[Mary Grace]

That’s cheating. It’s impossible that nothing happened between them, especially every time he goes there and is high on weed. They’re not trees over there for nothing to happen between them. Honestly, if I were you, I would either stop him from going there or just leave him. He’s just fooling you. Even the crying is just to gain sympathy—don’t believe it.

[Mary Grace]

People really have different beliefs, like his view about marriage, and I’m not judging him because that’s his belief. But when it comes to commitment, that’s important—you can’t be inconsistent with it because that’s where a big problem will really start.

He can’t just be completely free to do whatever he wants. There should be boundaries since he is already in a relationship. If that’s what he really wants, then it might be better for him to just be single, where no one will tell him what to do or point out his actions when they’re already wrong.

[Mary Grace]

A romantic relationship is about intimacy, companionship, building a family, and having children. There are many reasons or things that people look for in a relationship.

[Mary Grace]

You didn’t ruin your chances in the future. Besides, you already apologized—you were just really drunk at that time. And I think he understood that.
Just move on because you can’t really take back whatever you said. You’ve already apologized, and that’s what matters.

[Mary Grace]

Don’t overthink it—just be natural. It’s understandable since you’re still new and you’re only at the stage of getting to know each other. You’ll eventually find your “spark” with each other, okay?
It’s actually good that you’ve decided to take things slowly. Trust the process, as they say. What’s important is that there’s gradual improvement, your bond is getting deeper, and you’re becoming more compatible with each other over time.

[Mary Grace]

Why don’t you give her another ultimatum that if she doesn’t stop entertaining men who clearly have intentions with her, you will break up with her again? You were able to do it before, so you can do it again now. It’s better than constantly having no peace of mind, overthinking whether she is doing something wrong or not.
Let’s say she isn’t doing anything physical, but there is still a chance she could cheat or cross a line if she keeps entertaining other people.

[Mary Grace]

I think since he’s used to friends with benefits, it’s not unlikely that he might still look for other people to talk to. Since it’s a dating app, it usually means he still wants to meet and connect with other girls.

It also happened right when you were about to leave town, so you would be gone. It doesn’t really feel like a coincidence, and I’m not really convinced by his reason that he just wanted the “thrill” of matching.

For me, that’s a red flag, especially since you already agreed to be exclusive. Though the relationship is still early and not that deep yet, he already said “I love you” quite quickly at the start—so it makes you wonder, what more could happen once he fully has you?

[Mary Grace]

I think based on the guy’s behavior, he isn’t doing anything wrong, and it’s not his fault if the girl is being very persistent. Even when you talked to her and introduced yourself as his girlfriend, she still didn’t stop. But that doesn’t mean your boyfriend is cheating on you.
Try not to overthink too much, especially since your partner isn’t doing anything bad. When you confronted him about the first email, he addressed it, and he even changed his number so she couldn’t contact him anymore. It really seems like it’s just the ex who is being persistent, and that’s something neither of you can really control.

[Mary Grace]

Maybe the best way for you to find a more serious relationship is to start respecting yourself more. Don’t give your body to a man too quickly. If they leave because of that, then fine — move on. But if they stay even without sex, then at least you can say they are sincere about their intentions toward you.
You may not realize it, but maybe the reason some people see you that way is because of the behavior you’re showing, and it affects how they value or perceive you.

[Mary Grace]

If his child were still very young, that would be more understandable because children naturally come first at that age. And to be fair, he already told you from the beginning that his kids are his priority.
Maybe you should explain to him that what you want is for the two of you to also set aside time together so you can still have quality time as a couple. Make him understand that you are not trying to take away the time he gives to his children. What you’re asking for is simply enough time and attention for your relationship too.
This may really come down to time management and mutual understanding, because both of your feelings and reasons are valid.

[Member]

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