[Whatthaa]

Aggh you already answered that, sorry… I’m going to make my own plan.

[Whatthaa]

I guess I do realise that both people should take turns in compromising but what can I do if he appeases me when we talk and seems to be compromising and making plans together but doesn’t follow through. Is my only option leaving him?

[Whatthaa]

This is my real question…

How do healthy adult couples make decisions together without one person abdicating responsibility or one person becoming more dominant or controlling? Is there always a passive person who has to compromise?

[Whatthaa]

Wow, thank you, that was a really insightful response. It’s true, deep down I have known for some time that I need to take control and get my own place. I guess I was just hoping that we could do it together. When we have talked about it he seems keen but then nothing happens so I need to face that. I think we were both surprised at how serious the relationship got as like you say, it started out as a really long date!

I can’t go back where I came from. I guess that’s making it hard to know where to go. I know he wants to be out there and I’ve always wanted to go too, even before meeting him. Should I go there without him? How can we work on the relationship if we are in different places? If I get my own place here and he went without me I would be heartbroken and annoyed I waited for so long just to miss out on the next adventure. Should I just drive away and see where I end up? I at least have my own car now…Do I have to give up on the idea that this romance can transition into an adult relationship?

I guess this is why I haven’t wanted to make the decision by myself. I know only I can really answer these questions but it feels overwhelming to face it by myself… I will try and follow your advice, thanks again April

[Member]

Posts