[Ask April Masini]

I think it’s fine. Let me know how it goes!

And join me on Facebook! I’m waiting for you! Here’s that link: [url][/url]!

[libra1963]

Hi April

I did it. I waited for ages for him at the train station. Finally got on the same train but could not bring myself to speak to him as I felt it would look obvious.

i found the opportunity to sit near him but did not look at him as he was deeply in him book and I pretended to be although I could not see anything without my glasses!!! I saw a reflection of him in a window and it looked like he was smiling. I think he saw me. I hope he continues to think about me. I chicken out as I did not want him to think I am some lunatic stalker. I got off a few stops before him to look less obvious.

i will be seeing him in two weeks time for my final farewell at the college where I will be presented with flowers. I hope to get to speak to him on this day and ask to spend some time out of college to talk about career progress and “other” matters”.

Sorry I was not brave enough to make this venture more exciting for your readers.

LOL XXX

[Ask April Masini]

Look, you’ve got to do your homework if you want to ace the test! Read the book (you knew I’d say that! 😆 ) and re-read all the sections on body language and flirting. If you give this guy something to chase, and he’s interested, he’ll chase you!

You may also want to consider the fact that he knows about your relationship with someone else, and that’s keeping him from making a move on you. It may be time to clean house and start out fresh, if you know what I mean. 😉

So, take this weekend and read Think & Date Like A Man, and really absorb it so you know what and how to use the information in your real life. And join me on Facebook! That only takes a few clicks. You can become a member of AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[libra1963]

Hi April

Thanks for your reply. I was not sure what you meant by the following:

[color=#FF0000]“You may also want to consider the fact that he knows about your relationship with someone else, and that’s keeping him from making a move on you. It may be time to clean house and start out fresh, if you know what I mean”.[/color]I am coming out of a relationship. Its been dead for some years now. I have not had a chance to speak to my crush about this as work as it did not seem the right place. When he asked about whether I was Ms or Mrs, I was tempted to blurt out but thought, no, keep something back.

When I go into work next week for my farewell, I am going to give him a card expressing my thanks for all that he has done. (If it was not for him and his support and affection – I would not have got through the horrendous ordeal at work. Thanks to him I was able to keep my head up high). I plan to call him prior to the day and ask about further details. At this stage I will see if I can build the courgage to ask him to meet outside of college for a coffee or something. I wanted to use that opportunity to flirt. I would have re-read your book by that time.

Any further words welcomed.

[Ask April Masini]

First of all, don’t invite him out for coffee, and stop procrastinating. Read Date Out of Your League now! [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. I’m not sure why you’re putting off something that can really help you — especially when you seem to want so much support. 🙄 You’ll learn how to get the guy if you read this book — and it seems like that’s what you want! 😉

If you’re in a “dead” relationship, why stay in it? Are you married? You didn’t mention that, but in your last post you insinuated you may be. If you are, he may know this and not want to date you — or he may be confused knowing you’re in a relationship (being [i]in[/i] it doesn’t lend a lot of credence to it’s “death”), and hesitate to ask you out.

Please join me on Facebook — you can find me there — and here that way. Here’s the link: [url][/url].

[libra1963]

Hi April

Just an update on my situation. I have now officially left the college I was working at. I dressed up really smart, had my hair sleeked back and good make up and held my head high as I made my entrance. I had spoken to my ex boss a few days previously to ask if he still wanted me to come in. he was fine about it.

He later asked to see me in his office as he was helping me with an interview assessment that I found really hard. He again gave up his precious time to help me. 😀 Because it was a serious meeting it did not feel right to flirt too much. However I rubbed my legs and crossed them. 😎

After some significant time, Ithanked him for his time and gave him a thank you card that I had carefully written. I thanked him for his time and understanding and really went into one emotionally about how much he helped me. I also bigged him up. Stated that I would liek to keep in touch in a poem and placed a X at the end. This card gave me more flirt power.

My interview is Wednesday and it is in an area near where he lives. He has really been selling the area to me. How much more clues do I need to recognise how this guy feels about me. I do not plan to contact him now. He has my mobile, e-mail address. I have done my bit, I am going to see what he does now. He’s Capricorn. Aparrently they are very slow and you need to give them space and be patient with them.

I feel so god I have now given in the card. I read cards and all my cards are saying that I a going to be very happy and that we will get married. 😉

Any comments welcomed.

[Ask April Masini]

You did great with the flirting. Now keep doing it — with other men, too! Enjoy your new life, and know that you did what you could with this guy and if he’s yours, he’ll come calling! 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all your help to date April – you’ve been great 😉 and your book has been really helpful. Readers please read April’s book “Think and Date Like a Man”. It really helped me to look at myself and make improvements. 😀

I forgot to mention that he did not say good bye – rather “I’ll see you”. (clearly not final) 😉 He has not responded to the message in my card. He knows I have the interview tomorrow Wednesday. Maybe he’ll contact me to ask how it went.

When he was selling the area that I am going to for the interview, it was as if he had been employed by the local tourism office. I mentioned that I may consider moving down there (hint hint). 😉

I am curious to learn more about his domestic situation as when ever I see him he appears non-ironed, nails biten down and in a bit of disarray. I mentioned that I did not feel comfortable contacting him through the college’s e-mail system (hint) but he said he can not cope with e-mails and thats the best one to contact him on. He tried to make me feel better by stating that only his PA can access his e-mails.

