[Anonymous]

A friend I went to college with has been dating his girlfriend (at a different university) for a little longer than 6 years now. They decided together that they would wait until they were married to have a sexual relationship.
However, during school, he cheated on her several times. Eventually he broke their promise and had sex with another girl.

Now, here’s the honest part — the complicating factor is he tried to put the moves on me at some point; and I almost fell for it, but caught myself at the last moment.
Thankfully, I never slept with him, however I did kiss him (I was a bright-eyed, naive 18-year old, who had never been on a real date before) and that’s as far as that went. I don’t even know WHAT I was thinking, but if I could go back I’d slap some sense into myself. Mind you, this was almost five years ago.
I got my karmic payback for THAT with my first boyfriend (ugh), but after we broke it off I found the greatest guy I could ask for. I have a healthy, happy relationship and my man knows everything about my past and would never judge me for any of it. And, hey; I deserve that! 🙂

I learned a lot about this guy during school, and I realized that he wasn’t a real friend (yeah, ok; a little slow on that one, I know.) Everything he said to me was a lie to try to get into my pants. Over the years, I watched him lie in one way or another to everyone at our school, and eventually he started up this sexual relationship with a classmate. I lost a lot of respect for him as I watched him neglect his schoolwork (in 24/7 work intensive major) to have an affair with this girl.

… I am sure I sound jealous now. I’m not.
I don’t feel guilty about it anymore. I [i]did[/i], for a long time. But I’ve gotten over it; I made a mistake because I didn’t know any better. I was young, gullible and naive and really didn’t know how crafty men can be when it comes to getting laid!

I feel that I would want to know, if my man did that to me.
She is waiting until marriage, but he already had his fun — his “practice.”
She has no idea any of this happened. He obviously won’t tell her — he’s able to get something he wants without sacrificing the safety of his established relationship!

I’m sure there’s nothing I could or [i]should [/i]do.
I have better things to do than to stick my nose in.
Even so, I still feel that she has a right to know.

It bothers me that a guy like that could ever get away with treating his girlfriend like that. The girl he claims he’s waited for, he wants to marry and have a family with.
But he’s been cheating on her for the majority of their relationship, the sexual affair started about 3 years ago.

I feel like every woman has a right to know if her man cheats on her, so she can choose to work it out or get out.

Personally, I think I’d just like to feel a little less helpless, even if I never take action.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t say anything. This is none of your business. This is a matter between a guy and his girlfriend. When any third party like yourself gets involved, it’s called gossip. And gossip is never a good thing. Rumor, innuendo — it’s all the root of dysfunction and problems in relationships, so try and remember that you should focus on your own life — and that wonderful man you have for yourself now — and leave this other woman and her boyfriend alone.

I hope that helps you decide what to do (or not to do), and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook: [url][/url].

[Member]

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