[Bratpatrol]

I’m not really sure where to start, I will try to keep this as much as to the point as I can.
In November 2011, and old friend if mine from highschool got in contact with me, we casually talked here and there, then one day asked me to Lunch. One thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together. that’s when I found out he was married. I did confront him and asked why he was cheating on his wife but he said he didn’t know. He also said he didn’t want to make me feel like the other woman. I basically took it for what it was, we still continued to talk and hang out, but then 6 mths later, I cut it off. Telling him that I could not do this anymore because It wasn’t right. He seemed upset, but told me that he would not comtact me anymore if that is what I wished but to please contact him whenI felt I was ready to talk. And I did, I then asked him if he loved his wife, and was in love with her. He said yes but that they have been having problems. But while saying this is just shrugging his shoulders, he then told me that he did get jealous of me and the thought of other men but that it wasn’t fair for him to feel that way. We decided to still continue to talk & be friends. A few weeks later, I cut it off again, telling him that if he ever was divorced I would hope that he would contact to me. That didn’t last long either. He contacted me and asked if we were still friends. He said he didn’t understand why I was acting this way and that he liked me too.. I then was told him that I felt like I loved him. this time i just let my guard down completely and became totally emotionally vulnerable(which I have to say made me feel like I wanted to vomit. That’s not easy to do) We didn’t talk for a month, he then contacted me. I asked him
If he was only contacting me because he wanted to have sex and he did no.. That wasn’t it. But never gave me an explain room why. we talked here and there. But the whole time, he never said anything about my letter expressing my emotions. Then one day,he asked if I was wanted to meet up. For non strings sex. And like a idiot, I did. I missed him so much tho,& wanted to see him. soon after I started to become extremely emotionally distraught. I tried to talk to him, but he seemed distant. I asked to meet in person, but he kept pushing it off saying he would let me know when was a good time. That beer happened. He blamed work.
finally around December things started getting back to normal, as in he was talking to me. there was flirting going on and sexual
Innuendos. then out of the blue, HE ended the affair saying that it just wasn’t right, that it’s not that he doesn’t want to but he can’t, because it’s wrong and not fair to him nor I. That it’s not just about the sex with me, it’s about his attraction and the connection he has with me. He said we could till be friends and he would call me once a week. But that never happened. Altho I will admit that I had been the one texting and trying to maintain contact. After two weeks I told him I didn’t want to lose him and let him go. That I cared about him to much, talked he asked if I wanted to hang out, get some lunch. He said that even tho we can’t hang out as much it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t think about me or want to hang out. But that he cant be in a relationship ,and didn’t think I wanted something shallow. Anyway,we hang out,Things are good. He tells me how depressed he is, that he breaks down every night. He Then starts comparing me to his wife. Saying what I do, that she doesn’t. I told him that it sucks that he is married and he said he knows & that sometimes he feels like two different people. I then find out that him and his wife are going to Jamaica. I got mad and we got into an argument. He said he never told me he wanted to leave his family, that yes they may be hard to deal with but they need him and he wants to be needed by them. He said that he is only human and he made a mistake and was hoping to ensure what we had wasn’t. I asked him what kind of connection he felt with me and he said a fun, sexual one. But he couldn’t answer me when I told him that he contradicted himself because he told me it wasn’t about the sex. He also says that he wants to help me get through this. That he doesn’t want me to think he took advantage of me. What makes this even HARDER is that I am close with his sisters and mother. I have known all of them since grade school. I don’t know what to do, hanging out with them is too painful,they tell me about him,his wife their problems. so I know he is not lying. But I can’t do it anymore. I did tell them I can’t be i their life at the moment. They don’t understand and ask me if I am ok. But I don’t know what to say.. I am really depressed. I know that he is married, I never asked him to leave or anything. I just am in so deep and I feel like this is bigger than me. And I am extremely confused by him..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Do you have a question for me?

[Bratpatrol]

Sure,I’m seeking some advice on what to do..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You should find someone to date who isn’t married, and who’s available for the kind of relationship that you want to have. 😉

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[Bratpatrol]

I know and I am getting myself out there. I don’t want to be with him, I mean, I can’t. I guess I’m just confused by the things he says.
But the again, I think all guys are confusing. It would be womderful If they came with a translater:)

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Here’s your translator: If you’re confused, look to his behavior to show you how he really feels and what he really means. Forget what he says, and just look to the behavior. There is nothing here that is confusing. 😉 If you ignore the facts and try to pretend a relationship is something other than it is, you can pretend to be confused, but you’re too smart for that. Don’t keep pulling the wool over your own eyes. You’re wasting your time. 🙂

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
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