Your problem is not the stepson — it’s your boyfriend. When you started dating him, you knew this stepson was living at home, unemployed, with few or no boundaries or parenting. Not much has changed except that now you’re the one who’s getting tired of the situation and you and your boyfriend are fighting about it.
Clearly, your boyfriend isn’t doing his job as a parent because there’s no reason for a 25 year old to be living at his dad’s house. It’s great that he got a job after a year, but now that he has income, and is a legal adult, he should have his own place — probably with a roommate or two to cut costs. But this is your boyfriend’s issue — and as long as you date him, you have to live with the consequences.
Usually dating a single dad requires advice on blending families with minor children in them, but adult children can be deal breakers, and I think you’ve got one on your hands. Adult children, like in-laws, can sabotage a relationship if your partner isn’t strong enough or willing to put you — his future wife (I assume) — first and foremost.
Smell the coffee! It’s time for your to start thinking of leaving because this isn’t going to get better.
I hope that helps and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.
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