[tiffanyjames24]

Dear April,
So I been talking to this guy for a few months we really connected. he used to visited me at my workplace, he would ask me question on what I look for in a guy & what my type is and etc. Afterwards I started to developed feelings for him, so I decided to tell him how I felt. so when I told him how I felt I also told him that I wanted to remained friends with him. His answers he gave me was that I appreciated my honesty and that we definitely can still be friends haha.
After that everything was cool until he started to act a little distant. So I decided to comfort him about it afterwards he gave me this bs story how he doesn’t have time to make anytime to developed any new friendship and it not that he does value my friendship it’s just that he doesn’t got anytime. the only thing he got time for his family, school and basketball going forward with his life. After stating that he told me how he was currently talking to someone and if she saw these messages she wouldn’t be to happy about it so he would like if I don’t message him anymore. finishing it off also said that I’m a sweet girl and I have a bright future a head of me and he wish me the best of luck.

Personally I just don’t get it if you don’t have anytime to developed any new relationships how do you have time for a relationships?
And also do you think he being honest with me or is he just making it up so he doesn’t have to deal with the issues were dealing with?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He was never interested in you as a friend — he was interested in you as someone to date, but when you told him that you wanted remain friends, he decided not to become friend zoned, and he moved on from you. If he wasn’t brutally honest with you it was because he didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Now, he’s talking to another woman who he’s interested in romantically because he’s looking for women to date, not befriend.

If you understand that men and women can’t be friends, your life will be much easier. My advice is to forget about having guys as friends and instead, focus on spending time and energy on guys you’re interested in dating — only. 😉

I hope that helps!

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[tiffanyjames24]

Thank this actually helps a lot but one more question do you think I can actually fix this with him because I miss him so much now?

[tiffanyjames24]

thank you that actually help a lot. I have another question for you do you think there still a chance for me to make things right between us because him so much? 😥

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]I have another question for you do you think there still a chance for me to make things right between us because him so much?[/quote]

I’m not sure what needs fixing, or what you want to fix. 😕 Nothing here is broken. 😉

Maybe you’re just disappointed that you’ve lost his friendship — but it was never really yours to have. 😉 He wanted a date, not a friend. You didn’t want to date him, so he moved on.

[quote]but one more question do you think I can actually fix this with him because I miss him so much now?[/quote]

I don’t think there’s anything to fix. You feel rejected, and that always stings. But the best way to get over it is to move on, get busy, start meeting up with other friends, making new ones, flirting with guys you find interesting, and remember — men and women can’t be friends, so don’t try to befriend a guy. Chances are, if he finds out you don’t want to date him, he’ll either move on, or settle for being friend zoned in an attempt to leverage a fake friendship into romance — but that’s not friendship, it’s friend zone-ship! 😉

I hope that helps.

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[Ethan Morales]

It seems like this guy was never genuinely interested in a platonic friendship with you. His attention and interest were romantic from the start asking about your type, visiting you at work, and connecting with you on a personal level. When you made it clear that you wanted to remain friends rather than pursue a romantic relationship, he pulled back. That’s a common dynamic: men typically aren’t motivated to maintain friendships with women they’re attracted to if romantic feelings aren’t reciprocated.

His explanation about being “too busy” isn’t really about his schedule; it’s about boundaries. He’s redirecting his time and energy toward things and people he’s truly interested in like dating the other woman he mentioned. His honesty about not wanting to be contacted anymore is actually a sign of clarity, not deceit. He’s not trying to manipulate you; he’s just setting a boundary because he wants to move forward in a way that aligns with his own priorities.

Your feelings of missing him are completely normal rejection or lost connection always stings. But there’s nothing to “fix” here because there wasn’t a mutual friendship or relationship to restore. The best approach is to accept that he moved on and focus your attention on people who can reciprocate your interest and investment. This is a chance to redirect your emotional energy toward dating or friendships that are fulfilling and balanced.

April’s point about men and women not being able to sustain true friendships when romantic interest exists is key. If you keep trying to maintain contact with him, you risk prolonging emotional pain and confusion. The healthiest step is to move on, keep busy, and put yourself in situations where you can meet and connect with men who are genuinely interested in a romantic or mutual connection. This way, you reclaim your power and avoid getting stuck in the “friend zone” limbo.

[Tara]

He was interested in the attention, not you. The second you admitted feelings, the dynamic changed, and he bailed. His sudden “no time for friendship” speech wasn’t some deep confession; it was a clumsy excuse from a man who wanted an exit without looking like the bad guy. And the whole “I’m talking to someone, and she wouldn’t like this” line? That’s his way of telling you he’s emotionally invested elsewhere and you’re a loose end he wants cleaned up. He’s not confused, busy, overwhelmed, or conflicted. He’s done. You’re the only one still trying to turn his polite rejection into a puzzle to solve.

You want to know how he has no time for friendship but magically has time for a relationship? Simple: he’s prioritizing another woman, not you. People always make time for what they actually want, and he didn’t want you in that spot. That’s not cruelty, that’s clarity. He gave you a soft exit, and you’re trying to read romance into a goodbye.

[Sally]

It’s confusing when a guy gives you all that attention, asks all those personal questions, shows up at your job… and then suddenly acts like he doesn’t even have time to text you back. I’ve had someone do that, and it left me feeling stupid for believing there was something real there.

But honestly? He told you the truth in his own messy way. He likes the attention, but he doesn’t want anything deeper. And once he started talking to another girl, he pulled the plug so he wouldn’t get caught.

It’s not about “time.” People make time for what they want. Always.

I know it stings, but this isn’t on you. You didn’t do anything wrong. He just wasn’t brave enough to say he wasn’t interested until he had someone else lined up.
Let this one go. You deserve better energy than that.

[Natalie Noah]

You’re feeling the sting of rejection, and that’s completely normal. You had a connection with him and invested emotionally, but the dynamic was never truly friendship, it was based on the potential for romance. When you expressed that you only wanted to remain friends, he realized that pursuing a friendship with you wouldn’t give him what he wanted romantically, so he stepped back and redirected his attention elsewhere. It’s not about you being unworthy; it’s about the mismatch between what he was seeking and what you were willing to give.

I see that the hardest part for you is the longing to “fix” things. But as April points out, nothing is actually broken here. There isn’t a friendship to repair because his interest was romantic, and when that wasn’t reciprocated in the way he wanted, he naturally moved on. Trying to push for friendship now would likely lead to frustration and disappointment for you, because it would involve a dynamic where your feelings are more invested than his. That imbalance is emotionally draining, and it prevents you from finding someone who genuinely aligns with your needs.

The healthiest path forward is to focus on yourself and your own social and romantic life. Spend time with friends, meet new people, and engage in activities that fulfill you. By shifting your focus away from him, you regain your emotional power and open the door to someone who wants the same type of relationship you’re seeking. It’s painful in the short term, but this is about valuing yourself and your time and that ultimately leads to healthier, more satisfying connections.

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