[angelbear077]

Hi April
I know it’s been a couple of days, but I just wanted you to know that after I sent the whatsapp message, he didn’t reply (gave me the silent treatment) and so I removed him from my instagram account to help myself move on as I didn’t want to be hanging onto hope and I had an inkling something was going on with his tattooist.

He confronted me about it before he left for the USA and sent me long messages on whatsapp once he realised I took him off my instagram (I mainly did it to distance myself from him and focus on me but he’s been trying to get my attention). After those whatsapp messages, he even sent me a Viber message to say he whatsapped me. During this time when I’ve been trying to clear my head and move on, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. However, I often wondered if he has been emotionally manipulative to me because I’ve felt so beaten down and I’ve felt like I’ve become a different person before I met him. Despite him trying to get my attention, I keep thinking about these things I noticed about him:
1) he keeps telling me that he is someone I need
2) He says I deliberately keep starting arguments with him when I’m actually just telling him nicely what’s been going on in my mind before an argument starts. Instead of talking to me, he just shuts me down (either gets really mad or starts swearing or gives me silent treatment-it’s so torturous because I feel like I have to apologise every time and I feel like my confidence is dropping)
3) He says one thing, like “I’ve always liked you. I think I’ve found the one whom I’m meant to be with etc” but THEN he says “I never said I was the one. I never said I liked you” (I feel like I’m losing my mind?!?! I honestly think I’m going crazy here!)
4) Whenever he feels down, Im there for him, but when it comes to my problems, he isn’t that supportive and makes it all about him. Then I end up nurturing him!

I feel like I’m going crazy here. He’s being all nice and charming now (mainly because I’m ignoring him) BUT these things I’ve identified seem like red flags to me…A part of me is saying don’t go back to him. What should I do? Am I losing my mind??

[angelbear077]

Okay 🙂 I’ve sent him the message already. Surprisingly, after sending it, I feel a strange sense of relief and…happiness? I’m not sure if it’s because I sent the message out of love and I suddenly feel good about valuing myself 😀 😀

Thank you so much April for your help. I apologise if the whole thing was long. I just want you to know that you are an amazing woman for helping so many people around the world!! I’m not sure if you get a lot of appreciation from people who use this forum. However, I just want to say thank you again. You really make such a wonderful difference in people’s lives. I wish you an awesome 2016 🙂

Warm regards
From New Zealand.

[angelbear077]

I know he’s going to the USA next week but I kind of feel like I want to tell him this through whatsapp before he goes as I’m in another country on holiday, not in a mean way.

Hey N, I hope you’re well…I’ve been thinking a lot and It seems like you need to go away and figure out what you want and be on your own for a while because I want your happiness more than anything in the world. I just want you to be happy so I feel like you need to go and be alone in order to figure out what you want and I hope that I am here or I am still here when you are ready, but until then I know I need someone who is completely in because I wouldn’t want someone who isn’t 100% about wanting to be with me.

Do you think it’ll be good to tell him this before he goes? And does it sound mean? I wanted it to convey that I value myself and respect myself. Thank you

[angelbear077]

I had a gut feeling he liked this woman more but he kept denying it…it really hurts because with everything i did, i felt he kinda led me on. I now feel it was such a waste of time talking to my dad about him. He accuses me of being insecure but i think he is too because he always compares himself to others and always says “wow i feel so much better about myself now.” Oh gawwd i feel so stupid now 🙁 what do i do if he gets in contact with me again? Cos he can be very sweet

[angelbear077]

Im 24 and ive been dating him for six months

[Member]

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