Ending contact was a painful decision, but it was a healthy and grounded one. Over four years, his words and actions stayed inconsistent: asking you to wait, asking for peace, pulling you close, then withdrawing when accountability was required. Someone who truly wants to put you first doesn’t disappear for weeks, punish you with silence, or frame your hurt as the problem instead of addressing the behavior that caused it. Long distance didn’t suddenly become the issue it became the excuse. What stayed constant was his unwillingness to show up in a steady, emotionally safe way.
What stands out most is that he wanted the comfort of you without the responsibility of you. Saying “I don’t want you to leave” while refusing to change is a way of keeping you emotionally tethered while preserving his freedom. That cycle erodes trust and self-worth over time. By stepping away, you chose clarity over confusion and self-respect over hope fueled only by words. That wasn’t giving up that was choosing yourself.
