[kiim808]

James is a Dr. I met while he was in Hawaii for a family party back in July. We met at a club and and hit it off right from the get go. We went on a couple of dates while he stayed in Hawaii and yes we had sex. When he went back to the states we kept in touch via text, e-mail, hour(s) long phone calls and skype. It seemed like he was really into me. he would send me messages telling me i was his angel and that he was so blessed to have me and he has waited so long to find someone like me that he felt passionate about. I would not go a whole two hours a day without hearing from him.
About a month after leaving Hawaii he asked me to go wit him to Vegas. In Vegas we had a blast. We stayed for three days and three nights. I feel as if it were a little awkward……like he was holding back. But he was still very sweet, and never denied me if i reached for his hand to hold and sex was amazing. He introduced me to some of his friends and we had a great time with them. During our Vegas get away he told me he booked me a flight to come to the states and stay with him for a week around the time of his birthday but After Vegas things seemed weird. He wasn’t texting me as often or calling me as often for about a week or so and the cuteness of his messages diminished but as time drew near for me to visit him things starting coming back to normal.
Trip #2 wasn’t as awkward. i stayed at his place for six days. He introduced me to his siblings and he took me to church where i met his parents. He and his best friend had talked about meeting up for diner on a double date when i got up there. And his sister asked me about my daughter which means that he mentioned me to both his sister and his best friend. both good signs right? I met a lot of his friends on this trip and I feel like he wasn’t used to bringing women he dated around his “circle”. I felt as if his family was not used to meeting his “friends”. We met up with his family before I left for his birthday diner. So i felt kinda special. When he took me too the airport, he waited at the desk with me, offered to pay for my check bag, waited til i got my boarding passes, then he kissed me, hugged me and wished me a safe trip.
I have now been back in Hawaii for two days following the trip. The first day back we exchanged one text message….that’s it….no phone calls….NADA. 😥 I wasn’t going to throw myself at him so I let it go. Day two, today, a bit better. I called him and everything seemed normal. He voluntarily told me about his day yesterday and seemed sincerely interested about my day and asked how I was doing. I just hate feeling like I have to call him. I REALLY like him. He’s everything I could want for myself and more. And now that I know him I can not have him. We are not “boyfriend and girlfriend” but I dont want to see anyone else and I thought he felt the same. ( I usually read people very well) I am so confused now. What should I do? I read Men are form Mars Women are from Venus….. is this the part when a man “goes to his cave?” The book says men retreat and then come back. Does he like me or not? If not then why introduce me to the family and friends? Did he somewhere along the line lose interest? If so Why? How do I get him to pay more attention to me again? Does he need space? is this need of Space a sign that maybe he’s truly considering getting serious?
Some things to consider: He’s been single but dating for two years. no kids. never been married. facing some stressful financial issues…..(his practice made 20,000 dollars less last month than the average month) he is looking at lowering the amount of days he holds his practice open per week and cutting the hours of his assistants. not used to bringing females around his friends.

please help…..i think i am in love with him….. i want to be more than his friend..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He did lose interest. 🙁

The problem with long distance relationships is that the normal rules don’t apply. You met in July and hit it off. Then you met up in Vegas for a few days in August and hit it off again. Then it sounds like you spent six days with him in September when he introduced you to family and friends. But now this month that you’re in Hawaii, which I think is his home base from what you’ve written, you’re not getting any dates from him.

What you have is a bit of a fantasy holiday sex romance and that’s very different from a day to day relationship. I know that you had amazing fun and he even introduced you to his family and friends (always a good sign), but when it comes to having a day to day girlfriend who’s there through the good times and the bad (you mentioned his financial stresses), he’s not as interested in that kind of thing.

When looking for Mr. Right it’s important to find someone who wants the same thing you do. Meeting on vacation is great, but it sounds like he’s looking for more of the same — a vacation girlfriend, not someone with whom to settle down. And I think that’s what you want.

It’s great to have a guy you like, but don’t put all your eggs in this basket. Keep your eyes open, your profile online (if you’re using dating sites) and don’t consider yourself exclusive when that’s not what he’s ready for.

I hope that helps — even though I’m sure it’s not what you wanted to hear. 😳

Join me on Twitter @AskAprilcom where I post relationship highlights and also, join me on Facebook as well at this link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=62076&p=68133#p68133[/url].

[Anonymous]

thank you….not what i wanted to hear. but its what i needed to hear. I am the one who lives in Hawaii. He lives in states.

I’ve not been texting him or calling him unless he does so first. Is this still ok?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Yes — it’s more than okay. It’s entirely appropriate. And while you’re not calling him or texting him, please buy and read Think & Date Like A Man, a book I’ve written for women EXACTLY like you and in your predicament. It will help you know who Mr. Right is, and how to get him — and keep him.

Here’s the Barnes & Noble link for a paperback copy: [url]https://search.barnesandnoble.com/books/product.aspx?userid=rQ3TlLRCcY&isbn=0595374662&itm=2[/url] or you can download it from this site at this link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. I’m quite certain you’re going to have a lot of “Aha!” moments when you read this book. It’s going to help you enormously.

[kiim808]

Thanks again and will do 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome. I think the book is going to help a lot. Please let me know what you think.

And if you want to get tweets of the relationship advice highlights from this site, follow me @AskAprilcom (no dot!). You can also friend me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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