[Marcus king]

It sounds like you’re putting real effort and heart into this, but you’re not feeling that same energy back and that’s tough. When someone says they want a relationship but their actions don’t match, it creates confusion and doubt, just like what you’re feeling now.

You’ve been together for seven months, and by now, you should be seeing some kind of growth more closeness, more consistency, and a sense that you’re both moving toward the same goals. The fact that she keeps choosing other plans, avoids trips, and is hanging out with other guys without much explanation shows she may not be as emotionally invested as you are.

The best thing you can do is have a calm

[Marcus king]

It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, and your feelings make perfect sense. You’ve known this woman for years, you’ve both been through a lot, and when things turned romantic, it naturally stirred up emotions especially since you already cared deeply for her.

From what you described, it seems she’s confused too. Sometimes when friends cross that line, it brings feelings they didn’t expect or are not ready to deal with. She might be scared of losing the friendship or worried that things will get complicated. That’s why she’s pulling back and trying to act like nothing happened.

Right now, the best thing you can do is give her a little space. Let her know that you value the friendship above all, but be honest that you can’t just turn your feelings off overnight. Don’t chase her or push for answers; just stay calm, kind, and steady. Time will help her sort out her own emotions, and it’ll also give you a clearer sense of what you really want whether it’s a friendship or something more.

If she truly values you, she’ll come back around once the tension settles. But even if she doesn’t, remember this: you opened your heart again after years of being closed off and that shows growth, not failure.

[Marcus king]

I can understand why you’re feeling disappointed. Your feelings are valid when someone you care about is nearby and you’re sick, it’s natural to hope for a little extra care or thoughtful gesture.

From what you wrote, it sounds like your boyfriend cares about you, but his way of expressing concern might be more “practical” or reserved. Some people are not naturally inclined to do things without being asked, even if they love you. He might have assumed that by asking “Do you need anything?” he was giving you the chance to request something, without realizing that you hoped he would take the initiative.

This doesn’t mean he doesn’t care; it’s more likely a difference in communication style or expectations.

[Marcus king]

First, I want to say that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. You are carrying a lot right now past trauma, guilt from your pregnancy decision, a divorce, family responsibilities, depression, and a breakup with someone who had clear emotional and temper issues. Feeling guilt doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice—it often just means you are a thoughtful, empathetic person who cares deeply.

From what you’ve described, your decision to break up was completely valid. This man showed patterns of impatience, anger, and controlling behavior, and you recognized that staying in the relationship could be harmful to your mental health and overall stability. You acted in self-preservation, which is healthy. Feeling guilty doesn’t undo the fact that you were prioritizing your safety and well-being.

Guilt often sticks because we mix empathy with responsibility. You may feel responsible for his feelings, for your past decisions, and for your family but you are not responsible for fixing or carrying the emotional weight of everyone around you. It’s okay to set boundaries and say “enough is enough.”

[Marcus king]

You are absolutely right to be concerned. It sounds like you’re thinking very clearly about the kind of stability and future you want, and he is showing behaviors that make that difficult. Financial stress, moodiness, drinking in ways that make you uncomfortable, and not handling responsibilities for his kids are all valid red flags.

He seems reactive rather than reflective he gets defensive instead of discussing issues calmly. That is not a good foundation for a long-term partnership, especially when you’re planning a child and trying to finish school. It’s not about perfection or diamonds it’s about basic reliability, respect, and emotional maturity, which he’s struggling with.

From what you shared, it seems he isn’t able to communicate and compromise effectively. A partner who reacts with anger and blame instead of problem-solving is not going to give you the security and support you need.

It’s okay to walk away from this. You are prioritizing your stability, your future, and your well-being, which is completely valid. Staying would likely create more stress and instability, especially with a child in the picture. Trust your instincts they are telling you he is not the partner who can offer what you need right now.

[Marcus king]

Your feelings are completely justified. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable about your partner spending time one-on-one with someone they had a romantic past with, especially if it was serious. Wanting to protect the trust and emotional boundaries in your relationship doesn’t make you controlling it makes you aware and respectful of your own feelings.

That said, it’s also important to handle it carefully so it doesn’t turn into unnecessary conflict. You can calmly tell her how it makes you feel, without accusing her of anything, and suggest finding a compromise. For example, maybe meeting in a group setting, or being open about what the meeting is about, could ease your concerns.

