[bloodiscles]

Thank you for this.

But I have another concern though. I know this is not important anymore seeing he and I are over but I ended up hacking his Facebook the day before the break up and saw message exchange with his girlfriend. I saw that he is confiding in her, but most of the time he is inviting her to go someplace or he offers to bring her some pastries that he baked. He sounds happy in the conversation and I confronted him about it. He said that he doesn’t communicate with her all time. He even told me she was the first one to know about our problem. I am now becoming paranoid because he might not be truthful to his reason why he broke up with me. It’s like he’s getting attention from her. The night he broke up with me he even said, “why does it even matter?” Is it possible he wants to get back at his ex?

[bloodiscles]

Is it foolish of me to wait for him? Because I can’t see myself moving forward in the future without him. I also found out that he doesn’t see a future with me so I kick myself for thinking he’ll come back once he is ready. I am even confused of myself.

I am such a sucker for people who got back from their ex and had a very strong relationship. I often wish it will be the same for him and I.

[bloodiscles]

What I meant “never before” was we did not have mutual friends. He just happened to be a random guy browsing in that site. So I can say that destiny brought us. That’s why I am hoping in my heart that he and I will come back to each other.

[bloodiscles]

Yes, we met. He’s in an hour away from me. We see each other every weekend. We are in this website called Tumblr and I was in my sophomore year in college. The site is like Twitter, with followers and like that, so he me followed around 2010. I just viewed his profile and didn’t say anything. He did the same, he only liked some of my posts during that time. I graduated in 2013 had a job at a school and that’s where he messaged me. We started talking until 2 AM and sometimes I often forgot to respond since I was really busy at work. So usually, I receive two same messages from him because he might think I am ignoring him. Anyway, he and I hit it off since we both have the same interests. It then extended to phone calls. Weeks went by and he told he loved me. And I asked him, “that is really heavy. Are you sure about that?” I admitted to him that I can’t say i love you too since I am not really ready yet. He said was fine by it that he was not asking for anything to return. He just wants to tell me that he loves me. September came and I gave in. That’s when we became official. He even told me that he fell in love with me the moment he saw my profile in Tumblr. His students ask him for his crush and he showed them my photo and even brag to them that he will see me again real soon.

The distance never fazed him. I can see that he was fully devoted . He tells me his future with me; he often ask me when I’ll get married or he would say that he and I will adopt a cat real soon. He even coined the term “partner” for us. Because he said I am not just his girlfriend but his partner to every thing.

So on that day he started with this changes, I am really confused. Hence, the damage that he left in my heart, in my soul. Because of what happened, I now hate the night, the silence because the night brings another new day where I have to get used to him not calling or texting me or telling me he’s on his way to work. It tore me apart. So how can a man like that suddenly became just an empty shell? I am lost and I don’t know how long I’ll heal now that he fully tore my heart and mind into pieces.

[bloodiscles]

Alright. Done. 🙂

[bloodiscles]

Finally retrieved my password. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I asked for an advice here weeks ago about my bf saying that he was confused. I went to his place yesterday and finally had some answers. He said he can’t be happy with someone. Even with me. Or with any woman. He said he sees himself alone for the rest of his life. I don’t really understand. I asked him why did he pursue me in the first place and he said that he thought he would be happy again. He said it’s the same. So this whole time it wasn’t his exes that had a problem, but it was him.

I told him we can start again. Not now but maybe once he is ready. He just shook his head and said “you need to live”. I then asked him, “what now? You are breaking up with me? Because I am not going to do it. I am holding on to this.” He did not say anything. I am willing to wait for him but I told him that sooner or later my patience will run out. He unblocked my number and he replied if I message him. As much as I am glad that I have some answers for his behavior that made me crazy for two weeks, I still don’t understand this whole “I see myself alone forever” thing. My friends told me that he might be saying that because he might be with someone else. I can’t let him and I know this sounds foolish but I know in my heart that he’ll come back.

I even told him that I don’t want to open my heart to someone else. He said he won’t do the same because he won’t let anyone near his heart ever. Sometimes I think he is just trying different types of girls and he uses that “I can’t be happy with someone” to validate his excuse. I also associate it to the fact that he is still young (he’ll be 24 on April and I’ll be 26 in June), and at this age he still needs to mature. I let him be for a while because he is still not okay.

UPDATE: I found out earlier that he was talking to his ex-girlfriend. But there were no intimate messages in there. So I also found out that he told her that he and I are over. That was January 30th. He said that to her, yet he can’t say it to me. The ex was like encouraging him to think long and hard, stating, “Are you sure? Maybe you’re just confused”. And he replied, “Yes, I am sure.” I know I don’t have the right to be jealous anymore, but he’s acting that’s he’s happy. He even asked her to hang out and send her some pastries he bakes.

His dad told me that if we’re meant to be, we’re meant to be. He said that his son still cares for me despite of how he feels right now. He and I just finished talking in Facebook and he ended the relationship saying that he doesn’t need to explain who he’s talking to about us because it’s all over. He said we wants to be alone, he wants to do things alone. I asked him for how long and he said, “until my heart tells me to stop being alone”. I don’t really understand these types of people. In this case, does he still have a chance to be recovered and turn into a man I used to love? After that break up, we were casually talking and I told him that he will never be alone forever. It’s as if that is going to convince him. I am still hoping for him to come back. Because he and I never met before, he was in this website and followed me in 2010 and did not say anything until 2013. So I connect that that we are destined to be together because he’s a guy I found in the Internet and I thought that he’s the one. Then, he turned into this man that has lost his love for me entirely. He left me damaged and all he can say is sorry. I don’t know how long I can live with myself feeling like this.

[bloodiscles]

Done (:

[bloodiscles]

Also, I tols him I would give him all the time that he needs. He did not say anything other than “ok”. He really tends to keep his problems to himself. I was a little aware that he has problems like with his brother, he got sick and was shocked by his hospital bills, and the fact that I paid for every thing the last time went out.

Friends told me that I just have to be patient.

[bloodiscles]

Hello. Thank you for this one and beginning to understand. However, we are not officially breakinh up. He just didn’t answer every time I bring words like “break up” or “give up”. Back then I interpreted it as him being inferior of his short comings. He told me that he used to call me even at 2 AM or he would find a way to see me if our day off from work are not the same. I told him I alright with it, considering we’re both busy at work. He insisted that he’s busier in his former job. I cried to him and told him I am having difficulty with this and he said , “you are not the only one”. He said that he cannot accept that he’s changing. I don’t know if he is usinh the time I gave him to re assess himself.

[Member]

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