[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend for 16 months. When we met, it was instant that we were attracted to one another and fell in love. We are both single parents with 6 children between the both of us. We want to get married soon and moved into together in the next year. He does everything for the family and puts family first but when he says certain things, it leads me to believe that he will not be loyal long term or that he flirts or has friends that are girls. Meaning that he has friend that he flirts with, maybe goes out with from time to time but there is no real cheating going on. I am not ok with this. This has happened when we first met and we both did it. I went through his phone 4 times east in our relationship and found this. I have done the same thing, not because I wanted to but because I wanted to be “even.”
In my past, I had cheating x husband, so I know all the signs. Lately, I have become disenchanted and I don’t know why. He hasn’t been exhibiting any signs that he’s doing anything but has said things like men mess up, or its nice how men have several wives, etc. Stupid stuff that makes me questions him at times. The main reason why I question is because in the bottom of my heart, I feel like I can do better. I have a lot to offer a man, have a lot going for me and because he has so many issues such as my ability to totally not to trust him, something in me, I just can’t trust this man. He has a lot of family issues and I would be raising a lot of kids if I marry him with a lot of issues. I am very back and forth with this as you can see. There are a lot of positive qualities about him but something inside of me is just telling me not to sign my life away with this man. I don’t know if it is because I have checked his phone in the past (I haven’t looked at his phone in almost 7 months) and seen things that I was suspecting and walked away. I broke up with him 4 times and overtime I was done with him but missed him and ached for him so badly that eventually went back. It is almost sick.
Please help April, I am sick over this.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure if you’ve written me before, but if you have, I remember a phrase you told me he said, “men mess up”. If you are the same person, please remember to link new posts to the old ones so we can all have the benefit of reading your entire history.

From what you write here, this guy is Mr. Wrong. I think you know it, but you get lonely and keep coming back to him. You’re going to have to find some strength to break up and move on — for good.

You have trust issues with him; you don’t like his family issues and you don’t want to raise so many children. These are all good reasons to call it a day with this relationship. I’m sorry, but I’m probably telling you what you already know. It’s time for you to let him go and don’t look back.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go — and please follow me on Twitter @AskAprilcom (no dot) for relationship advice highlights. You can also join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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