[Vanesa]

If after a year and seven months of being someone’s life coach, the results are still zero, it means that the girl didn’t want to change. Long-distance relationships are already very difficult, and if you have to manage someone’s life from above like a project, then it’s not love, it’s unpaid labor.
You gave her 19 months, but what did she give you? Only fatigue. The truth is, people change when they stumble, not when someone is holding their hand and rescuing them. You broke up with her and gave her the stumble that might actually force her to change, or she’ll find another “rescuer.” But at least it’s not your headache now.

[Vanesa]

This obsession with being a ‘gentleman’ can sometimes become quite boring. AskApril was right to say that being interesting and just being a nice guy doesn’t work. You should flirt, smile, and make your life interesting (with a cool job and fun hobbies).
Wao
AskApril really handled everything with a lot of patience.
She is a real pro! She handled the boy’s insecurities (like the fitness and robot issues) with great enthusiasm. The best thing about April Masini is that she doesn’t “sugarcoat”. When she realized the girl wasn’t worth it, she told him straight up to ‘Move on!” She really guides like a “boss woman” who speaks more with reason than emotion.

[Vanesa]

Saying ‘I love you’ to your mother and friends is one thing, but saying it 4 times to your girlfriend and then immediately saying ‘sorry, I didn’t mean that’, is a straight-up slap on the heart.
I think you should back off a little. Until the guy himself confirms his feelings, the girl shouldn’t be so “available” and ‘affectionate’ either. A little distance will make the guy realize that ‘I love you’ is not just a word, it’s a commitment.
Ask April’s approach is actually based on practicality.
She is absolutely right that if a relationship is going great in all other respects, that is, the guy cares about you, gives you time, and is sincere with you, then you shouldn’t ruin the current peace by chasing just one word (I love you).

[Vanesa]

When that girl was chasing you for 3 years, then you did not see “beauty” in her. Now that she has gone out of hand, the same girl starts to look like a “fairy “? This is not love; it is just a desire for attention that has stopped getting now.
You said that the girl cries when I ask her to leave, it is not because she loves you, but because she has been used to the “presence” of you for 3 years. She does not want to make you her boyfriend, but she does not want to lose you either, so that she can have a backup.
AskApril is right that the more you run after her, the more rude she will be. Move on. She said that rejection is a gift; accept it and invest your energy where someone actually wants to meet you.
I think you should save some self-respect. As long as you remain “always available”, the girl will not respect you. And as for the girl, she has taken the right revenge. First, she suffered from being “rejected”; now she is “scolding” you.

[Vanesa]

Wow, Ask April!
Your advice is really “brutally honest”. You don’t make the girl “poor” and give her sympathy, but rather hold her up in a mirror. Saying, “You lost me after he blamed your private parts,” was incredibly impactful because it highlighted that she had crossed all limits of ignoring red flags. AskApril forced her to move past emotional dependency and become practical.
Until you realize your own value, these “sample” men will keep entering your life, the kind who will throw your phone around and use the “busy” excuse after they’ve used you.

[Vanesa]

Your mind is saying “I am confident”, but your actions (monitoring him in class) are like those of an old jealous girl. If he is still smiling at girls online and hiding from you after 8 years, then that 8-year “rich history” is just a burden, not an investment.
You are failing to be secure because “other people want you.” This is not security, this is ego. When your comfort is based on “I have options,” you will never be able to make a deep connection with a partner. You are insecure, which is why you are checking his phone in class or monitoring his smiles.
AskApril is right that you ask your boyfriend calmly if he has met her offline. Is there any reason to be concerned? And AskApril also suggested asking him, “Have I ever given you a reason to be jealous?” This will turn the conversation around and get your boyfriend to open up instead of being defensive.

[Vanesa]

You go to his house and clean his messy room? Why? You’re his girlfriend, not his maid. He’s a 24-year-old man; if he wants to sleep in the trash, let him sleep. As long as you keep “serving” him, why does he need to be a man?
When he said he was looking at his room in his sister’s new house instead of moving in with you, the story ended there. He doesn’t see a “future” with you; he’s just expanding his “comfort zone.”

The breakup is hard for you because he’s your best friend. But the reality is, you’re a 23-year-old, financially independent woman. You want a partner, not a pet project whose nappies you have to change.
Leave him. He’s happy in the “mama’s boy” phase right now. You want a man who can sit at the table with you, not one who keeps you busy clearing the table. Move on, and enjoy your freedom!
I also agree with AskApril’s expert advice to stop “sugarcoating” and break up because this incompatibility is a “deal breaker.”

[Member]

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