You already know the answer, you’re just hoping someone will permit you to ignore it.
Yes. You cut it off. Completely.
This man is not a partner. He was sleeping with other women, wanted to keep you on the side, and now he’s using your kids as a bridge to keep access to you. That’s not generosity. That’s leverage. And it’s dangerous.
Your kids are not emotional bait. They are not consolation prizes. They are not tools for a grown man who can’t commit but still wants sexual access. The fact that you can see exactly what he’s doing and are still hesitating tells me you’re prioritizing short-term comfort over long-term damage.
Here’s the part you need to hear clearly: letting a non-committed, sexually opportunistic man form a bond with your children when he has no stable role in their lives is irresponsible. Full stop. Kids attach. Kids don’t understand “casual.” When he disappears, and he will,l they pay the price, not you.
And don’t lie to yourself by calling it “upsetting them.” What upsets kids is instability, inconsistency, and adults who come and go without explanation. You are allowing exactly that.
He is not “still wanting sex.” He is testing boundaries, waiting you out, hoping you’ll weaken. Every interaction keeps the door cracked. He doesn’t respect you because you haven’t closed it.
