[anabean]

Hi April ! Thanks for the words of wisdom, I knew after a few weeks I’d be able to see my situation with a clearer head.

To clear up a few things, he did by a house, but not with her, on his own and that happened just shortly before all of this. He also didn’t outright say I wasn’t marriage material, but we were in a relationship and he was afraid to ‘put labels on it’ and ‘ruin the friendship’ . He talked a lot about not understanding why he wasn’t married by now, so I know its something that has been on his mind a lot. Really, in hindsight, he was jerking me around and holding out for something ‘better’ in his mind (I know I’m awesome, he just couldn’t see it 🙂 )

To give an update, I have seen him once since then, met for coffee, talked about a few things, I really tried hard and didn’t cry 🙂. I can see much more clearly now that something was going on with him and I was in denial. Also, going over a few of his letters to me, he constantly lies to me. I think he says things because he thinks its what I want to hear, or that he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, but all it does it just annoy me. I will never get the truth from this guy. He gave some lame excuses as to why he thought we wouldn’t work out, I think for him it was just ways to make him feel like he made a good decision.

I did go through the wanting him back, maybe he’ll see how great I am.. etc, phase but I’m past that now. I see now that he could never be with me or treat me the way I want and deserve. No decent girl should have to sit around waiting for a guy to ‘figure out if he wants a relationship or not’. Especially not at my age. I told him I don’t want to be friends right now, and like you said, maybe in time I’ll just realize that this friendship we had has run its course and we should go our separate ways.

So the good news, I started online dating a couple weeks ago, and so far have talked to a few really nice guys and I’m going to meet one tomorrow ! Like you said, this is a blessing in disguise, for too long I’ve let guys make me feel like I’m not good enough. Out of all of this I can see I’ve been selling myself short and compromising when I shouldn’t have. Good love is out there, and I intend to find it !! 🙂

[anabean]

Ya, you are right. I guess right now I’m just trying to come to terms with it all. I originally was upset and angry at him because he started a relationship with someone else before ending things with me. Which I think I was justified in being hurt and cutting off contact.

However, its not good to carry around this anger, and I’m in the process of learning to let the anger go, and letting him go. It’s sad to know that he couldn’t see a future with me, when I could see a future together.

So, right now I’m focusing on spending time with good friends, and doing things that make me happy. I do need to accept that I can have a life without him in it, and there are good things ahead for me, even if they are very hard to see right now.

Every day does get better (cry count today – only once so far, and not as intense!). I definitely feel that I need serveral weeks of no contact which is killing me, but it is necessary for healing. The hard part is to avoid his fb page, or online status, as I do want to try and become friends again at some point, just not in the way we were before.

Hopefully in a few weeks I can post some happier news about good things and that I have moved on. We all deserve the love and relationships that make us happy, and have to remember that !

[Member]

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