[Serena Vale]

You sound like someone who truly loved and trusted him, and that’s what makes this so painful. You thought everything was fine, and then suddenly, you’re faced with something that makes you question everything. That kind of shock cuts deep.

The truth is, he crossed a line, not just once, but twice. And when someone keeps contact after being caught, it’s not a “mistake,” it’s a choice. He enjoyed the attention, even if he didn’t mean to hurt you. That comes from something missing in him, not anything lacking in you.

Right now, he’s trying to make things seem better by saying all the right things, talking about the future, being extra affectionate, but he’s skipping the real step: taking full responsibility. You don’t heal trust with pretty words; you heal it with truth, effort, and change.

Stop looking for the perfect explanation from him. If he really wants to make things right, he’ll show it through consistency and honesty. If not, then he’s showing you who he really is.

You’ve done your part, now it’s up to him. And if he won’t face what he did, you don’t have to keep carrying the weight of it.

[Serena Vale]

He’s giving you mixed signals because he’s emotionally immature. He likes your attention but doesn’t know how to handle his feelings in a healthy way. That’s why he’s warm one day and cold the next.

This isn’t love or care, it’s control and confusion. Don’t waste your energy trying to figure him out. Keep things professional, stay polite, and protect your peace.

If someone truly likes you, you won’t have to guess.

[Serena Vale]

I can tell you really care about this guy, and that’s what makes this so hard. But from everything you said, it sounds like this relationship is hurting you more than it’s helping you.

You’ve been through a lot with him, he’s cheated, left you, come back, and said he’s changed. But real change isn’t about saying the right words, it’s about showing it through actions. And if you still don’t trust him, if he still puts himself first, and if you’re always stressed or arguing, then something’s not right.

You said he’s not the guy you want, and deep down you know that. I think what’s keeping you there is the history and the physical connection, not real happiness. You were strong once for walking away, and you can be strong again.

You deserve someone who gives you peace, not confusion. Someone who shows up for you, not just when it’s convenient. You have so much ahead of you, college, your dreams, your future, and this relationship sounds like it’s holding you back.

If you want my honest advice: let him go. Don’t try to fix what’s already shown you it’s not working. You’ll be okay. In fact, you’ll be better.

[Serena Vale]

Hey, I can tell this one’s been weighing on you. When you click with someone at work, seeing them every day, sharing laughs, routines , it’s easy to start feeling something deeper. Then when it all suddenly stops, it leaves you wondering what really changed.

From what you described, it sounds like you two had a great connection while working together, but since the job ended, she’s been distant…

When someone keeps saying “I’ll let you know” or “I’ll text later” and doesn’t follow through, it’s usually a sign they’re not as interested as they once were — or maybe they’re just not in the same emotional space right now. Either way, if she wanted to meet, she’d make it happen.

You’ve already reached out more than once, and that’s enough. If she wanted to reconnect, she has your number and knows how to reach you. For now, I’d say let it go. Don’t chase it — let her come to you if she wants to.

It doesn’t mean what you had wasn’t real. Sometimes people just move differently once circumstances change. Take it as what it was , a good connection that taught you something — and stay open to meeting someone who puts in the same effort you do.

[Serena Vale]

Hey love, I can tell how much you care about this guy. You wrote all that straight from your heart, and it’s clear you’re not just venting, you really want to understand what went wrong and how to make it right.

Here’s what I’ll say, as someone who’s seen this kind of cycle before: when two people love each other but start expecting different things every time they’re together, it can quietly drain the relationship. You’re coming in with excitement and hope, and he’s coming in guarded, afraid things will fall apart. So it’s not that he doesn’t love you, it’s that he’s anxious, and right now he’s bracing for tension instead of connection.

That doesn’t mean you’re doomed. It just means the energy between you needs a reset. For a while, stop trying to “solve” the relationship in every conversation. You don’t need to beg him to talk about the future or prove that you’re trying. You already are. What he probably needs most right now is to feel calm around you again, no pressure, no expectations, just small moments of peace.

Next time you’re together, try keeping it light. Watch a movie, cook something simple, go for a drive, something that doesn’t need deep talk or reassurance. Let him see that being with you doesn’t automatically mean tension or heavy emotions. And when you do talk, tell him you get how he’s been feeling, that you never meant to make him anxious, and that you just want you two to feel happy again, not perfect, just happy.

