[littleitaly716]

well, the family invite makes me think things are PROGRESSING, it’s not quite serious yet. If she didn’t have feelings for me or did not think I had any potential to be in the picture long term, I really do not think she would be introducing me to any of her family, especially since they do not live around the corner (they are a 5hr drive away)

The fact that she has baggage doesn’t scare me. But it does affect me in the sense that I really think it’s affecting her and her outlook on a real relationship. I believe there is big part of her that does not want to allow herself to get attached to someone, let her walls down, and be vulnerable again. I’m looking forward to meeting her family because they will be able to tell I am a sincere genuine guy, which will hopefully justify what she already knows about me, but maybe is not 100% sure.

The fact that she is still actively using her match.com profile has me uneasy, I won’t lie. I want to be 100% up front and ask her about it soooo bad. But if I do I will come off as insecure and pressuring. The truth is I want to know why she is still actively using the site when:
she and I see each other constantly, spend several nights/wk together, she tells me she is not dating other people, nor is she looking too. She tells me things are going very well with her and I, the sexual chemistry is really good, she’s comfortable around me and starting to trust me more. The irony is I deleted my match.com profile 2-3 months ago… and if my profile was still ACTIVE now, she would totally accuse me of dating or looking to date other women!!!! yet it’s perfectly fine for her to still be actively on there??? double standard right? This is probably not the right time to ask her about this since we are going away next Wed to her family cottage for 5 day vacation where I will meet her family. I guess my question how long should I wait before asking her about this??? and what’s the best way to go about it without seeming insecure, needy and pressuring???? Thanks April

[littleitaly716]

hmmm so do you think she is keeping her options open because she knows I am not the ONE? … OR is she keeping her options open because she is still getting to know me and needs more time to figure out if she wants anything to do with me long term??? Keep in mind she was engaged last yr, her fiance cheated on her…she was devastated. I find it hard to believe that experience is not affecting her mindset regarding a real relationship…it HAS to affect her and cause her to “keep her guard up” in some way to protect her from getting attached to anyone allowing herself to become vulnerable.

We only have been dating about 3 1/2 months…. that’s not very long at all… I think if we make it to the 6 month mark or beyond then it might be time to really sit down with her and say listen it’s time to be honest and tell me what’s going on???

Just last week she invited me to come up to her family cottage and spend 5 days w/ her, and while I’m there I’ll meet most of her family… most women WOULD NOT introduce a man to their family unless the think he has SOME potential for a real relationship…in my opinion. Despite the match.com profile still being active, I see the invite to meet her family as a big sign…am I wrong??????

[littleitaly716]

ok that makes sense, so you’re saying I haven’t won her over YET???? The question now is based on how she treats me do you think I potentially could win her over???? Because the signs are there that she does care about me and has feelings for me. She was engaged last yr, and the fiance cheated – don’t you think that has some impact on her view on serious relationships? Which could also explain in part why she is taking things VERY slowly? She did invite me to come to her family cottage – spend 5 days w/ her, and while I’m there I will be meeting most of her family. I’m going up to the cottage with her Aug 17-22nd. Women do not typically introduce men to their family unless they see potential for a relationship, would you agree?

She’s been seeing me more and more as time goes, we went from once a week to 2-3, now we are seeing each other about 4x/wk. We laugh, we do everyday things that any couple would do, sexual chemistry is very strong between us. How long should I wait before I confront her and basically say “what are we doing??” I’m thinking if this continues to 6 months and she still is not official with me, or still has her match.com profile active, I will have to basically call her out on it and tell her how this is making me feel.

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