[Patrick]

I assume you’re both still young, so why not try asking her out first? That way, you can get to know each other better.
Maybe the reason she sometimes ignores you is because she’s afraid her parents might find out, especially since she’s still young.
Take things slowly and don’t rush. You’ll eventually get to where you both want to be.

[Patrick]

He’s already made it clear that he’s no longer interested in you romantically and that friendship is all he can offer. So it’s better for you to move on.

There are plenty of other people out there. You’re still young, and as you said, you’re beautiful, there will definitely be others who will like you.

Just think of it this way: you’re not losing anything by letting him go, and he’s no longer worth forcing into your life. If you keep holding on, you’ll only end up hurting yourself.

[Patrick]

Try inviting him to activities you usually do so you can get to know him better.

You can also try to find out or research the things he likes or enjoys. That way, you’ll have an idea of what to invite him to do. There’s a bigger chance he’ll say yes if it’s something he’s genuinely interested in and you can both enjoy together, whatever that activity may be.

[Patrick]

What are you more afraid of losing him, or not getting to experience other people?

At your age, you’re not really that young anymore, and you’ve already been together for six years. But if you feel like things are moving too fast, you don’t necessarily have to break up, you can just slow things down instead. There’s no need to separate and go see other people.

Maybe the issue you’re having with sex can still be worked on together. Not everything has to be perfect. Based on your story, your boyfriend actually seems like a good partner.

But at the end of the day, it’s your choice what matters more to you. Are you going to focus on the negatives or the positives—and then work through the negatives together as a couple?

[Patrick]

You were the first to make a mistake, and that mistake pushed her to make another one. That’s not good for a relationship anymore. There might come a time, especially when you argue, that you’ll just keep throwing each other’s past mistakes back and forth.

It might be better if you both take a step back for now and really think carefully about your mistakes. That way, if you ever decide to get back together, you can make sure those same things don’t happen again.

[Patrick]

If he often does this, then maybe you’re not really a priority to him. But if this is the first time it happened, you can give him a warning and make it clear that it shouldn’t happen again because those kinds of occasions are important to you.

It would be better for you to talk about it properly and calmly so it doesn’t happen again in the future.

Your reaction is normal, and you do have the right to feel upset because what he did was not right. However, it’s important that you both settle it in a healthy and respectful way through communication.

[Patrick]

If he truly likes you, then he should be the one to tell you he shouldn’t leave it all to you. I don’t really advise women to always make the first move.

Also, he is currently going through a divorce, so maybe this is not the right time yet for something serious to develop.

What you can do is give him subtle signals that you’re open to him, so he gains confidence and realizes he has a chance with you. He might also be afraid of rejection.

But that should be the limit. Still wait for him to take the initiative and show clear intentions. At the same time, set a boundary or timeframe for yourself so you don’t end up wasting too much time just waiting.

[Patrick]

Is he actually a work in progress, or is he really doing nothing to change?

If he is making real effort showing consistency, even if progress is slow, then you can stay a little longer and observe him. See if he can truly improve not just through words, but through actions.

But if he is not doing anything at all to change, that’s when you may need to consider leaving. Because being in a one-sided relationship is very difficult, it will feel like only you are the one planning for your future together and even for your future children.
It is also important to think about financial stability, because this is one of the major issues in relationships and marriages that often leads to breakups.

[Patrick]

You didn’t mention your ages, but if you’re still young and this is already happening, it might be a good idea for him to see a doctor. Since you said even he is confused about why it’s happening, maybe couples therapy could also help. It might give you both a clearer understanding of what’s going on and possibly help bring back the spark in your intimate life.

[Member]

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