You don’t fix love by forcing it to go back to how it was. You fix it by building new trust, little by little, until it feels safe again. So be kind to yourself too, you’re not broken, and neither is he. You just got tangled up in fear and love at the same time. It happens to the best of us.

If it’s real, and it sounds like it is, give it time to breathe instead of trying to hold it still.

[Serena Vale]

Hey, it really sounds like you and your boyfriend care a lot about each other , and that’s honestly the most important thing. It’s great that you’re both being smart about it and choosing to be safe this time. That already says a lot about how mature you both are.

If you want to make it special, don’t overthink it. It’s not really about fancy setups, it’s about feeling close and comfortable together. Candles are sweet, sure, but you can also just make the space feel nice, clean sheets, soft lighting, maybe some music you both like.

Take your time. Talk a little, laugh if things feel awkward (it’s normal), and don’t rush anything. Just focus on enjoying each other and being in the moment. Afterward, spend some time cuddling or just talking, that part matters just as much.

You don’t have to be “experts.” The best part is that you care enough to make sure it feels right and safe for both of you. That’s what really makes it special.

[Serena Vale]

Let’s be real, this whole situation sounds exhausting. You’re out here holding everything together while the man who’s supposed to be your partner barely shows up. You’re paying the bills, doing the emotional heavy lifting, and still sitting there wondering if he’s being faithful. That’s not love, that’s survival.

And then comes this new guy, kind, funny, easy to talk to, probably makes you feel seen again after so long. It’s tempting, I get it. But he’s still married. Even if he says it’s unhappy, even if he swears they’re almost done, he’s not free. That means he can’t give you the kind of love you actually want. You’d always be waiting for him to finish a chapter he should’ve closed before ever pulling you in.

Here’s what I think: this is your sign to pause both situations. Don’t jump from one half-love to another. Take a breath and ask yourself what kind of peace you really want — because neither of these men are offering that. You’ve already proven you’re strong enough to take care of yourself. Imagine what your life could look like if you put that same energy into you.

You don’t need to be someone’s backup plan or caretaker. You just need to start choosing yourself. That’s where the real love starts.

[Serena Vale]

You’ve already answered your own question without even realizing it. You said he calls you names, doesn’t work, doesn’t support you, and made you go through things you should’ve never had to face alone, like that pregnancy. That’s not love. That’s control.

You’ve been the one holding everything together, paying bills, finding homes, taking care of other people, while he’s been taking advantage of your heart. You’ve given him chance after chance, and every time he’s shown you that he’s not willing to grow up or step up.

You deserve peace. You deserve respect. You deserve a partner who lifts you up, not one who drains you or makes you feel small.

It’s okay to still love him, feelings don’t just switch off, but you can love someone and still walk away because it’s what’s best for you. And from everything you’ve said, leaving sounds like the kindest thing you could do for yourself right now.

You’ve already survived the hardest parts. You can do the rest.

[Serena Vale]

That dream sounds super sweet, like something out of a movie! It’s totally normal to dream about someone you like, especially when you’re feeling excited or confused.

But since you’re 11 and he’s in sixth form, he’s a lot older — maybe 16 or 17 — and that’s too big of an age gap right now. It’s not okay for him to call you things like “babe” or say “love you.” That kind of stuff isn’t right between someone your age and someone much older.

You should tell an adult you trust — like your mum, teacher, or school counselor — so they can help make sure you’re safe. You didn’t do anything wrong, but it’s good to let someone know.

For now, focus on friends your age and the fun parts of school. You’ve got lots of time for love stories later. 💛

[Serena Vale]

Okay, let’s call it what it is, you’re in a messy situation that’s giving you scraps of love instead of the real thing.

First, your boyfriend. You’re carrying the weight of everything, bills, emotions, effort, and he’s giving you silence and excuses. That’s not love, that’s emotional exhaustion dressed up as loyalty. You’ve been holding on for five years, but it sounds like he checked out a while ago. When someone won’t answer your calls, won’t make an effort, and still expects you to carry the load, they’ve already made a choice. They just don’t have the guts to say it out loud.

Now, about the new guy. I get it, he feels like fresh air after years of suffocating in your relationship. He listens, he makes you laugh, and your mom even likes him. But here’s the problem: he’s not actually available. Married is married, even if he says it’s “unhappy.” And trust me, that story almost always sounds the same, “we’re waiting,” “it’s complicated,” “I’m not happy.” You might mean a lot to him right now, but you’ll always be the woman waiting on someone else’s timeline.

