[aznsstar]

this is kind of complicated. i have been involved with someone for almost 9 years. we have a friends with benefits sort of relationship. but besides that our friendship is like gold. we used to talk every few weeks and now i contact him everyday to let him know i want him. cause lets face it 9 years is to long to be having this kind of relationship. we both been in and out of relationships during our 9 year span together. but we always come back to each other. i know he cares about me because i have questioned him. love im not sure. i have told him a few times in the last few weeks. is he scared to say it? i know he must feel something other then care for these years.

his original plan we just to go and start dating from day one. i didnt want that at all. i know he would be the one. i let him chase me for a few years because i wanted a foundation for friendship. and i got my friendship. now i have to mold him to be my guy.

i also understand that he wants someone to take care of him mentally and i am prepared for that challenge. he works 13 hours a day. no woman to come home to, he lives like a pig. eats left overs on there 7 day anniversary (i even told him i dont want him eating that crap, dont want him to get sick). hes even writing a book series which is due out late next year. he always asks about my son (i know they will be great friends).

im at the point where i am willing to be with him. and he knows it. he should put down his armor and not fight a useless battle. cause at the end him and i will end up with each other.

but on the other side of things i see him looking for answers. i see him posting single ads looking for a friend with benefit situation like him and i have. he doesnt care if women are involved with another man. i told him stop being a d**k, cause what he needs is right in front of him. he knows it too.

so my question to you is how do i get this SOB to commit to me?

i dont know how could he be stupid, so blind. hes my good friend, my homie, my lover.

[btdperson]

You seem arrogant which tells me you are insecure about this guy. His actions are telling you everything you need to know. He likes a friends with benefits situation–what guy wouldn’t. However, trying to pressure him into the relationship will not work. If you think he will stop living like a pig-forget it. You will have to clean up after him so get ready. I find it quite unusual that you refer to him as an SOB, what endearing term does he use to describe you?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Member]

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