[Vanesa]

Wow, Ask April!
Your advice is really “brutally honest”. You don’t make the girl “poor” and give her sympathy, but rather hold her up in a mirror. Saying, “You lost me after he blamed your private parts,” was incredibly impactful because it highlighted that she had crossed all limits of ignoring red flags. AskApril forced her to move past emotional dependency and become practical.
Until you realize your own value, these “sample” men will keep entering your life, the kind who will throw your phone around and use the “busy” excuse after they’ve used you.

[Vanesa]

Your mind is saying “I am confident”, but your actions (monitoring him in class) are like those of an old jealous girl. If he is still smiling at girls online and hiding from you after 8 years, then that 8-year “rich history” is just a burden, not an investment.
You are failing to be secure because “other people want you.” This is not security, this is ego. When your comfort is based on “I have options,” you will never be able to make a deep connection with a partner. You are insecure, which is why you are checking his phone in class or monitoring his smiles.
AskApril is right that you ask your boyfriend calmly if he has met her offline. Is there any reason to be concerned? And AskApril also suggested asking him, “Have I ever given you a reason to be jealous?” This will turn the conversation around and get your boyfriend to open up instead of being defensive.

[Vanesa]

You go to his house and clean his messy room? Why? You’re his girlfriend, not his maid. He’s a 24-year-old man; if he wants to sleep in the trash, let him sleep. As long as you keep “serving” him, why does he need to be a man?
When he said he was looking at his room in his sister’s new house instead of moving in with you, the story ended there. He doesn’t see a “future” with you; he’s just expanding his “comfort zone.”

The breakup is hard for you because he’s your best friend. But the reality is, you’re a 23-year-old, financially independent woman. You want a partner, not a pet project whose nappies you have to change.
Leave him. He’s happy in the “mama’s boy” phase right now. You want a man who can sit at the table with you, not one who keeps you busy clearing the table. Move on, and enjoy your freedom!
I also agree with AskApril’s expert advice to stop “sugarcoating” and break up because this incompatibility is a “deal breaker.”

[Member]

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