[Jenny369]

I met this guy in California who is 7 years older than me. We met in a very natural way- our mothers were going to lunch with each other and we both just happened to tag along with them. It felt almost like a “too good to be true” moment or “meant to be”. It wasn’t planned and we were both instantly attracted to each other. After the lunch I said “Well maybe I’ll see you around?” He asked for my number.
He knew that I did not live in California, but that I lived in London and come back to California a lot to visit my family. I wasn’t sure yet when I would be going back, but I told him it might be a while.
We texted later and made plans for our first date.
While in the date, I was taken back by how much of a gentleman is. He is a truly sweet person and has great manners, and cares about others. He loves his family, especially his Mother.
He had been very respectful towards me throughout the date as well, which I love and made me feel very comfortable!
We went on our 2nd date and got to know each other a lot better and he kissed me at the end of it.
He is such a good kisser!!
He told me that he tends to move fast in relationships (physically but not usually emotionally) and I told him that I don’t normally move fast when it comes to sex and I like to wait until I really know someone.
He was completely understanding and respectful.
We talked about what we were looking for, and we are both looking for long term relationships.
3rd date he cooked me dinner at his apartment and the night was going really well. We were really bonding and starting to get to know one another.
Only problem is, I had JUST been called back to work in London and would be leaving in 5 days.
I told him that night and he was sad about it, and so was I.
When I found out about my return I promised myself that I wouldn’t sleep with him in the 5 days that I had left. It was way too soon and I didn’t want to get attached before I left. Besides, I wanted to be able to come back and continue where we left off if possible. After all, I don’t see him as hookup material- I see him as an outstanding man I would like to be with long-term.
Well, I fell into the temptation and we had sex that night.
Once again, this is totally unlike me and I always wait a while to have sex with someone I like. We were both just really in the moment, really liking each other, and I think trying to make up for the fact that I was leaving and it was kind of sad.
We joked, “Why didn’t we meet each other 6 months earlier?”
I spent the night and left in the morning.
We saw each other that same day when he invited me back over to hangout. We watched a few episodes of his favorite TV show, cuddled, talked and laughed. We had sex again.
I found myself starting to really like him and wanting to be with him. Like I said, when I have sex with someone, I feel much closer and connected to them. I told him this and he told me he also felt closer to me.
The next day would be the last day I would see him. We just laid with each other and talked. I asked him what would happen when I leave, and if he would continue to date. He said “Well, I mean you’re all the way in London…”
I told him that if something is worth it then you have to go after it. We left it open and I got the impression that he would continue to date, but preferred to be with me. He just didn’t want a long distance relationship.
Is it wrong of me to want him to try, even though I don’t like long distance relationships either? I would like to think I am worth chasing after, especially because our chemistry is incredible and the way we met cannot be duplicated! It feels like we shouldn’t just let it go to waste.
He texted me before I left that he wants to keep in touch via email and share all about what’s going on in our lives & with work. I know he was being genuine.
I’ve been away for a week but I haven’t heard from him yet.
I really want the kind of man who will chase after me, or let me know he is interested still. I really want to email him and say ‘hey’ and ‘I miss you’, but I really want to hear from him first. However, I don’t want him to think that I’m not interested either by not emailing, and that I’ll just forget about him.
SO what do I do? Email him? Wait for him to email me? Or forget about the whole thing?
His birthday is in 2 weeks and I want to send him something from London, just to let him know I’m thinking of him and that I care about him. Is that a good idea?
Like I said, he is worth chasing to me but I need to be pursued first because I need to know if he’s really interested.
All help and opinions would be appreciated!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He made it pretty clear he didn’t want a long distance relationship. 😳 My advice is to listen to him, and not to expect him to do what he doesn’t want to do — especially when his behavior (not contacting you for he last week, since you’ve left town) matches his words. 😉 I don’t think you should contact him because it’s just going to take the opportunity for him to chase you, away from him — and it also takes away the opportunity for you to know just how much he wants you (or doesn’t), when you start e-mailing him, initiating contact, etc. It’s fine for you to send him a birthday present in two weeks, but don’t expect him to suddenly become someone who wants a long distance relationship. It sounds like he’d be open to a relationship if you are both in the same city, and he’s open to keeping in touch without a commitment until then. And remember, that if you do want a guy to chase you, you should not only not chase him, but you should be having a great life without him, so that if and when he does chase you, he feels like he’s really going after a catch, in you! 😎

I hope that helps.

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