It’s about balancing trust with your own comfort. If this situation really makes you uneasy, it’s okay to set a boundary but it’s best done with honest, calm communication rather than jealousy or anger.

[Marcus king]

It doesn’t make you stupid or oblivious what you’re feeling is completely normal. From what you’ve described, he seems to enjoy your friendship and the time you spend together, but his lack of response to your direct conversation about dating is a big sign. If someone genuinely likes you and is ready to pursue a relationship, they will communicate that clearly, especially after you laid your feelings on the table.

A few things to consider:
He may not see you romantically anymore. His actions staying in the “friend” zone for over a year, not initiating hanging out, and never following up on your talk about dating point in that direction.

He may like the attention and friendship but isn’t ready or interested in a romantic relationship. Complaining about dating struggles online doesn’t necessarily mean he wants you it could just reflect his general frustration.
You deserve clarity. You’ve been waiting and investing emotionally, and it’s okay to ask for a direct answer so you can move forward.

The simplest way to get closure is to be straightforward: tell him you care about him, you value the friendship, but you need to know if he sees a future beyond friendship. Give him space to answer honestly.
If he says he doesn’t feel the same, it’s painful but also freeing you can focus on yourself and not stay stuck wondering “what if.” If he does want more, great but based on what you’ve shared, it’s more likely that he just values your friendship.

Being direct and asking for closure is the healthiest move for your heart.

[Marcus king]

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like there are a lot of warning signs here. The biggest red flag is that he went to a party with his ex someone who deeply hurt him in the past and didn’t tell you. Even if nothing physically happened, the secrecy alone is a huge trust issue. His behavior with you leading up to this being distant, not responding to your texts, acting differently depending on whether you were present also shows inconsistency and possible emotional manipulation.

It’s normal to feel hurt, furious, and confused. You deserve transparency and respect in a relationship, especially when you’re committed and have already expressed love. Before deciding whether to stay or walk away

[Marcus king]

It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, juggling a complicated relationship at work and personal life. Adam’s concern about losing his job if your relationship becomes public is a real issue, so keeping things discreet for now is important. His withdrawal could be a way of protecting himself, and constantly asking about the future might be putting too much pressure on him. It’s understandable that you’re worried about losing him, but sometimes stepping back can give both of you space to think clearly.

While your divorce is ongoing, it’s best to focus on getting through that process first without letting emotions cloud your judgment. If the company has strict policies, it may require one of you to leave, but that’s something to discuss once the divorce is finalized. In the meantime, stay connected with Adam without making it about the future of your relationship, and trust that you can both figure out a way forward once the dust settles.

For now, try to keep the pressure off, focus on what’s important, and let things develop naturally without forcing a decision.

[Marcus king]

Hi there,

It sounds like you’re going through a tough time, and I totally get why you’re feeling insecure. When something like this happens, especially after you’ve both been in such a positive place, it can feel like a rug being pulled out from under you.

First, yes, it’s normal to feel insecure after something like this. A moment of doubt or a shocking conversation like the one you had can shake your confidence in the relationship. It’s natural to worry that it could happen again. It’s part of the healing process and trying to rebuild trust, which takes time.

It’s also good that you two talked things out, acknowledged the issues, and have been making efforts to reconnect with each other. More sex, quality time together, and a focus on household responsibilities are great signs that you both care and are working on the relationship.

However, you might be feeling insecure because you still haven’t fully processed the emotions around his comments and his temporary doubts. Your mind might still be stuck on those words and wondering if they reflect deeper feelings that will pop up again in the future.

Here are a few things that might help:

Communicate more openly: It sounds like you’ve already been doing this, but keep it up. Let him know how you’re feeling, but in a way that doesn’t come across as accusatory. For example, you can say something like, “I know things are better now, but I’m still feeling a little insecure about what happened. I just need reassurance sometimes.” It’s okay to express vulnerability.

Set aside time to reconnect emotionally: Sometimes when things get busy, we forget to take time for the emotional connection. Maybe consider doing something that strengthens your emotional bond, like a date night or just chatting about the future and what you both want out of the relationship. Reaffirming your shared goals and love for each other can help ease insecurities.

Avoid overthinking and looking for “hints”: When we feel insecure, it’s easy to start looking for signs or reading into things more than we should. Try to remind yourself that this is a new chapter where you’re both learning and growing together. Don’t let past moments of doubt dictate your present. It may help to focus on actions, not just words. His actions seem to be showing commitment, and that’s something you can lean on.

