[KathrynAnne]

First of all, yes, meeting her like that is wrong because you are already married. Don’t use the excuse that you don’t love your wife the same way anymore just to justify it or to do something that could hurt her.

If you truly don’t love your wife anymore, then the right thing to do is to be honest and separate—not to stay in the marriage while emotionally involving yourself with someone else. You shouldn’t give her false hope that everything is okay when it isn’t.

Before you pursue anything else or “flirt,” you need to be responsible, because there is already a person who will be deeply affected by your choices.

[KathrynAnne]

You went on a date, and after your first date she said she didn’t want to continue dating anymore, right? I think it was just her way of politely stepping away and using “being busy” as an excuse. The truth is, she probably wasn’t interested in you after that first date.

I don’t think there’s really a way for you to go on another date with her right now, because it honestly feels like she doesn’t want to.

[KathrynAnne]

Just tell him that even small updates are enough—like letting you know how he’s doing or where he is—so you at least have an idea about him. That’s normal for couples, and he should be able to understand that.

[KathrynAnne]

Maybe he was disappointed because he really wanted to have that time alone with you, and now he seems to be pulling away because of it. How long have you and your boyfriend been together? Honestly, it doesn’t seem like he loves you that deeply if, instead of understanding your situation with your sick child, he became distant and disappointed.

[KathrynAnne]

Well, there you go — it seems like you already know what you need to do. Be careful because he might also be using his condition as an excuse to keep doing these things. Having that illness is not a valid reason to repeatedly cheat on you and hurt you.

You need to protect your own emotional well-being, especially for the sake of your child, who is already being affected by everything that’s happening.

[KathrynAnne]

Sometimes people ask for space because they’re trying to figure out whether they still want to continue the relationship or not, so it’s not impossible that she asked for space because she’s thinking about breaking up. That could be one of the reasons, but it really depends on her since only she truly knows what she’s feeling.

There are also some possible signs that she may be becoming distant. And honestly, you’ve only been together for 2 months, so it’s possible that within that short time she realized some things that only she can really explain.

[KathrynAnne]

For your first question, I think if you matched on Tinder and he’s talking to you, then he’s probably interested in getting to know you at that level for now. There’s no deeper meaning yet since you haven’t even met in person.

As for the second guy, maybe you’re just overthinking it a bit because you find him attractive, which is why you want to check his Facebook. So technically, it seems like you’re the one who’s more interested.

Try to stop overthinking so you can focus on what you actually want and make clearer, better decisions.

[KathrynAnne]

There are really only two choices: either you go back to her and take the risk of rebuilding your relationship even without any guarantee, or you move on even though it’s difficult, because what you’re feeling right now—missing her—is part of the healing process of moving on.

It’s normal to feel that way when you’ve become deeply attached to someone and have genuinely fallen in love. Missing her doesn’t mean you’re stuck; it’s just part of letting go.

If you need to, you can also try meeting new people or finding new hobbies and distractions. Those can help you gradually move forward and ease the process of moving on.

[KathrynAnne]

Actually, you already answered your own question, and I think everything you mentioned are the right things to do. There’s really no guarantee in situations like this — the only thing you can do is try.

I think your idea of not contacting him for now and giving him space is the best approach so he can think clearly and maybe even start to miss you.

For now, just continue the self-improvement you’re working on. But my advice is to do those things for yourself, not just for the possibility that he might come back.

[KathrynAnne]

What you’re going through is really heavy, especially at your age when you should just be enjoying life and focusing on your studies. I think your boyfriend still hasn’t fully processed everything that’s happening, which may be why he’s not talking to you right now.

My suggestion is, if your parents are okay with it, maybe they could take care of the baby for now until you’re able to raise the child yourself, so at least you can still be with your baby.

I also hope you learn something from what’s happening in your life right now — not to make rushed decisions. Always think carefully about the possible consequences before doing something: whether it will lead to something good or bad, whether it’s right or wrong, and whether you’re truly ready for it or not.

What’s done is done, and there’s nothing that can change that now. I just hope you’ve learned from this experience.

[Member]

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