[jaxie2250926]

A kid and I had been talking for a little while (we’ll call him “Jay”) and unfortunately some things have come in the way of things working at the moment. The first issue was that at a party Jay hosted, a kid that assaulted me showed up with his girlfriend. The girlfriend started grabbing my shoulders and pushing me around. My flight senses kicked in and I got out of the situation, but Jay had to make sure they left. As they left they gave him a conflicting story to the one Jay knew from me about the assault. He became distant for about a week because of this. The second issue was that Jay’s roommate came home drunk one night telling him that “I had told him that Jay didn’t want to live with him anymore and had texts to prove it.” None of this was true. I was entirely sober that night and the only things I asked him about were playing street hockey. Jay and I talked about this and he believes my side on issue number 1, but maybe not so much on issue 2 because it’s his roommate and best friend. I feel like no matter what I say, unless I went under a polygraph test, he’ll always believe him which invalidates almost anything I’ve ever said to him including issue 1. Jay said that he wants to just start again fresh next semester which I think is fine as we will be off in two different directions over summer. However, part of me is torn because I thought I got along with this roommate and I know that when I see him it’s always going to be in the back of my mind. My fear is that if I confront him in a polite way, it’ll cause drama, but if I don’t there’s always the chance he could say more stupid stuff to Jay about me. ❓

[AskApril Masini]

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[jaxie2250926]

what you think I should so with the roommate situation? Am I better off dropping it, although I know that there’ll always be tension, or should I eventually confront it

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]what you think I should so with the roommate situation? Am I better off dropping it, although I know that there’ll always be tension, or should I eventually confront it[/quote]

It sounds like a guy you’re interested in, but not dating, believes his roommate, not you, about a particular story. I don’t think there is anything to drop, per your questions. And I don’t think there is anything to confront, either. In other words, I don’t think you should do either — because the relationship you have with this guy is very casual. You’re not dating him. It appears that you like him, but it isn’t clear from what you’ve written that he’s interested in you. In fact, it sounds like he’s apprehensive about you. 😳 Don’t try to change his mind about the situation you think he’s not believing correctly. Just let it go. If he decides he wants to get to know you further, then he will — but right now, you’re getting to know him! And if he’s got a roommate who he believes, on an issue that isn’t that big a deal in the scheme of things — especially given the casualness of your relationship with him — there’s no reason for tension. I know you want to change his mind, but you’ll be a lot better of if you get to know and see what he believes, how he makes decisions, and if, given those things, he’s someone who’s right for you. 😉

My advice is to not spend any more energy on this guy — or if you do, make sure you’re playing “the numbers game” — in other words, not putting all your eggs (or energy) in one basket!

Hope that helps!

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