Take time for self-care: If your own personal life (work, law school, etc.) is adding stress, make sure you’re not losing yourself in the relationship. Take care of yourself, too, and remember you’re a whole person beyond the relationship. Feeling secure in yourself will naturally help you feel more secure in your relationship.

Trust the process: Healing and building trust after a breakdown like this takes time. There will be moments where you still feel anxious, and that’s okay. The key is recognizing that you’re both working through it, and you’re doing the best you can. As time passes and you both keep putting in effort, those insecurities will likely ease.

It might take a little while for your security to feel the same as it once did, but as long as both of you are willing to work on the relationship, it can get better with time. Focus on the positive steps you’ve taken, and give yourself grace as you work through the healing process together.

You’ve got this! Be patient with yourself, and keep building on what you have.

[Marcus king]

It sounds like you’ve been patient, respectful, and genuinely trying to make this connection work but her actions aren’t matching her words. When someone keeps saying they “can’t wait to meet” yet never follows through, it often means they like the idea of the connection more than actually meeting in person.

You’ve done the right thing by being understanding and offering flexible, low-pressure options. But after three weeks of the same pattern, friendly talk, vague promises, no real plans, it’s fair to question her interest. People who truly want to meet find some time, even if it’s just a quick coffee.

At this point, you might want to stop initiating plans and see what happens. If she’s genuinely interested, she’ll make an effort to meet. If not, then you’ll have your answer without wasting more energy. Sometimes, stepping back reveals who’s serious and who’s just comfortable with the attention.

[Marcus king]

It sounds like your instincts are picking up on something real his words and actions don’t fully match. When a partner says “I want you here” but doesn’t take concrete steps to make it happen, it usually means there’s hesitation he hasn’t voiced yet.

You’re right to suspect it might be financial or even emotional pressure about the big change. Moving in means a shift in lifestyle, responsibility, and space, and some people freeze when it’s time to follow through.

If I were you, I’d have a calm, direct talk. Say something like, “I need to know if you’re truly ready for this move, because it affects my son and me. If money or timing is the issue, I’d rather you be honest than keep me waiting.” You deserve clarity, not mixed signals. If he continues to stall or avoids planning, take that as your answer. he’s not ready, no matter what he says.

[Marcus king]

Honestly, you’re not asking too much you’re asking for basic respect and boundaries in your relationship. At your age, it’s not about jealousy, it’s about feeling valued and secure.

It sounds like she doesn’t see how her closeness with these men especially her ex and her roommate affects you. It’s okay for her to have friends, but when those friendships start crossing emotional or practical lines (like dinners, advice, home projects), it blurs what should be *your* space as her partner.

If you haven’t already, sit her down calmly and say something like, “I respect your friendships, but I need to feel like your partner, not an outsider. I want us to have our own space and decisions without other men’s involvement.”

If she gets defensive instead of understanding, that’s a red flag. A healthy partner should care how their actions make you feel, not just defend their choices.

[Marcus king]

I get why you’re stressing, it’s awkward and confusing when lines aren’t clearly defined. Since you and the guy never agreed you were exclusive, you didn’t technically cheat. But if you genuinely want something real with him, honesty (done calmly and confidently) is your best move.

If you think he’ll hear about it, it’s better coming from you. Just say something like, “I want to be upfront before rumors twist things. We haven’t defined what we are, but I did hook up with someone recently. I still value spending time with you and wanted to be honest rather than hide it.”

Then let him process it. If he truly likes you, he might appreciate your honesty. If he walks away, at least you handled it with maturity and that says a lot more about you than the mistake itself.

[Marcus king]

Aww, this sounds like that sweet but confusing kind of crush that keeps you up at night. From what you said, it really does sound like he likes you, the teasing, the attention, the prom invite, the little online “I miss you” moments that’s his way of showing interest, even if he hides it behind jokes. Some guys flirt by being playful because they’re shy or scared to show real feelings.

If you want to make your feelings clearer without saying it straight out, start giving him small hints back, smile when he jokes, compliment him sometimes, or find reasons to talk just the two of you. That’ll tell him you’re open without making things awkward.

And honestly? You don’t need friends to jump in yet. Just enjoy prom, laugh, and let the connection flow naturally. If he really likes you (and it sounds like he does), he’ll make a move once he feels a little signal from you.

[Member]

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