[Sapphire]

I know what you mean about the friendship thing but he has lots of female and male friends and never made a connection with them, so I think it is possible for HIM to have female friends. Friendship is obviously important to him or why would he have told me he was afraid of losing my friendship.

He said to me before that I’m like a second mum to him across the pond and to me it’s like I have gained another son. I don’t think he’s going to develop any sexual feelings towards me as he wouldn’t have said that I’m like a mum to him if that were the case.

He’ll be back here in a few weeks and my son told me they are heading off almost immediately because all he can think about is exploring as much of Europe as he can before going home for good. So I’m sure there will barely be time to pack. Then he’ll be gone for good and as he doesn’t like chatting online there won’t be any more contact.

So do you see what I mean? He’s not in any danger of developing any deeper feelings. The only reason he wants to stay friends is because he’s grateful to me for putting him up before.

He communicates like a mate with my son, slagging him off etc but he talks to me like a man. But I think that’s just because he was brought up to be very respectful of women.

I suppose I just want reassurance that he’s not in danger of developing any deeper feelings for me and he definitely doesn’t have those feelings now. I really don’t see how there would be time for him to develop them.

In fact one time I was upset about an argument with a female friend so when we were chatting I was looking for reassurance I suppose and I asked him if he liked me. He told me I was making him uncomfortable and he would prefer not to have that conversation again.

I apologised and said I was just looking for validation. I hadn’t meant to repulse and disgust him. He DIDN’T DENY he had been repulsed by me which is very telling when you think about it. He just said he’d been shocked and hurt. If there was any deeper feeling there or even attraction he wouldn’t have felt those things.

I said he should just unfriend me and we should keep the chats to face to face and he thought that would be best. Somehow or other though we’re still chatting on FB.

That’s when I started getting worried I was damaging him and now I rarely say anything to him. Weirdly enough though he seems more relaxed now. After a few days of not sending him a message, he told my son to tell me he had written the next instalment of his blog. I still didn’t message him and a couple of days later he sent me the link to his blog. He has even started a bit of gentle teasing in a message to me. Surely that proves he is relaxed. What do you think? I’m sorry for all the detail but he is like a second son to me and he said I’m like a second mother to him.

I’m not in any danger of falling for him and he knows besides that I’m happily married so because of that and because I’m sure he knows he wouldn’t have a chance with me he could never even acknowledge in his subconscious mind feeling an attraction.

I’m so sorry for going into all this detail but I just thought if you knew the whole story and that me even asking him if he liked me was taboo for him and also since I’ve stopped messaging him every day and now he’s so relaxed he’s even started teasing me a bit, well teased me once, but that still shows he’s relaxed around me now. So I thought if you knew all that you would hopefully change your opinion that there could be a danger of him feeling anything other than friendship.

There has been absolutely NO SIGN that he has deeper feelings. In fact there have been several signs that he will never have those feelings.

And yes I do enjoy the interaction but only because we have so many interests in common. Too many to mention but the main thing is we both write. He asked could he read a couple of chapters of my book and read it carefully, praised bits of it, asked questions about it and asked me to keep sending him chapters or the whole thing when it’s written if I preferred. Even my husband hasn’t shown as much interest as that. For someone to go to all that trouble is a really good friend and not someone who is chasing me. I know his friends love him and I’m sure it must be because he’s just as kind to them.

Thanks again for your patience in reading this!

[Member]

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