Anyway, I will back off now. Its going to be hard. I cant help wondering, now that he is not seeing me on a daily basis whether he will loss interest and soeone else will catch his eye. I let a little emotion go in my card. I hope it will not scare him away. He did on one ocassion tell me how I had “hurt” him as he was truing to help me. I can not think how I did this – hopefully my card has helped him lick any wounds I inflicted. 🙂

I will keep you updated.

[Ask April Masini]

Thanks for your kind words. I’m glad I could help and that Think & Date Like A Man [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] was such a big bonus for you!

Join me on Facebook, now! Here’s that link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

Hi April

Summer is over now. I’ve attended a number of interviews. Cabin crew has been in a holding pool. I am being paid for 2 more months. I am really worried that I am not going to get a job as it is so difficult.

I have left college so I am not seeing my crush. I have not rung or anything – neither has he. I am really concentrating on getting my life back on track as work is so important to me. I am starting to feel quite depressed as I a not seeing my crush – who use to keep me feeling alive and confident

I feel once he has received a reference request, he’ll let me know and contact me that way. Unfortunately, it is so hard staying positive as all the bullying and nastiness I had been through at work.

Any kind words?

[Ask April Masini]

Of course you’re depressed, but focusing that rejection on the crush is convenient — but not necessarily [i]the true source[/i] of your depression. Having left college and now facing a very uncertain career in a difficult economy is a source of anxiety and depression for you — and many other readers. The crush is just a diversion from the real problem which is job anxiety.

I think you have to use your resources to explore other job options and back up plans in case this flight crew career vector doesn’t bring you the job satisfaction you were hoping for. If you take care of this piece of (very big) business, you’re going to feel self-satisfied and the little thorns in your side, like this crush you haven’t heard from, won’t bother you so much.

Go back to Think & Date Like A Man, and re-read it. Utilize the portions of it that help you [i]now[/i]. Your last crush was someone you met in the course of your day to day life. Well, I’d like to see you employ all the Think & Date Like A Man tools and find someone new, available and interested in you in your current day to day life.

I hope that helps you refocus your energy and feel better.

Let me know how it goes — and please join me on Facebook. You may get some inspiration there. Here’s that link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[libra1963]

Hi April

My ex-boss has made contact – just as I thought he would. He remained professional but used my private e-mail so clearly has kept that close to his heart. He asked how I was and the result of a recent interview near where he lived and advised me that a reference request had been received and other bits of information. I felt really happy that he made the move as it had been over three weeks and I knew if I waited he would contact me.

I e-mailed back and thanked him. He is due to send through more info so will leave him to keep running if he’s interested. I am freeing myself up for others but no on else on the horizon. Just trying to sort out my career at the minute.

I felt happy that the wait paid off. 😎

[Ask April Masini]

Nice going!!

Please join me on Facebook. I’d love to hear from you there, too. Here’s that link: [url][/url]. 😀

[libra1963]

Hi April

I’m not sure how to describe him, but my child’s father has resurfaced. He disappeared all summer and then turned up on my door step this morning. He dropped us to his sons school. This evening we was inviting himself around later that night!

We have know each other 26 years. Got to gether 10 years ago. Have a child, yet I have never met his family, never been invited to his house, do not know where he is working now , never talk about a future together – just plodding along. He feels he can just disappear without tellling me and turn up expecting me to have my arms open. Sorry I am not any one’s door mat!! I texted him and told him clearly that I am not married to him! He texted back sounding surprised!

I have had enough. All summer I have been emotionally torned with my ex-boss. We have been in touch via e-mail a few times. I am off the pay roll end of this month. My last communication was to advise him that I hada new job at the airport and needed the personnel manager to do something for me. He passed on the info tot he personnel manager but has not said anything to me about my career decision. May be he’ll do something nearer the end of the month. I havent seen him since late Aug. He has signed up to do the mentoring training in December that I suggested as a way of keeping in touch but I have decided to come out of teaching for a while. I still think about him but as we are not seeing each other its getting cold.

I will update you later this month. somehting is telling me my ex-boss is going to do soemthing to get to see me. As for my ex boyfriend – he’ll always be my child’s father but I cant see him changing or making changes. Me and my 3 children are s unhappy with the domestic situation and pray for change.

Will update soon.

LOL XX

[Ask April Masini]

The problem in your relationship with your children’s father is that you don’t want him to behave the way he behaves and you think you can stop him from doing so. The reality that will help you through this is: you can’t stop him from behaving the way he does. He’s going to keep showing up without notice at inappropriate times and there is nothing you can do to keep him from doing so.

That said, what you can do is to get custody order for visitation so that he is required to show up at certain times, and not allowed to show up at others. I know it’s a drag to do this, but it will help you in the long run and if your children are still young, you’ve got YEARS of this ahead of you, so do the work and get that visitation order.

If both you and your ex understand what is mutually expected of you and in fact, what is ORDERED by the court, then there won’t be so many surprises and you will have some recourse if he behaves erratically.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes — and good luck with the job and career.

Join me on Twitter — you can keep up with me that way, too @AskAprilcom (no dot!). And as you know, there’s always Facebook: [url]http://www.askapril.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=60798&p=66622#p66622[/url].

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