[lme76]

Yes I will definitely never get involved with anyone that isn’t 100% single. I have learned my lesson. No one likes to be interrogated, but some questions just need to be asked, and I didn’t ask the right ones in that relationship.

When I said he “worked harder at finalizing the divorce”, I meant that he finally contacted his wife (after months of communicating through others), to clear up unattended matters (get the rest of her belongings, change vehicle registration, etc.) that his lawyer had advised him to take care of. Things he was putting off supposedly because he didn’t have the money for the divorce. I truly tried to back off when I found out, but I allowed him to convince me otherwise. I trusted and believed in him.

Regardless, at some point, he obviously made a decision he didn’t want to be with me. As much as I would love to know the true reasoning for that, I know that it isn’t really important. I just don’t get it. How does such an intelligent woman, like myself, get into these types of situations??

[lme76]

I just want to say thank you again for your thoughtful words. I had a face-to-face conversation with him a couple days ago. My intentions were to tell him that this wasn’t going to be my kind of relationship. When I talked to him about the earring, he actually had a logical explanation. There were actually two earrings (a pair), not just one. He told me he would show me if I would like him to. That dresser was his ex-wives (who has been gone about a yr now). The earrings were under blankets that were in top of the dresser, that he gave me to use this past weekend, which would explain why I didn’t see the earrings before. He said he knew they were there and just procrastinated putting them with the rest of her stuff. He just didn’t know what to say to me at the time, and since I didn’t actually ask (just sarcastically commented), he assumed I wasn’t worried about it. I believe him (being that I am a psychologist and was able to look him square in the eye), he was telling the truth. I can’t tell you how much better I feel. I guess from now on I need to address issues I have right away, instead of waiting. Our relationship is now going on four months. In your opinion, when is it “normal” for people to start saying “i love you”????

[lme76]

Hi April,

I am just gonna cut to the chase. This past weekend I found an earring on his dresser. I know it wasn’t there the previous weekend. I asked him if he decided to start cross-dressing, and showed him the earring. He just winked at me. Never gave any explanation. I didn’t question it further because I felt that he obviously didn’t care to explain. Should i just end this now? It’s such a huge red flag!

[lme76]

[color=#400080]Thank you so much for your fast response 🙂 It is very appreciated. Most of my job is giving advice, but when it comes to giving it to myself, I suck at it!

I agree with you. I have continued to see this guy. There are just too many positive things going on in our relationship to end it for a “bad night”.

It’s just so sad that we have to continuously be cynical and protective of ourselves. Because I have a degree in Psychology, I am always analyzing. Sometimes it’s for the best, and sometimes not. I was with the same guy from the time I was 18-30. Dating after that relationship ended has been a night mare. I am genuinely a giving person, and get taken advantage of quickly. This guy has been flexible with my schedule and very understanding of the fact that I am a single mother that has limited time. He never gets disappointed in me, or upset with me. This is the first “real” relationship I think I have ever had and it’s so scary. Everyone in my life that I have been close to has either passed away or walked away, including both my parents. He’s aware of all of this and has been very patient with me both physically and emotionally. I’m falling hard for him, and I really hope my emotional baggage doesn’t muck it up![/color]

[Member]

Posts