a second date! That’s what you should do now.

You might also want to read Date Out of Your League, a book I wrote for men because it has a lot of advice that a you’re going to find helpful. You can get the book here: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/date-out-of-your-league-april-masini/1016394885?ean=9780974676302&itm=1&usri=9780974676302.

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[Km2014]

Confused
Postby Km2014 » Sun Jul 12, 2015 1:12 am

There’s this girl I have been talking to for a about a month or 2. We would
text each other for hours each day. I finally decided to ask her out and Monday
we had our first date. The entire time leading up to the date she would
constantly message me and tell me how excited she was and how much she was
looking forward to our date. When we finally met up that Monday she hugged me. I
wasn’t expecting that. We went out to eat she drove I don’t have a car at the
moment I’ll have mine back in about a month. After we went out to eat she took
me and showed me the house she grew up in as kid. We then went back to my place.
I was a complete gentleman so I didn’t try to get in her pants, make a move, or
anything like that. We talked and I showed her around she saw my music equipment
and had me play violin for her. We then talked some more she stayed at my place
for about 4 hours. She hugged me again before she left I walked her to her car
and we hugged once more we talked for a few minutes longer and I gave her $20
gas money. She said she’ll take it this time and but not next time this will be
for both. She then asked me for another hug. I thought the date went well. I
messaged her a few hours after our date and thanked her for spending her time
with me. I also told her I had a great time and that she was good company. She
replied thanks for listening to me babble. I messaged her the next day asking
her if she would like to have a picnic date at the park this weekend. She replied “I’m so
sorry I will be out of town by then 🙁 I’ll be in Ohio at cedar point. for my
friends birthday” We shared a few more messages and she revealed she didn’t
really feel like talking. She said she had just gotten off the phone with her
lawyer and he refused to take her case because she didn’t stand a chance at
winning. She lost custody of her son a few weeks back that much I do know is
true. Shes been trying to retrial it to no avail. She asked if she could message
me when she calms down. I told her yeah of course and told her sending many
hugs your way. I also sent her the info to some other legal counsel who might
take her case. She thanked me for my support and told me how kind I was to help
her. I haven’t heard from her since. What should I do? I sent a message Thursday
but it was just a generic “Hi” She never responded which is unlike her. She also
posted on her facebook today talking about how she’s excited for Cedar Point
next weekend … I’m a bit suspicious now seeing as how she told me she’d be
there today… I’m thinking maybe she just isn’t interested anymore? What do you think I should do? What is the best way to proceed? The whole losing custody of her child creates a crazy dynamic. I honestly like her and care about her .” I’ve asked some friends and they said to message her today so I did here’s how that went.

me- hey how are you?

her- Good how are you
me- Pretty good. I wasn’t sure if it was ok to message you or not

her- Yes… You can text or message me whenever lol
me- Well i didn’t know. The last time I talked to you you were pretty upset

her- Im sorry 🙁

me- It’s ok you’ve been through the ringer lately
I was just waiting for you to message back but when almost a week went by I got a little worried about u lol

her- I just get caught up in my head sometimes i havnt really talked to anyone until today

me- Yeah it’s cool. I do that too sometime
quite often actually
Am I disturbing you now? If I am just let me know. I don’t want to bother you or be a nuisance.

her- Never!! You are fine lol dont worry so much youll turn into me

me- Well I it’s hard to gage were people are somtime. Your vibe and aura are still a bit different than usual

her- I dont make it easy lol

me- I’m sure you don’t lol

her- I had an axiety attack the other day it could just be the fact that i am still trying to figure it out

me- See I knew something was off whack lol.

her- Yupp i had a breakdown and now i feel guilty to my friends who were here soo that might be it

me- yeah those things suck. I’ll let you in on secret that I don’t tell many people. A real secret

her- Yay!!

(For some reason she’s always been trying to get me to tell her a secret so I told her about my anxiety issues in the past. I thought that might make feel more accepted and not so alone)

her- Im really sorry you had to go through all that. You seem quite grounded to me i never would have guessed that. I shake a lot not bad but just constantly but it does get me when im angry upset or nervous. Thats kind of scary though i dont want to be that bad at all

me- Yeah that was a really long time ago though.
I’m totally ok now 🙂

her- Im happy you told me. It takes a lot to tell people your secrets like that and i feel honored that you felt comfortable enough to trust me with that 🙂

me- Lul thanks. I hope that didn’t change your perception of me. Like I don’t want you to think negatively of me now. I honestly don’t know why I told you all of that. I don’t know Sierra I just don’t know. There’s something about you lol.
But hey I’m about to to take a shower. Is it ok if I message you later?

her- Yes you can message me whenever you want lol and it didnt change anything in my mind at all

I honestly don’t know what to do. I’ve never encountered this kind of situation before. I messaged her back but still no response. How should I proceed? I want to be there for her but at the same time I don’t want to back off entirely and abandon her. I want to be her friend but I don’t want to get friend zoned and at the same time I don’t want to keep pestering her seeing if she’s ok. What to do what to do?? Thank you for your help.
Km2014

Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Dec 28, 2014 6:46 pm

[Km2014]

Ok April so I asked here for a second date I picked a place day and time. Her response was “Yes but dont make it entirely set in stone i have to check my planner just in case.” Do you think I’m wasting my time here? Or is there actually a chance? I know shes been going through a lot this week losing the custody of her kid tuesday and she said she went to a funeral this weekend… I like her but the whole vibe is way different now. I feel like she’s no longer interested. What’s the best way to proceed in a situation like this? I mean she’s had it rough lately. I don’t want to be pushy or annoying i.e texting and messaging her but I’m concerned about her but at the same time. We went from speaking daily to hardly at all With all this stuff going on in her life. I just don’t know how to proceed…

[Km2014]

Thank you for all of your help April. I do sincerely appreciate you taking the time and having patience with me. I think I’ll count this as an opportunity lost and a learning experience. I haven’t seen or heard from her in weeks no reply to my messages on social media either. Your book has been helpful it made me think maybe I hadn’t asked her out because maybe she wasn’t really what I wanted. The questions about describing your dream girl really made me do some thinking. I have been following the suggestions I’ve been saying hi to EVERY WOMAN I encounter. I’ve even begun changing out my wardrobe and actively seeking opportunities to engage with women. On a more positive note or at least I think it’s positive I’m not really sure. A girl that I asked on date a few months back has suddenly invited me to go out for drinks with her and her girl friends ❓ I declined at first because I’m not sure what her motive or intentions are. I told her I had nothing to wear probably not the best idea but, yeah we’ve made plans to go shopping together and then hit up the dance club. I’m not sure what to make of the situation a few months back she rejected me and now she wants me to go out to the club with her and her girlfriends???? IDK maybe I’m just paranoid and self sabotaging lol.

[Km2014]

Ok so I just sent a request on facebook asking for her number. I also sent her a pm “Hey Sarah how are you I haven’t seen you around lately? I hope all is well. Honestly I really enjoy our conversations together. I was wondering if you would like to have lunch sometime? Here’s my number hope to hear from you”. I included my number with the message.

[Km2014]

Hi April I did you receive your book and I have begun reading it. I sent her message on Facebook it was nothing flirtatious just a simple “hello how are you?” I don’t believe that she has read it or been online for that matter there’s been no new updates on here page. I’m just gonna hit the request her number on button and send her another message.

[Km2014]

April please HELP!! This whole situation just took a turn for the worse. I’ve had five days off from work so I’ve had no chance to speak with my crush. When I returned today I found out that a female co-work had took it upon herself to speak to my crush in my absence. According to my co worker these are the words of my crush “she thinks I’m really cute and that she wished I would’ve asked her out myself. She also said that after seeing my age on facebook she thinks I’m too young for her. “She just turned 29 and I’m 26 but that’s irrelevant. How do I fix this mess? I never told anyone to speak to my crush. All of this is hear say and I don’t know if any of it’s true. I haven’t seen or spoken to my crush since the last time she came in with that other guy from high school. It’s not fair I never got the chance to speak to my crush or even tell her that I had a crush on her. I should’ve been the one who got to break the ice and leave the first impression. Is there any way to fix this? My mind says the next time I see her I should still take that chance and ask her out. I honestly don’t know what to do now????? I’m so lost????? Please help.

[Km2014]

That is true April. I’m changing my mindset this year. My past will no longer be my future. I do have a follow up question. I haven’t seen my crush at all this week. I was wondering if it would be acceptable to send her a message over facebook (we are facebook friends) to ask if she’d like to grab lunch or something? I was thinking of saying something like ” Hello how are you? I really enjoy talking to when ever you come through. I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch sometime?” And then leave her my number. Or do you think I should just wait until I see her in person? The only issue with in person is that I won’t be at work for the few days. Thank you.

[Km2014]

Hi April. Thank you for your help and assistance. I just turned 26 a few months ago. I’ll give you brief history on myself. I come from a very strict religious upbringing in which dating was frowned upon. I’ve also had issues with anxiety in the past (agoraphobia/panic attacks). While I have received professional treatment for anxiety unfortunately they didn’t cover dating… I’m just now getting to the point where I’m starting to feel awkwardly comfortable with putting myself out there. So maybe you can see my dilemma? I’m wanting to date but not really sure how to go about it? Couple all of that with general nerves and a history of anxiety and yikes!! 😮 I really appreciate the link to your book. I’ve ordered a copy and I’m eagerly awaiting its arrival. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of questions for you once I begin reading your book. I haven’t seen my crush lately but when I do. I’ll be sure to take that chance and hope for the best!!

[Km2014]

Thank you for your reply April. I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to ask her out the next time I see her. Do you have any advice for getting the conversation headed in that direction?

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