So what do you do? You pull back. Take a deep breath and get honest with yourself about what you want. Because right now, neither man is fully giving it to you. One’s checked out, and the other’s not free. You deserve something clean. No guilt, no waiting, no half-love.

Start by closing the chapter with your current boyfriend, not half-heartedly, but for real. No one thrives when they’re constantly being drained. Then give yourself time to breathe before jumping into anything with someone else, especially someone who’s still tied to another person.

You don’t need to rush into another situation to escape a broken one. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is just stand still, alone, until the noise clears.

[Serena Vale]

Honestly? I think you’re feeling exactly what anyone would in your spot, torn between wanting to believe in what you have now and being scared of getting hurt again. You’ve been with one person your whole life until recently, so this new relationship must feel exciting but also a little shaky.

He sounds like he really cares about you, but when someone says they can’t promise anything long-term, that’s something you can’t ignore. He’s not trying to hurt you, he’s just being honest about where he’s at. It’s just… that kind of honesty still stings, doesn’t it?

If I’m being real, I’d say: move in if it feels right for you, not because you hope it’ll make him stay or commit more. You’ve already spent years putting someone else first, maybe this time, you make sure you’re doing what’s right for you.

You don’t sound needy or dramatic. You just want to know that you matter and that you’re not a “for now” person. That’s fair. Just keep your eyes open and your heart steady. Love him, enjoy this new chapter, but don’t lose yourself trying to hold onto it.

[Serena Vale]

I know it’s hard to stop wondering if her little actions mean something, especially when you still have feelings for her. But if she’s told you she doesn’t feel the same, it’s best to take her at her word.

Her putting her feet up was probably just comfort or habit, maybe even a little teasing, but not necessarily a sign she wants to get back together. If she did, she’d make that clear.

It sounds like she reaches out just enough to stay in touch, but not enough to start anything real again. That keeps you hanging on, and it’s not fair to you.

You deserve someone who’s sure about you, not someone who leaves you guessing. Try to let this go, you’ll feel lighter when you do.

[Serena Vale]

April already nailed it, she really did. 😅 But here’s my take: this story between you and your ex has been going in circles for a long time. There’s love, passion, history, but also a lot of hurt. Every time you reconnect, it feels powerful, but it also stirs up all the old pain again.

You’ve both had your chances to make it work, and it didn’t last. That says something. Love alone isn’t enough if it keeps costing you your peace.

Right now, you have someone who brings calm and stability into your life. Don’t lose that chasing what’s familiar but unstable. You can care about your ex and still know she’s not the right person for your future.

So yeah, April’s right. Let maturity take the lead here. You don’t have to act on every feeling, especially one that’s burned you before.

[Serena Vale]

I get it, you’ve built this deep connection with him, and it really felt like it could turn into something more. The long talks, the flirting, the way he seemed to understand you, it all felt real. So when he mentioned kissing another girl, it must’ve hit hard.

Here’s the thing: when someone truly wants something serious with you, they don’t talk about other people they’re dating, especially not like that. Him bringing it up was a sign that he’s keeping things casual, even if his actions before made it feel like more.

You’re not crazy for thinking there was something special. There was, but it doesn’t mean he’s ready or willing to turn it into a relationship. Some people love the connection and attention but still want their freedom.

If this is already hurting you, it’s okay to take a step back. You don’t owe him all your time and energy if he’s not giving you the same. Let him figure out what he wants while you protect your peace.

If he really wants more, he’ll show it clearly, no mixed messages, no stories about other women. Until then, don’t hang your heart on someone who can’t decide.

[Serena Vale]

It sounds like things between you two have shifted, and you can feel it. In the beginning, it was easy and exciting. You didn’t have to think about it; you just clicked. But now, it feels like you’re the only one still trying to keep that energy alive.

You’re right, there’s a big difference between someone being busy and someone becoming distant. When someone cares, they still find little ways to show it. And when that stops happening, you start to feel that ache of missing something that used to be there.

It’s normal to hope things will go back to how they were, but sometimes they don’t. Sometimes the spark just fades, and no amount of waiting or patience brings it back.

If you’re holding on more to the memories than the moment, it might be time to accept that it’s changed. It doesn’t mean what you had wasn’t real, it just means it’s not the same anymore.

You deserve the kind of connection that doesn’t make you wonder where you stand.

[Member]

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