[buzzkman]

Hello April,

I’m back but now I’m heart broken. I took your advice and talked to her about this and she said she wants me to formally come to her mom’s house and ask for her daughters hand in marriage. So I agreed to do that in the upcoming months while I get things situated here. Our relationship got back to normal and it was good. We talked everyday, for over 2 hours a day. She was supposed to come here next week for a visit, but I found out something. My cousin is part of a paid dating site, and he found her on there as an active new member. He messaged her while she was online but she declined his message. He told me the next day, and I logged into his account and saw her profile, pictures, and read all her info. Based on her recent activity log, it looked like after she declined the message from my cousin the night before, she called me after as usual and would tell me how much she wants to be with me, and to have my kids, to get married, and preparing to come here next week, etc.

I called her, and she didn’t answer. She responded by text. I asked her if everything was going good and if there was anything she might want to tell me? She said no, and said not to pay too much attention to my cousin. A few minutes later she replied again saying that she couldn’t believe why I wouldn’t just tell her that I talked to my cousin, and that her friend was using her account last night because her friend is ugly and desperate. She then said she is very stressed and needed to go back and prepare for her sisters wedding which was this past weekend (I found out about all this and called her on Thursday). I didn’t reply at all. She stopped contacting me after this point (Thursday). She usually calls 3-4 times I day.

I sent her one last message yesterday (Monday) by text telling her that she hurt me with her lies, and that I don’t know if I can trust her anymore. (Over the course of the year, she has said some things that are sometimes hard to believe, but I believed her because I trusted her. She also had sent me a message once addressing me by another man’s name way in the beginning of our relationship, but she said her friend was using her phone to send messages too. I didn’t think too much about that, but now its making more sense). I also said I’m going my own way and hope her the best. She didn’t reply and I didn’t expect her too.

I’m just laying in a bed of confusion now. I have been talking to her almost everyday for a year, usually more than 2 hours a day.. It doesn’t make sense to me. Only thing I can think of is that while she was preparing for her younger sisters wedding which was this past weekend, she probably panicked and is looking for a quick solution for someone more local so she can settle down right away. On her dating profile, she said she is looking to settle down right away as soon as possible.

So my question is, why would somebody do this? Why would a woman play all lovey dovy, say she can’t imagine life without me, etc, to completely turning 180 degrees on me, without any reason or explanation? She said she loved me everyday, and she would call me every night because she said she couldn’t fall asleep without hearing my voice, and would fall asleep while talking to me.

I’m not really looking for a solution. Maybe just an opinion from a woman of why a woman at age 24 would do this to somebody that she says she loves.

I would love closure with her though, but I don’t think I’ll get it. I gave her a lot of my time and don’t deserve to be shut out like this. Do you think I will ever hear from her again? I’m not planning on contacting her at all anymore.

Thank you April

[Member]

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