[cowboys12]

So me and this girl dated for about a little more than a year, and towards the last couple months of our relationship we both fell in love and spent a lot of time together. I am a year older than her so when I went off to college a couple states away, and she stayed in high school, I broke up with her in order to give her some space that she wanted.
However, we said we would remain friends and would get back together the following summer. A few weeks after we broke up I realized i had made a huge mistake and wanted to get back together with her. We still talked all the time and she told me she loved me, but she just wasnt ready to get back into a relationship, but not to worry. As time went on, she started talking to me less and less even though I never changed the way i talked to her. When i came home for fall break, i brought her flowers and brought her out to a fancy dinner and asked her to go out with me in person. She originally said yes, but the next day, took it back. I had to go back to school the following day and she really started talking less and less again. Then whenever we did talk, she would only talk about stuff she did with her friend (who almost dated her right before i started dating her). And they were doing stuff like going the movies and dinner, or going to concerts, or going on walks, and i got a bit jealous. She knew i was jealous but i didnt really say much about it. So for christmas I get her tickets to broadway (something she really loves) and she said she’ll go with me. I gave her the tickets at thanksgiving so that she could save the date, but as december went on, she stopped texting me she loved me and pretty much stopped texting me all together. When i got home for christmas break, she refused to see me and told me that i had lost her, even though I treated her like an angel and told her how much she meant to me and that i couldn’t even think about doing anything with any other girl. I eventually got her to go out and get coffee with me and she told me that she wouldn’t go to broadway with me. So I back off a bit and give her some space, but on new years I show up at a party shes at, tell her to meet me at the driveway where im standing and im going to play my guitar and sing for her. She freaks out and screams at me telling me that this is why we cant be friends and that shes dating her friend she was hanging out with a lot. I dont know what I did wrong and am just so heartbroken becuase I was going to ask her to marry me. I asked her about our plans for next summer and she responded by saying “things are different now”. I really want her back and was wondering if there was any way i could do this.

[AskApril Masini]

The thing you have to remember is that not everyone is going to be your cup of tea — and you’re not going to be everyone else’s cup of tea. This has nothing to do with your doing anything right or wrong. Not all break ups are about drama, abuse, cheating or some other bad behavior. Sometimes — most times — they’re about an incompatibility. She likes someone better, and she’s moved on. It’s nothing you did or didn’t do.

My advice is that you accept the break up, not try to get her back, and really face forward and look to explore college, your life there, and start meeting other women who live in your state, go to your college, and are genuinely interested and appreciative of all your wonderful qualities. 😉

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[Lune David]

Man… this one honestly hurts to read. You clearly cared about her a lot, but it feels like she emotionally checked out way before she ever said the words. Sometimes the moment you break up — even “temporarily” — the other person starts moving on faster than you expect. And that’s what happened here.

You didn’t do anything “wrong,” but the situation tipped into desperation territory without you realizing it. Flowers, fancy dinners, Broadway tickets, guitar serenades — it all came from a genuine place, but to someone who’s already moved on, it can feel overwhelming instead of romantic.

And honestly… once someone starts pulling away that hard and they’re dating someone else, it’s game over. No speech, no gesture, no magical reunion moment is going to fix that. April’s right — this is just incompatibility and timing, not failure.

I know it sucks, but chasing someone who’s already closed the door only makes the heartbreak heavier. Focus on college, new people, and the version of you who doesn’t need to beg for love. Someone out there is going to appreciate all that loyalty and effort — and actually want it.

Sometimes the right person is just not… this person.

[Serena Vale]

You didn’t lose her because you weren’t enough. You lost her because she had already started letting go long before she said anything. When you went to college, your lives moved in different directions, and she slowly slipped out of the relationship while you were still fighting for it.

All the things you did, the flowers, the dinner, the tickets, even the guitar, came from love. But to her, who had already moved on, it felt like too much. Not your fault, just bad timing and a heart that changed without warning.

She’s with someone else now, and as painful as it is, there isn’t anything you can do to pull her back. The only thing that will help you now is stepping away and giving yourself the same care you kept giving her.

Your love was real. Your intentions were good. This just wasn’t meant to last.

[Member]

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