Partner with child

Yes, you are being unreasonable. Your boyfriend is being a good father, and a good person by seeing his son every weekend — especially after being barred by the child’s mother from seeing the boy for 3 years. I’m sorry you don’t feel proud of this man, rather than resentful of the child. 🙁 This poor kid had no father in his life for three years, and now he’s got two mothers, if he’s only confused when he grows up, he’s way ahead of his game! The fact that your boyfriend wants to be part of his son’s life (not to mention supporting the boy’s medical therapy with pediatric kidney disease), then he’s truly a good man. And while you state that relationships are about compromise, and that is true, when you date a man with children, and the children are young, especially, the kids have to come first. YOU are the one who should be doing the compromising in this situation, not the boy, who would be seeing 50% less of his dad, if you have your way.

However….this isn’t about your boyfriend. It’s about you. Your honesty about the boy will help you in the long run. Here’s why. It’s very clear that you should not date a man who has children, or wants them. I mean, think about your future with a child or two, and remember that often, at different times in their lives, kids like their father more than their mothers. It’s natural and normal (and sometimes it goes the other way around, too). If you are going to be jealous of your future children wanting their daddy and not mommy, then, seriously, you shouldn’t have the kids. And I hate to break it to you, but this little boy is going to be way less of a daddy’s child than any baby girl that may come into your life, who will become a teenage girl, who can be brutal on the woman in dad’s life. So, if you can’t handle this situation, you’re in for a very rocky road with kids in your life.

You don’t have to look at this as a weakness. In fact, I’d encourage you to look at this as a strength. Not everyone should have children, and if you know now, that you’re just not really willing to make compromises that benefit children in your life, and that you’re much happier if you’re the only one who gets your man’s attention, then honor that! I’m not going to ding you for being honest, if you respect what it is you know about yourself. I’m going to encourage you to respect it, too.

So, break up with this guy — you’re the wrong woman for he and his child, and he’s the wrong man for you since he’s a parent. When you date, you should only date men who don’t want kids, or can’t have kids and don’t want to adopt. Oh, and make SURE you use birth control that is fail safe!

Remember that dating is often a way to find out who YOU are, and what you want from a man in your life. You’ve done that in an important way here by realizing you don’t want a man with children, so that’s something good that will come from this relationship and it’s subsequent break up. Now, date smart, and use that information so that next boyfriend is more compatible.

Good luck! 😀

Even though you thought my reply was harsh, it looks like we got to the same conclusion! There’s room for everyone’s opinion here! 🙂