[shu1988]

Hello,

I am looking for simple opinions and responses to a situation I am currently in. I recently moved in with my fiance that I have been dating for a few years. We had a long distance relationship and now living together we are finding out more and more about each other.

Recently I have noticed a few things that I haven’t noticed before. Recently since I have been moved in I have noticed that he does not truly kiss me back like he used to. I figured it may have been nerves since I have moved in. But then after a few months I asked why he didn’t like kissing me as a joke. And he responded that he doesn’t like kissing on the mouth that much, rather on the cheek. I couldn’t help but feel stupid for all of these years that I didn’t pick up on that. I asked if it was something I was doing and he said no it’s not me it’s him he just prefers the cheek. But for some reason I just felt stupid and keep trying and when I kiss him on the mouth he doesn’t even try to kiss me back!

And then the other night I realized that while we are intimate he always keeps the television. I finally turned it off the other night as a joke and after asked him why he likes watching tv during our intimate moments, again kind of in a joking manner to see his actual response. To that he said he isn’t watching all the time, only if something he wants to hear! I was floored that he really is watching!

I really do not fight about it, rather some times get sensitive because I feel like I am boring him. Then he will act like I’m mad and turning the subject to a fight which I am not… I just don’t know what to do… any comments or thoughts, has this happened to anyone else. Am I just being overly sensitive? I just need advice how to approach this.

Thanks!

[shu1988]

April,

While waiting for a response, I have just been keeping my recent post on my mind and still really confused. So today after last nights response tried to keep my mind off of what is been bothering me. So today I decided to clean our entire apartment because we have a busy weekend and this was a great idea since I had the day off and could take my mind off of the past response.
So while cleaning and organizing I found my fiance’s old phone.
To start, in the past years I have never once looked at his phone and completely trusted him. I am a very loyal and trustworthy person. So I was deciding whether or not to look at the text messages. Something in my decided that I should, just because I was worrying and needed confirmation that I am just being sensitive and over thinking.
So I decided to look at his past messages (which were while we were dating).
I scrolled down through and noticed one person from his past that he mentioned he needed to call and catch up with. Again I told him I didn’t realize he kept in touch so often with this person, hence being this took place while we were in a long distance relationship. So while looking over the texts, I saw this girls name pop up!
I was curious just to see how the texts were between them and how often they spoke. Here it turns out they texted all the time! I was so hurt, I mean he never mentioned how close he was to this person and it made me wonder, why hold that back?!?!
I went through all of the messages. Apparently she had a boyfriend, but you could tell that they had been flirting “harmlessly” if you even want to put it that way through the messages. I was so upset when I saw this!
I knew they knew each other and went to a sporting event together. I was not happy at the time, but this was 2 years ago. But in one of the messages I saw that she said he begged her to go? I’m really confused now, I mean we are engaged now, and were dating at the time. I basically was looking at his phone when I feel like I shouldn’t have, but am upset, how do I even approach this when he comes home today?
PLEASE HELP!!!!
I am still curious and upset about the past post, and now with all this new info I just feel at a loss of what to do!!
Please anyones thoughts soon please!!!

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

You need to amp things up in the bedroom. 😎 When things go sour with sex, people have a tendency to complain and criticize. They talk about the problems instead of doing something about them! 😉

If you make the bedroom a more interesting place, he’ll want to turn off the television! Check out the book I wrote for couples who want to underline the X in their sex life: It’s called Romantic Date Ideas and you can get it here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url].

The dates in the book are not just about sex — they’re about reconnecting sexually and setting the tone in a date for intimacy. Many couples forget that keeping a romantic and sex life alive takes work! Start with the book. Try some of the dates, and let me know how things go. 😀

[shu1988]

Thank you so much April! I will definitely look at the book and give it a try! Thank you so much again!

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 😀

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