[kate94]

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate your advice! He invited me over at his family’s house and I’ll make dinner for him and his parents. I hope things work well and he turns out to be a serious person.

Again, thank you for your very helpful prompt replies!

[kate94]

you mean if he doesn’t ask me after I ask him or in general?

[kate94]

He doesn’t really talk about his future plans. Even though now he wants to get his master’s degree and pursue a different career so he is going to quit his job and focus more in school (one of my friends said that he probably doesn’t want a commitment now because he is trying to figure out his life with school and work). He is also working on a small project with his friend and talks to me about it a lot but other than that I don’t really know about his future plans. Should I maybe ask him in an indirect causal way about his past relationship experiences and if he wants to have a small or big family and stuff like that? What do you think?

Thanks a lot

[kate94]

Yesterday I was talking with one of my guy friends and I was telling him about the guy I’m dating (the guy I mentioned in my first post above) and I told him how he told me that he doesn’t want me to have crazy expectation like marriage. So my friend went on and said “from a guy’s point of view, I understand that guys don’t like to make things official soon before they get to know the girl but If he is telling you directly that he doesn’t want you to expect marriage, then he’s warning you to never get serious and all he wants is just fun.” and he also said “If I really like a girl and even if I don’t want to make things official yet, I wouldn’t tell her not to have serious expectation like marriage unless if I just want to have fun with her and nothing more.” that’s exactly what my friend says and I think he got a point, I mean what he says kinda make sense. It really freaks me out because now I know I love him and I don’t want to get hurt. What do you think? Do you think my friend is right? Should I talk to him again about us or should I break up with him?

Btw, this guy friend of mine used to like me a lot, I don’t if he still likes me or not. So do think that has anything to do with what he said, I mean did he say that because he likes me and he doesn’t want me to be with this guy? even though I think what he said makes some sense.

I stopped thinking about the whole thing till my friend said what he said. Please help me figure out what to do.

Thanks very much

[kate94]

Thank you so much for your helpful reply. I think you’re right, I’m rushing into things way too soon. I’ll slow down, play hard to get a little more, and see if he’s getting serious and weather or not he is the man I want to be serious with in the next three months or so and for now I’ll focus more on my self.

Thank you again. You gave me a peace of mind!!

[kate94]

Thanks you both so much for the advise. It gave me a prospective on what to do. However, wouldn’t be a little extreme to ignore him and reply late to his calls and messages? as JRove22 suggested, because I don’t want to break up with him, I just want to know what he is thinking about me. Also do you think he said he doesn’t want to be super serious because he needs more time to figure out what he wants or he just will never get serious, because of the age difference maybe? Lastly, is continue dating him for now the right thing to do or not? And if so, how can I know (what are the signs) if he’s getting serious about me and if he got career and family plans, as April mentioned, or not?

Thank you again. You time and help are highly appreciated

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