[Anonymous]

So im needing some help deciding. My bf and I have been going out for 2+ years. Im 20 and he is 22. But in my family we have this tradition of getting married and have kids before 25. I know im still young but I do love him. I’ve been with other guys before and they never made me feel the way I feel with him. He is moving to be closer to his family and he asked if I would move with him. I want to but I dont know. Im scared that it wont work out and ill be left there in the end in a place i dont know. He stayed out here for a year and a half more then he would of if he didnt meet me. My plans for the next 5 years has been going back to school, moving out of the city im in. That would take care of it. But am i not thinking this through enough? He doesnt want me to move if it is for him. He wants me to move because its right for me. what do you think would be best?

[Ask April Masini]

Good question! 😀 And your instincts are correct — if you didn’t see the problem here, you wouldn’t be writing me. But you DO see that there’s a problem and you’re trying to ignore what you already know — so let me help you jog your instincts awake! 😆

After dating your boyfriend for over two years, and being clear that what you want is marriage soon, it would be unwise for you to move without a ring and a date. It doesn’t matter that he moved to be near you — guys are supposed to chase women, but NOT the other way around. And while it’s not exactly “chasing” him because he’s asked you to move with him, it goes against the tenet that I feel very strongly about and write about in my book, Think & Date LIke A Man, [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], that women should allure men into winning them over. If what you want is marriage, and you have a good, solid two year relationship under your belt and are of the age when you want to marry, then it’s time for you to start playing the dating game seriously. 😎

Your boyfriend has already said that he only wants you to move if it’s right for you — well, it’s not. If it was, you wouldn’t be writing me. What’s right for you is his proposal, setting a wedding date, and then moving or not moving (with him).

I hope that helps. I know you know what to do now — and that you’re going to have to face the possible end of the relationship to do what is right. Let me know how things go — and join me on Facebook. I want my readers there, as well as here! You can link on here: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

you said that what’s right for me is his proposal. For the past 5 months he has been talking about is the future. What I want and what he wants. How many kids (if we were to have any), and what the more important things are. He has brought up about how 2 of his friends just got married and wonders what it would be like if we got married. When i sometimes say ‘if we are together then’ he looks hurt and always asks why I dont think we will be. He didnt really talk about this before. So would that count for anything?
His mother is coming out to meet me next week. And it is a big deal because I haven’t really met any of his family due to them living so far away. I have only talked to them on the phone. He is very close to his mother, and he never let any of his pother gf’s meet her. Does that mean anything?
Sorry if this is not making any sense. Or if im not giving enough details

[Ask April Masini]

Good details! I’m glad you included them. The fact that he’s bringing his mother to meet you is very important. When a man is interested in settling down, he’s going to introduce you to his friends and family. This could be a crucial meeting. 😉

After this last post of yours, I think he’s getting ready to pop the question, but wants his family’s approval. Hold tight and see how the meeting with his mother goes. And good luck!

Please join me on Facebook — I’d love to have you there, as well as here. Here’s the link! [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

well that sounds good 🙂 but what if he decides to move before asking? should I go with him? I know that if we didnt work out (i hope we do though!!) that I would have a uncle just a hour away that i could stay with till I get back on my feet. He keeps telling me that he really wants me to move with him. Things seem to be going good also. (we used to fight a lot now not so much) and he tried to invite me out to his home town a couple months ago but I couldnt go because I couldnt get the time off.

[Ask April Masini]

No. You should definitely not move without a marriage proposal and a wedding date. You have too much to lose, and he has nothing to lose. If he loves and cares about you, he’ll want to take care of you emotionally as well as in other ways.

Slow down, and be prepared to stay put. See how the meeting with his mother goes, but if he doesn’t propose to you and asks you to move without that commitment, my advice is to let him go.

I hope that helps.

And hey!! You didn’t join me on Facebook!! Please click through this link and become a member: [url][/url]. 😀

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