[kayla]

hi,
im currently in an unofficial relationship with someone I care a lot for. We’ve been dating since Oct 2014 and in jan. we both agreed to take a lil break but still talk and do the same things we were doing when we were officially together. he said he needs to get his mind in the right place and get his stuff together and that he does want to be together but needs time. I try my best to be patient and try not to think about whether when he’s not with or talking to me if hes with another female. I don’t think he is but due to my past relationships I feel that nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me maybe hes playing me but I try to brush it off because I don’t think he would. but im getting really impatient and don’t know what to do. Like what if he is?? I don’t think my heart can take it if he did that to me. I know he works a lot and so do I but I feel that shouldn’t stop you from seeing eachother and spending time together. I don know if I should say something because technically im not his gf but sometimes feel like I should, can you give me advice or help??? anything is greatly appreciated 😥

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure how old you are, but I can help you here. If, after dating for five months, which is the time when a couple usually decides if they’re going to be monogamous or not, he’s asked for a break in the relationship. This means he wants to date other women. I know this is upsetting to you, and you don’t want the break or his dating others, but it’s better if you’re honest with yourself, even if it hurts in the short term.

I’m not a fan of breaks in dating relationships. There is always hurt involved when one person is faithful and stays steady, and the other one tests the waters and dates other people. I would rather see the two of you break up, so that you can get over the pain and move on. If he misses you, he can try to win you back. And if he doesn’t, then after five months of dating, you can chalk it up to a relationship that didn’t work. They happen! 😉 What’s going on now is your pain is being prolonged. You’re sticking your head in the sand (or trying to, anyway!) and hoping he’s not dating other women, when I’m pretty sure he is. Why else would he ask for a break? I know you don’t want him to be with others, but when the two of you agreed to the break, you agreed to date others.

I hope that helps.

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