[Ash3]

I broke up with my ex boyfriend 3 years back. I thought I didn’t feel the same way and he was getting really serious. He was also one of my best friends. Our best friends are the same people so we have to meet often. I was with him, supporting him, helping him after our break up. I helped him heal, endured his curses and anger. Then finally, we drifted apart. Last year he started dating another girl. They completed a year last month. Even we dated for year. One of our common close friend says that he doesn’t look serious with her but he spends most of his time with her. There are pictures of them everywhere. But he hasn’t forgiven me yet. I have tried to mend things but he is still angry. He says that practically I did nothing wrong and he should forgive me but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t tell me why. He is very hostile and rude towards me when we meet but if I get hurt by his words, he immediately tries to mend things and pays extra attention. He remembers small details about me. By just my voice, by just one word on the phone he realizes that I called for something important and I’m not okay. If I’m sad about something, he indirectly tries to give advice. I think about him everyday. I don’t know whether I ever stopped loving him.
But, I don’t know what he feels about me. Please help.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The best thing you can do is to move on. The relationship is long over, and he’s with someone else now. Stop looking to him to give you things — whether it’s forgiveness, better behavior, an apology — whatever it is. And start looking to yourself to make a better life, without him in it. 😉

The only thing that is confusing you is your desire to change him, rather than yourself, and his reluctance to do what you want him to do. Focus on yourself, not him. Your frustration will disappear when you let go of him, and make a better life for yourself, without him. 🙂

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