How old are you both?

Got it.

I don’t think you should get hung up on defining the relationship, especially because you’re both young. If you’re concerned about monogamy, and think she’s still playing the field, wait for the one year mark and talk to her about that then. What you can do to make yourself feel more comfortable in the definition of the relationship is to give act like you’re defined without saying the words. For instance, give her a gift on your 9 month anniversary, and the 10th. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but some flowers or a bracelet. If you want to engrave the date on a necklace or a key chain that you give her, it’s a way of letting her know that she may not be defining things, but you are! Avoid a conversation that leads to conflict over a topic that is less important than the relationship itself. 🙂

She likes you. That part is real. She brings you around her people, calls you a couple, talks about future plans. But she’s also protecting herself. Saying she “doesn’t want a relationship” while acting like she’s in one usually means fear, not confusion. She wants the closeness without the label because labels feel risky to her.

The problem is how that lands on you. You’re starting to feel invisible and taken for granted, and that’s important. When you asked for clarity, she dodged. That tells you she’s not ready to meet you where you are.

You don’t have to force her. Just be honest one more time. Tell her what you need to keep going. If she can’t give that, walking away will hurt but staying stuck will hurt more.